Mammograms ARE torture devices

[Penni60 45]

This did not happen to me thank god but I did just have one done. They are a new torture device most likely invented by a man that we as women subject ourselves to and the sad thing is WE PAY FOR IT.

Anyway, someone sent this to me in an email and I thought I would die laughing. Have fun.

POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side, and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, and then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try Decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds. Also, girls aren't made of sugar and spice and everything nice....it's Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled, and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm.

Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off! "What?" I yelled.

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy ... the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type

greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible. "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said. "Oh I am so sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps.

[Pansy 1]

JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDE!

Pansy

[Mita 2]

OMG that is to funny. I hope I can keep a sense of humor when I go get mine.

[Duckie 0]

I skipped mine this year and now I know why! LOL!!

[Sandybells 0]

Why don't they check for testicle cancer that way?????

Tee Hee

[Penni60 45]

I have actually seen a cartoon of this and it is called a "MANOGRAM" LOLOL!! I wanna be that technician. LOL!!!

Why don't they check for testicle cancer that way?????

Tee Hee

[piercedqt78 658]

I had to go for one last year because my doctor thought he might have felt something. My husband was very supportive and said well guys have to have their prostates checked and that is just as bad. Umm excuse me????? Not even close, I had my 40DD made into pancakes and he thinks a little finger is just as bad?? I also had natural child birth, but he was better about that, since he almost passed out just watching not actually enduring the pain. :laugh Men! who needs 'em? Oh wait my car needs an oil change, I guess I do for now~Mandy

[Joyce in VA 0]

Penni.

I loved the story. I think I would have strangled that girl.

[fee 0]

i still have to go for one