i got that failing feeling :(

[AMJOHNSON 0]

I have had the worst month ever. I was banded on 12-10-2008. I am down 81 lbs. I have had two fills with no restriction still. I have had a very stressful month with personal problems and been sick alot(upper respitory infection and horrendous menstrual cycle). I barely have exercised and I have not been able to stick to eating correctly. First reason is I have no restriction. I dont know what to do to get my surgeon to give me a good fill. I have 3cc in a 11cc band and it has done absolutely nothing for me. I can eat everything and anything with no problem. I can gulp and nothing gets stuck. I am never filled. Out of being depressed from feeling this choice is another failed attempt for me to lose weight I have just not really cared to follow the rules and I know I have gained weight. I go back on Monday for my 3rd fill. I am scared to face what I have done in the past month, I am upset I will get the old 1/2cc fill again and have another month of struggling to get that full feeling that never seems to come. I am ashamed to face my family and friends who have supported me through this and believed this was the answer to me getting my life back and have to tell them I have gained weight back. I am so conflicted and depressed. I just want to crawl in a hole and cry. I can't explain how horrible I feel. Everyone on here seems to have had great success in their lap-band journey and I just don't know why my experience is not what I thought it would be. I know it is a tool and we have to make the right choices. I do try to get my Proteins in and not to drink while I eat and all that good stuff but it is not filling me so I do as I have always done and eat more than one helping or turn to junk food to help fill me. I still believe deep down that I will get to that spot of good restriction but the longer it takes with these little fills the more chance I have of staying with my old eating habits. I ma going to face the music and try to get back to what is right I just pray my surgeon gives me likee 2 or 3cc's to help get me restriction and have the tool actually do its job while i do my part too.

[lindar172 1]

81 pounds in three months is nothing to sneeze at. Give your body time to recoop and you will continue to do well. It takes time and a lot of work on our part so don't give up yet.

[crzytchr 3]

You were banded 3 months ago and lost 81lbs. That is great. Stop sabotaging yourself by thinking you are failing. Go back to following the rules and cut out the junk. Get your fill when you go. Tell your surgeon everything you said on here. Ultimately the surgeon will decide what is best, but your input may help him. I understand your frustration with wanting restriction, but please don't think getting a big fill is necessarily the answer. It is possible to get too tight and that is really bad. If he gives you a smaller fill than you want, ask if you can return in 2 weeks if you still eat more than you should. You can do this. You proved it by losing the first 81lbs. Stick with it!!!!!!

[slimcolagirl 0]

wow 81 lbs is incredible! why do you think you are failing? the weight will not come right away. It sometimes takes another reminder, but remember it will take time and consistent effort with the lapband. Relax and enjoy the journey a little. and congrats on the weight loss, you're really on your way. :-)

[AMJOHNSON 0]

thats for the support but i don't deserve all this credit I should have clarified that I lost 48 lbs prior to surgery during my qulaifying period and pre op diet. I lost 10 lbs my 1st weigh in 2 weeks after surgery and 16 my second weigh in when I got my first fill and 7 lbs my last weigh in when I got my 2nd fill. So I really have only lost 31 lbs since surgery. SO you can see my frustration. I am just so scared of gaining the weight back because I can fall back into my old eating habiyts so easily, due to the fact I have no reaction from the surgery. I almost welcome getting sick to teach me when to stop because obviously if I were able to know when to stop I never would og got up to 479 lbs and needed the surgery. I just need some physical indicatiors to tell me to stop or it is enough or this is not the best thing to eat.

[crystal525 26]

I have only lost 18.5 pounds since November. Today made 4 months since my surgery. I too was feeling pretty bad about it. But we have got to stop thinking that we will lose 10 pounds a week with the band. If you have lost 31 pounds in 3 months, that is an average of nearly 3 pounds per week. That is FANTASTIC. Think of it in terms of what it means over the next year...next 2 years. Read my post earlier this week about getting ourselves "in check". You need to make sure your expectations are realistic. How much did you think you would lose the first 2 months. You have made tremendous progress....you need to be proud and not ashamed. You made a decision to get healthy. Stick with it. Why give up now? Because you only lost 31 pounds? Say that out loud... :scared2: Did you ever think you'd lose 30 pounds in a few months? Stay on the horse. Trust me...I know it's hard without restriction. I gained 6 pounds at my 2nd visit and 1.5 pounds at my 4th (most recent). I now have 5.2 cc's in my band (4th fill) and I finally feel like I'm eating the amount I should be--usually less than a cup at each meal. And I have just started eating "WHAT" I was supposed to. The restriction helps with that. Talk to your surgeon. Print out your post and take it with you. Give it time. Don't let fear of what others think hold you back. We have all done that for too long. Keep us posted.

