I'm going to make myself accountable here.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Thanks Mariah, I did much better today! I'm just getting to run off to do my Calisthenics. xoxo

Thanks iwalk for your concern. I am plenty tight. I get hungry, its pretty normal. I call my surgeon, yes. Some people eat more than others, I don't feel there is anything wrong with that. I can still lose weight even with eating up to 1600 calories per day.

[tapshoes 2]

OK LilMiss, you know the VVs are following your saga here, and I am delighted to see that you left the bad day of this week behind, and are back on the band-wagon (so to speak).

Keep up the attitude and the exercise...

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Thankie Tap! I'm so glad I have the ability to just keep trying even though things go astray. Ya just gotta keep trying.

I think it depresses me when I can't get out and walk. Really bad even. The sun and the fresh air... nothing like it in the world!

So what I'm doing right now is doing the age old Slim*Fast diet. This has always worked for me in the past. ALWAYS! Except right now I have no Slim*Fast so instead I'm drinking my Myoplex until I can get some.

I think it's helping to shrink my pouch, which I really need to do. Tightness has nothing to do with how much I'm eating. It takes awhile to get this wrapped around the brain. IDK. I just wish I could keep doing it long enough to get back to where I left off.

Help me! Yeah, that's what I truly need, some help... ;o)

I'll start up my diary again really soon. I need to learn no one else is going to do this for me but me. I'd like to inspire others too though. This is really, really difficult and it's nice to know others are being successful. :tt2:

[AngelaW 0]

Irene,

You are motivating lots of us!!

I need to start posting daily as well. We are all in this together and I applaud you for your daily efforts!

I ran 7.5 on the elliptical last night and found myself in amazement that I am only burning about 100 calories per mile. It seems like it should be more, dang it!

**and it sure didn't stop me from devouring those 2 reese's Peanut Butter cups that showed up on my desk a while ago (at the small price of 220 calories for both).

WTH!! I AM my own worst enemy!!!!!!!!!

Edited March 19, 2009 by AngelaW

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Irene,

You are motivating lots of us!!

I need to start posting daily as well. We are all in this together and I applaud you for your daily efforts!

I ran 7.5 on the elliptical last night and found myself in amazement that I am only burning about 100 calories per mile. It seems like it should be more, dang it!

**and it sure didn't stop me from devouring those 2 reese's Peanut Butter cups that showed up on my desk a while ago (at the small price of 220 calories for both).

WTH!! I AM my own worst enemy!!!!!!!!!

want, the whole my own worst enemy couldn't be more true. I struggle so much with that. I can also be my own best friend to, to myself.

I had a good talk with my husband last night. I was almost in tears because I know for a fact I have it within myself to do what I need to. The conclusion to that was him telling me he loved me at my worst and will love me now. Him telling me I'm at my best too. He is so blown away by all my hard work and what I've done thus far. That's just it, he said he loves me - and he wants ME to love me too.

He wants me to see all the beauty he sees, inside and out. Well, that of course won some brownie points - but most importantly it woke me up to something new. It made me realize that instead of putting my self down for all my mistakes, I should just let it go and move on.

Start over again. If that means I have to start over one thousand times, then that is exactly what that means.

I will get to my goal. I know in my heart I will, I just have to be patient with myself and learn from my mistakes as I go along. This is a lifetime of mistakes on my body and will likely take a lifetime to overcome them.

Good thing for today: I did my walk. Again. I'm so good when it comes to my workouts. I know what my problem is and it's my poor eating habits. Always has been. Again, that isn't going to change overnight.

My husband reminded me of some things he went through. He did not overcome them over night, but he did. He truly is my rock!

[Shinyhappymommy 2]

Irene,

Would you please put a link to this post in your signature line? I'm having a hard time remembering to look for this thread without it being at the top of the February Forum's list. Thanks.

I'm glad you have a supportive hubby. That has been such a key to my success as well. Hang in there, Friend. You can do this.

[tapshoes 2]

LilMiss, your husband sounds like a 'keeper'...it is great you have that kind of support.

I hope your weekend went well, and am looking forward to today's installment....

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Hey hey, good morning all!

Good idea Melissa, I will do that. Follow along closely ;o)

Heya Tappy!

Ok, I have been a really good girl. I had maybe two slip ups this past weekend. For the most part Monday through Friday were a big success. But that only puts me back the same weight I was before I totally blew it the week before! Grrr....

So right now I'm sucking down a Generic Slim*Fast Optima (equate from Wally World) and I have to admit. It's pretty danged good! I've been doing this shake thing for so long I'm actually liking the generics now. I'm so sad... LOL!!

So today I have on tap one Protein shake which I've already consumed early this morning, the shake I'm having now and one for lunch. I have a few V8 fusion lites (to help with the veggie/fruit servings) to along with my day too. When I get home I'm going to have a Lean Cuisine for dinner. Only because I have to eat quick. I have to go to class tonight, but only tonight. It's to sign up for an online Excel class (8 week course).

