Telling People You Are Banded?

[WannaBe1/2TheWoman 0]

Hello - I hope to be banded in April, and I'm so excited! One thing I would love to know from you all -

Are you / or / have you told (most) people about your banding? So far, I have only told a couple of very close friends and a couple of family members. And I'm thinking that once I'm banded, and people start to notice my weight loss, if they ask "What are you doing?", I'm just going to say "eating less..". That won't be a lie, but is it wrong?

It's not that I want to keep it a secret or that I'm ashamed, but I just don't think everyone needs to know. I also don't want to be the subject of debates/gossip at work, family gatherings, etc.

If you've been banded, how are you handling this?

If you're about to be banded, how do you plan to handle it?

Thanks!

Sherri

[tibbie 0]

I've told my mom & my sister but that's it. I agree that I don't want to be the subject of debate or gossip. I feel like this is private & gaining or losing weight already makes you the topic of enough conversation- pleasant or otherwise. (let alone all the misguided comments) So I'm not even opening this up for any discussion.

Probably I'm just touchy, but I think knowing me doesn't mean you get to know all about me. Know what I mean?

[jarvisj 0]

Best wishes to you. I found this was one of the hardest part of the journey. I am very private. I was scared to tell anyone because I was nervous I would fail and everyone would know. I didn't want to be the talk of the town either. People love stuff like this and it can be a big fuel booster for gossip. It does get better though. After you start finding your way around your new and amazing new life...you tend to not care as much. You are just so darn happy. I now tell anyone who wants to know. I don't spill my guts to anyone who is willing to listen, but I am honest and I much rather tell them myself that hear from others. It wasn't always easy though. You need to do what works best for you. You will get mixed views and some may be really painful and some will surprise you. I do tell people upfront what I do want out of it and what would be hurtful to me so they know how I feel. I tell them I don't want to be known or examined as the girl with lap band. I'm still the same person. Best wishes to you.

[shannybp 0]

Hi

I was banded on 3/12/09 and went back and forth with this a lot. I decided to tell people. I am not ashamed and this is a decsion I have made for myself. If others are going totalk they are going to talk regardless. Be happy and secure that you are doing what you need to do for you. GOOD LUCK

[balletgirl 0]

Hi! I got my lapband Sept 24, 2008. My husband thought I should not tell anyone. But I made a decision to tell mostly everyone right away because you are right. You will drop weight and people will notice and question you about it.

The biggest thing is the change in the way you will eat from now on. I did not want to have to come up with some weird explaination as to why I was doing a liquid diet (always the first two days after a fill) or a soft food diet (the next days after a fill). It makes it a lot simpler during the holidays and since everyone knows you are limited on the amount of food you are consuming they won't bug you to over eat nor will they be offended if you aren't eating their food! Some foods are not easily tolerated, so if you go somewhere that that food is served then you can avoid it and not offend that person if they know you've been banded.

I found everyone to be extremely supportive of me! Only one friend thought she could no longer give me any sweets and I said "that's not true - I can eat a little bit, just not a lot"! (Obviously you won't make it a habit to eat sweets since it defeats the purpose of the band!)

My biggest concern was eating out with my family because I did NOT want to tell servers my personal business of having a lap band. I have only once had to tell a server that I had "stomach surgery" because she was adamit that I could not have a child size meal. Other than that, I have found plenty of things to eat when going out with my family. It's almost an adventure going to different restaurants and finding something unique on their menu that I can eat. For instance at TGI Fridays they serve a wonderful side of mashed potatoes! Mexican restuarants are great for refried beans! My husband and I joke that now I'm a "cheap" date! Soup is always a good choice eating out and then just telling the server that you aren't hungry. That way you aren't forced to tell them your private affairs. And nowadays so many people have food allergies or things they do not want to eat, most places do not question me when I ask to eliminate something from a food item (i.e. the bread topping and cheese from french onion soup).

Good Luck!!

[kaytiebugs 0]

I wish I didn't tell coworkers. Now the only thing anyone ever wants to talk about is how much weight I've lost, asking questions, giving me unsolicited advice, watching every bite I take, etc. I told just a few people now the whole office knows. I don't care that my friends and family all know because I love them and they are really supportive and not judgemental at all.... but I really wish no one at work knew.

[crzytchr 3]

I decided to tell everyone. There are many people who can support me and also benefit from the surgery as well. Last year I had a coworker who had the surgery but didn't tell anyone. When people commented on how she was looking good or if they inquired, she just said she was eating less and exercising more. Technically it was true, but I remember thinking maybe I was a failure for not being able to do that. I found out later she was banded. I just thought it would've been better had she shared her experiences with others that could benefit from it. THAT is why I tell everyone who asks and some who don't.

[ThinWithin 0]

It's a personal thing to me. I have long been the biggest person on both sides of my family. It brings people comfort I think because as long as I am they are not...kwim? I can't do this with a peanut gallery of opinions. I have told my husband (of course lol) my mother and a friend from out of state. Today I told my 7yr old and explained to her that it was a private thing and something I would only share w/people I would be comfortable seeing me in my underwear. hahahaha she seemed to get that.

I dont intend to lie to people should they ask but I just need to insulate myself right now from people who would be less than supportive.

[MiniBand 0]

I haven't told many people because someone else at work had surgery and she said everyone watches her eat. And other people just started giving me their opinion when I said I was considering it... that was enough for me. Still... It has been hard to lie. I finally broke down and told my supervisor I wasn't going on vacation but on medical leave and she asked me why and I told I didn't want to tell her. She was ok with that. I was lucky and was denied the first time and left it at that when asked and most people assumed it was because I was not heavy enough because my BMI was 37.5. I just let them believe that.

[footballmom104 0]

I told my local co-workers because there was simply no keeping it from them, and I told my boss because she had a right to know why I was taking sick leave. Otherwise, I tend to go on a case-by-case basis depending on how well I know the person and can gauge their reaction.

[Lanakila 1]

I was very open about it, and even had the diagrams on my desk to show folks who were interested in the particulars. People tend to think that I should have lost loads of weight by now, but that's because most of them only know people who have had bypass. Unfortunately, it has taken me 7 (yes, seven) fills to get the right restriction, so I am only now seeing a good loss. Folks have generally avoided the topic, or asked me "so, how's everything going" and I just told them that I was getting frustrated with how long it was taking to get things adjusted right. It was the truth, and they were really sympathetic.

[Minxz 0]

For the private people...How did you tell your boss you were having surgery without telling them what for and managing not to sound rude or secretive?

[stephanie317 0]

It is a very hard decision because there is no turning back. Once you've disclosed that's it. I'm scheduled for next month and outside of my immediate family, I've told one person. If someone is sincerely interested in weight loss and had difficulty like I did, I may tell them but that's it

[Minxz 0]

I told a couple friends outside of my family and they reacted with the usual surgery horror stories and stories of people who stuck to diet and exercise dropping 60lbs. The other send me a diet book. The funny thing is both of them are as heavy as I am. I really don't want to deal with it while I'm concentrating on this so I will only tell those I have to tell and the ones I'm comfortable enough to tell to "stuff it" lol.

[wintobethin 5]

I have told who ever wants to hear about it. I have told my church family and they are ALL supportive, and so happy I am losing weight and still eating (I am chair of Fellowship, so I deal with all the dinners at church). I have never received a bad comment from anybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Banded on January 16, 2009

Edited March 18, 2009 by wintobethin
Banded Date