[BethFromVA 5]

Don't forget that this is a journey, not a race. We will all have bad periods during the journey, but you WILL eventually hit your sweet spot. My first two fills did very little for me. The third was better in that I wasn't hungry between meals, but I was still eating more than I thought I should be able to. When I went in, I had only lost 2 pounds from the month before since I had been up and down all month.

I know we have this mindset that because we constantly failed at diets, that this too will be another failure. It won't. Just give it time and you will eventually feel in control of it all.

And 81 pounds?? That is freakin' fantastic!! Don't lose sight of that.

[serenity55 15]

I still think you're being much too hard on yourself. You absolutely deserve credit for every pound you have taken off.

I'm only four weeks post op, but I try to focus on the changes that have taken place with a 32-pound weight loss. Maybe you can do that too, because there are bound to be some differences. It doesn't matter when you lost all 81 pounds, the point is, in my opinion, that you have lost them.

Good for you! Easy does it. You can do this--and we're here for you!

Debbie

[crzytchr 3]

I almost welcome getting sick to teach me when to stop because obviously if I were able to know when to stop I never would og got up to 479 lbs and needed the surgery. I just need some physical indicatiors to tell me to stop or it is enough or this is not the best thing to eat.

What I was talking about it being too tight. Most people actually gain or stop losing when they get too tight because they start eating foods that are softer and normally more calorie dense... "slider foods": ice cream, chips, candy, etc.

You will get restriction. It just takes more fills for some people. As big as I am, I only have 2ccs in my 11cc band and have really good restriction. My friend has the same band and didn't feel good restriction until about 7ccs. We started off the same size. It is different for everyone. Do not give up yet, take credit for the weight you have lost so far, and move forward.

[Cherylita 0]

WHEWWWWW!!!!! for a second there I thought "What am I doing wrong? 81lbs!" I was banded 12/31/08 and had lost 32lbs my last weigh in last week. As of today I have lost 6 more (according to my home scale). I think I could have lost more, but I haven't kept up my exercising and I ate more than I should-because I felt no restriction and fell into old habits. I have since started measuring foods and watching not only how much I eat, but what I eat. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Stress causes worry, worry causes munchies--at least for me. Also you mentioned a physical indicator...try looking for a sigh. I have learned that when I am full (not when I am stuffed) I take a deep breath. I have learned that is my signal and I put the fork down and push the plate away. If I go over that, I start to feel a little nudge in my chest. Believe me, I have tested it and yup, got a little stuck. As of now, I am at 8cc in a 14cc band. I was so happy to feel some sort of restriction after feeling pretty much nothing the first 2 fills. My NP said that's pretty normal for someone with my size band. She says that generally patients w/a 14cc band will start to feel restriction @ 8cc and find their sweet spot @ 10 or 12. I think I may need 1 to 2 more cc's to be at my sweet spot, just judging by how I am feeling now. But who knows. Just relax, LB weightloss isn't supposed to fall off quickly it's a slower process.

I do get a little discouraged reading about folks who have lost close to 100lbs in 6mos. I can't even see myself doing that, but I keep pressing on and what takes some 6mos, could take me 10 or more, but I have to keep fighting to get there, right?

Keep your head up and have faith in yourself.

Cheryl

Edited March 15, 2009 by Cherylita

[smsmithart 4]

I know I didn't have as much to lose,but its taken me 1yr to lose 50lbs.some people are just slow loser I am one of them..give it time and try to focus on just being healthy and more active..

[mstrina27 0]

I am sure as everyone has already said... give it time... you did not gain it over night so it is not going to come off over night... the reason they give you 1/2 - 1cc at a time is so your stomach can get adjusted to that. You want the weight to stay off when you loose it so don't rush it... Everyone's success story is not the same. I am a slow looser but one thing i can tell you is that i havent gained back 1 pound that i have lost. This is not the biggest looser in the real world you can't workout 8-hours a day... Keep going to your apts. getting your fills and you will be ok... Congrats on the weight you have lost so far...

[sexylips 1]

you are doing very good...... I wish i would of lost 81 pounds like you,but soon i will its ok its taking me a long time but it will happen. Stay possitive and keep working on your goal........lol

[Delivered 0]

I am impressed...81 lbs. is fantastic weight loss. I am amazed that you lost that amount of weight in a relatively short amount of time. You should be proud of yourself. Just think, you don't feel like you've given 100% and you've still lost a lot of weight. Keep up the good work and try not to be too hard on yourself. You're doing great!

[jetsy62 0]

Any way you cut it, you have lost 81 pounds due to the lapband. Whether it be pre-op diet, whatever .... you lost the weight because of the band. That being said, when before in your life have you lost 81 pounds in the same time frame, if ever? You are doing great, continue on the JOURNEY. Like already said, this is a journey, not a race and you have the rest of your life to participate because the way I see it, the journey is never really over. The band is a tool that enables you to make a lifestyle change.