I'm sure that will take up alot of my time in the evenings so I won't have so much time to eat, eat & eat! I should breeze through anyway because I believe I'm beyond the Excel Beginner level. I'm definitely an intermediate. It's necessary though!

Later if I'm still hungry I can either have a small bowl of Cereal, some FF yogurt or perhaps a SF hot cocoa (which helps to nod off). I'm being a good good girl!

Yes, my husband is a good guy. He just wants me to be happy. Can't fault him for that. He says just be patient and don't think about it so darned much! In time the weight will drop.

So far so good!

:frown:

PS Happy Monday everyone!

[sexylips 1]

hello hello hello

how are you irene? im on board are you?....lol

[BethFromVA 5]

I expect all of you to rail me if I'm not doing the right thing!! Do you hear me?!?!

Holy Cow MAN!! I woke up and weighed myself and I was 255.2!!! WTF?? What is wrong with me? I feel so terrible, and I feel like a blasted failure... Okay, just so you know I had gotten all the way down to 227 Lbs. Then I fell off, and when I say fell off, I MEAN WAYYYYY OFF!! I could just feel the blood drain out of my face... dammit!

I keep going up and down, up and down. I'll get back down to the low 240's, then I'll forget all about what I was doing and the slider are right back in my mouth and my scale is climbing back up again. But this is ridiculous. I haven't been this weight since right after surgery when I blew right past the 250's. So... today... right here and RIGHT FREAKIN NOW THIS IS GOING TO STOP!

So, I'm looking to you my VV sisters to look after me, pick me up and give me that swift kick in the ass that I so desperately need right now. Why? Because, I'M NOT A FAILUREOR GOING TO MAKE MY BAND A WASTE!

This right here is going to be my daily diary. ...and when I say daily, I mean every dang day. If I miss a day, I expect you to send me email or whatever to say, "Hey WTH are you?" You know...

I'm going to write to let you all know what I ate for the day, what exercises I did - did I slip up? Did I have a great day? How much did I weigh that morning... anything and all information pertaining to my weight loss is going to be right here.

That it ladies... I'M OWNING UP!

Aw, Diva, I just caught this thread. Here is your kick in the ass:

"I'M NOT A FAILUREOR GOING TO MAKE MY BAND A WASTE!"

You're NOT a failure! Remember why you did this, went this route. Go back to that honeymoon phase when it worked and you worked it. Maybe that's the "kick" you need, to be reminded how fantastically wonderful you are and that you deserve that healthier you, that better you, that happier you!

I mean, we can kick you in the ass, but the only one you're hurting is you. The only one you really have to answer to is you. And maybe if you can remember why you deserve better than you're giving yourself, it will be the right kind of kick that you need. :huh2:

[BethFromVA 5]

I have to admit - this was probably the best thing I've done besides being banded for my WL Struggles. Public humiliation and those ever watchful eyes so far are keeping me in check.

May I?

If you feel you need to consider it public humiliation, I am in no place to judge or cast aspersions. However, what about public accountability? I don't see ANYthing that you should be humiliated about, Irene. From where I am, you are down over 80 pounds from when you were at your height! Did you have a setback? Yes, absolutely. Do you need to get yourself in check? Double yes absolutely. But unless the thought of humiliation works for you, I look at it as accountability. For me, accountability is hard, but positive; where humiliation is harsh, but negative.

Okay, off my soap box. This is your journey, and I don't want to waylay you at all. It was just a little observation of mine. :huh2:

[BethFromVA 5]

Okay, only one more post for right now but one more thing I noticed (except that there was no posting from you the last few days on what/how you did) -- you don't seem to have a lot of fruits and veggies. Fiber can help you feel full longer, and including some fruit can help with the sweet cravings that crop up from time to time. Do you like "live foods"? If so, maybe make a small apple or some grapes a snack instead of the choices you haven't been so happy with. Just a thought...

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

sl, hey I'm here!

Beth, howdy! Welcome to my thread. :huh2: You cracked me up with all your posts! LOL!!

I understand the whole honeymoon phase thing... the fact is once its gone and you have fallen off track its really difficult to get that feeling again. I do more sporadically than I have in the winter months. I chalk it up to getting more sun and whatnot. I feel pretty good right now since I got my walk in for the day.

I had a thought too since I'm only at work M-Th. I decided I'm going to take my car out and clock one mile (or a little more) up the road. That will be my marker to go up and walk back making it two miles. I really don't have so much time so it will be better than not. I will Walk Su-F. Walking seems to be my best form of exercise that I love to do, and keeps my spirits up.

You are absolutely right about the whole public humiliation thing. Accountability is more like it, as its a positive way to own up to all the bad things. It can also be a way to feel good about all the good things I do to.

