Learning Lessons

staramorcita · August 18, 2005

I had my surgery on August 1st. I am 2 weeks post op now (I think!!). I researched the band for many months, bought books on it, avid read mag articles, news blurbs and lurked on this board for many months. It was not a decision I took lightly but after many years of struggling with just getting 10 lbs off and lately I enter every New Year 5 pds heavier than I was the year before, I knew I had to do something more permanent about my problem.

I've come to the conclusion that obesity is very much like any other chronic disease such as diabetes or high blood pressure. Something to be managed for the rest of your life. You can get it off but you will always, ALWAYS, be managing it. You will NEVER eat without being MINDFUL of it in some way or other, whether positively or negatively. Just like a diabetic has to monitor their sugar and take medication when their sugar is out of hand, so as obese people we will always be monitoring those pounds. Some of us watch helplessly as we see that number get bigger and bigger and others decide enough is enough and some try and try and get nowhere. Sheezzz!!! What a cross to have to bear.

The first step to WLS for me was to ADMIT that I am FAT...not pleasantly plump, not funky chunky, not "Thick" or big-boned...FAT!!! And folks this admission was not due to vanity issues (though I do think I have dimorphic issues because my mental image of myself is always shaken up when I see a pic of myself...LOL!!). I LOVE life...I fully enjoy everything about it and I could feel how the weight was slowly enveloping my simple pleasures in life as I got larger and larger. I want to be one of those 70 year olds that are spry and walking around doing their errands...something that was not going to happen if I didn't manage my disease.

The admission about my weight and that it is a physical disease AND a psychological thing as well finally made me own up to myself. To recognize that yeah sure I would like to do this by myself and pat myself on the back for my preserverance and determination...BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE NOT ONE MORE MINUTE making this harder than it has to be for myself. People who have irregular heart rthyms get pacemakers, people who have bad knees get knee replacements...Hell, you can even get a new heart altogther if you have to. Whatever it takes to prolong and enjoy what is an already a brief existence. Why? Because you're entitled to it. All of us are. So here I am two weeks post-op and learning the most amazing things about myself and what propels me to eat. It's an eye-opener. Do I UNDERSTAND why I eat or get the cravings I do etc.,? NO WAY!! But at least I've become mindful of them enough to ask, " Why DO YOU WANT THAT chocolate donut when you just had a satisfying meal 1/2 hr ago?" Before in my helplessness I would have probably just eaten it and said "What the hell I'm fat anyway. I'll do better tomorrow..." No more..Tomorrow is today and that's that. Every minute that we spend lamenting and regretting, is one less minute you have on this planet to find love, joy, excitement, satisfaction...

So for everyone struggling with the band, for everyone considering the band...Don't waste time...JUST DO IT!!

divaliciousdee · August 18, 2005

WEll said!!!!! I think you are a mind reader. Thank you!

My name is Danielle and I am fat but in 11 days I will start my journey to the new me!!!

God has so many plans for all of us even for those who don't believe in him. I suffered all my life being fat (my BF says that is too harsh he says I am heavyset..geez. that sounds soooo much better...DUH.) I am finally taking control and admitting I need help. The band will be my help. I do enjoy life and love people and now I am gonna take em by storm!!!

Oh 2 Be Free · August 18, 2005

YOU GO GIRL!!! You have to spirit that is going to make this journey successful. Good for you! Both of you!

Have a great day.

nickie456 · August 18, 2005

I couldn't admitt that I was fat till my first grandchild was born in Feb. It hit me

then that if I want to be able to get down in the floor and play with him, I had to do something. Thats when I started doing research on the band.

Jachut · August 19, 2005

I think I came to pretty much the same realisation just researching the band. In so doing, I realised my interest in the band was piqued because I thought it would take away all that other stuff. I had a few initial questions about things like eating out for special occasions etc and I had a few moments of real fear at the thought of losing my friend food.

But reading everyone's experiences made me realise I had to do the hard work myself anyway and I opted not to go for a band for the time being (I'm also not quite fat enough, lol, my health fund wont pay). I cant say how different i feel on realising what I have to do and that it will be a lifelong work in progress, I've told myself time and time again of course, but never really believed it.

So this time round, I've lost 5kg, slacked off and for once (and this is truly a miracle) I've climbed back on the horse, and gotten going again. Another revelation - you can have a bad day and it doesnt have to be the undoing of everything.

I think once you get these principles firmly in your head and truly believe them, then you will get there eventually.