This is a lifetime commitment and some days are going to hit, some miss. I can't totally berate myself for that. That is one of the reasons I have discontinued the form I've been posting here. I will still post daily when I can, as the weekends are super busy for me. Ha! Who'd have thought I get more "me" time at work... LOL!!

So, as it has become I'm making this place my personal journey. I will make it work for me somehow some way. I'm going to let all of you know what I go through every day. As for today? So far so good...

Yesterday I ate too much... so not such good news on that account, but today again is a new day.

Fruit... yeah. I went to my dietician last month to talk to her to see if she could give me some pointers on what I can do to curb my snacking habits. Of course she mentioned the fruit. I do love fruit and I really should give it more of a chance.

Sometimes I think I should give myself one monthly goal. Cold turkey on everything has really proven disastrous for me! I did it for a good long while until I came crashing down! So, if I could do one good thing per month maybe it will turn out for the better? IDK, a new month approacheth...

Any suggestions for my first month?

Maybe my goals have been skewed and should be more centered around my actions than so much weight related. I can do the right thing and lets the chips (oh I do love them! Haha!) fall where they may. ;o)

[BethFromVA 5]

Well, you certainly know what you need to do. The hard thing for us can be in putting those things into action.

I think if you can keep a positive attitude about what you're doing and why, and maybe only tackle one thing at a time as far as the changes you want to implement, rather than everything cold turkey, you might not feel so overwhelmed or whatever it is you're feeling.

Maybe try to eat an apple for a snack each day for a month, then modify something else for a month, and so on.

When I see my scale not moving or realize that I had a bad day (like today -- didn't eat BAD, just could have eaten LESS), rather than beating myself up like I used to do to the point where I would fall off the wagon so bad that it would catch me up in its wheels and I would revert completely back to where I was, I remind myself that this is a journey, not a race. So long as I do the right things, the right outcome will come.

You know we're here for you. I'm proud of you and what you're doing. After all the people I've met on here who want to be petted and pampered for eating a triple bacon cheeseburger three days after surgery, you are a welcome relief. :huh2:

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Well, you certainly know what you need to do. The hard thing for us can be in putting those things into action.

I think if you can keep a positive attitude about what you're doing and why, and maybe only tackle one thing at a time as far as the changes you want to implement, rather than everything cold turkey, you might not feel so overwhelmed or whatever it is you're feeling.

Maybe try to eat an apple for a snack each day for a month, then modify something else for a month, and so on.

When I see my scale not moving or realize that I had a bad day (like today -- didn't eat BAD, just could have eaten LESS), rather than beating myself up like I used to do to the point where I would fall off the wagon so bad that it would catch me up in its wheels and I would revert completely back to where I was, I remind myself that this is a journey, not a race. So long as I do the right things, the right outcome will come.

You know we're here for you. I'm proud of you and what you're doing. After all the people I've met on here who want to be petted and pampered for eating a triple bacon cheeseburger three days after surgery, you are a welcome relief. :tt1:

Beth! :ohmy: Granted I couldn't even IMAGINE eating that two days post surgery! I felt full and sick off a few sips of Water... LOL I can't even eat one now, (well maybe half with the top bun taken off).

Thanks for the encouragement, and making me feel better about myself. It's so hard sometimes to remain happy and positive with myself. I have to though to continue the lifelong fight to stay healthy. Getting negative just continues the spiral into bad habits. I'm not so much worried about getting skinny, that is not what I strive for, for me it's all about health.

I was diagnosed with hypertension at the tender age of 31 and was over a few months given max doses of HCTZ and Maxide generic. Wow, who woulda thought I was in such bad shape so young? The bad thing is, my uncle (mother's brother) ended up dying from complications of this disease. So needless to say it scared the crap outta me to hear that! My whole Mom's side of the family has this disease too, so even if I didn't get it that young, it was bound to happen.

Due to my hard work and exercise I am down to 25% of what I used to take, and my blood pressure is always well within normal range. My doctor still has not given me the go-ahead to discontinue my medications however. I may need to take a little something for the rest of my life, but it's tantamount to what I use to take!

Just recently too i was diagnosed with arthritis in my knees. I'm still only 35, so my body is telling me to get right! My orthopedist as well as my PCP told me no more treadmill. I miss it, I won't lie! I'll just have to make it up in other ways however, and in all honesty I do prefer walking outside.

So for the month of April (actually starting today [why not?]), I will take on your suggestion for eating an apple a day, and I'll up your ante with a small banana a day as well. I do usually eat a small banana anyway, but the weekends I forget - so I need to do that more then. It'll still be a good alternative for snacking. I'll let you all know how I'm doing with that daily (or when I can get on here). Be sure to check in on me!

And starting today I'm going to return to logging in all my food. Gotta get that back in check. :w00t: I guess that would include my new fruit for snack idea.

As for my weigh-in's, I think daily was a bit excessive. I need to not be so obsessed with weight. I'll weigh-in Monday mornings for you guys, I think that will be sufficient. A pound a week,that's all I ask!

So, until next time!