Mind your own Business???HELP

[BethFromVA 5]

Although I did feel like the comparison was odd, you are exactly right about the above quote.

But I guess that is a difference in personalities. I do feel a little responsible for letting others know if there is something I know that could help them. Although my starting BMI was over 40, I am not as large as a lot of ppl that have this surgery. And that doesn't matter at all, because my weight struggle has been the overwhelming focus of my life for years. When I see someone that is really large, my heart breaks for them. I know how overwhelming my weight is and has been, and how hopeless it has felt to me, and for me, if I had an additional 100 or 150 pounds to lose, I can imagine how overwhelming that would have been. So, for me, I am so hopeful that this works, and that maybe I will be the catalyst for someone else. For me, I guess I do feel like I am my brothers keeper in some ways.

Please note the excessive use of "for me". I have only my conscience to be accountable to. Not anyone elses. And, certainly, no one else is accountable to my conscience...

Oh, I totally understand what you're saying.

If somebody I knew was very overweight and saw me losing weight and asked, I would likely tell them in secrecy. But none of my coworkers are overweight, so I don't say anything to any of them. It's not their business.

But as for who to tell who is overweight, I would feel I'd need to be approached first. Strangers wouldn't know I had lost weight, only people I know. And I could never presume to walk up to them and start this conversation.

We all know that we are at different points in our respective journeys. I think each and every one of us has had to hit some form of rock bottom before we considered this route. My mom had mentioned surgery probably a half dozen times in the past and I was like, "No, no way, nope, can't do it. I can do this with diet and exercise." It took me getting to "that point" before I considered it, then I jumped on it.

So in other words, if a very overweight friend or acquaintance asked me, I'm not saying I wouldn't tell them the whole truth. I guess it depends on who's asking. But I don't feel comfortable yet just shouting it from the rooftops.

[lola0806 0]

Again, just for me: to respond by telling people that I am watching what I eat and excercizing would be tantamount to lying. I tried to "watch what I eat and excercize" for my entire life and I failed miserably. I "watched what I ate and excercized" all the way up to 286 pounds. Then I finally decided to get the Lapband. True, it is just a tool. True, I now successfully watch what I eat and excercize. But I wouldn't have been able to do it without the boost the band gave me and the limits it gives me up until today. To say anything else would be misleading at best.

Everyone has their own reasons for telling or not telling, just because I decided not to tell everyone does not mean I am misleading anyone. One of the reasons I started this whole journey was because of medical issues. I had not had a physical in years and when I decided to see a doctor the test results actually opened my eyes to what I was doing to myself. I decided then that I would change my eating habits and I was able to lose 60 pounds prior to my insurance approving me for the band. I have had my 3rd fill and I still don't feel the fullness that people talk about, so as of right now, I feel that everything that I am doing is still on my own and I don't feel that I am "lying" to anyone because it is the truth. If I had continued to eat what I ate before, with or without the band, I wouldn't have gotten this far. The band is here to help us control the portions of food we eat and without making conscious decisions we would all be where we were prior to going through all of this. I guess my "boost" was in seeing a doctor that gave me the confidence and strength in doing this and I know that one day my band will also be a boost for me in helping me keep my weight off.

[bandpal 7]

... just because I decided not to tell everyone does not mean I am misleading anyone... I don't feel that I am "lying" to anyone.

Lola, I absolutely understand your reasons for approaching this issue the way you do, and by no means meant to imply that you were being lying or misleading. I prefaced my comment with "Just for me" exactly for that reason. If you my comment caused you any distress, then you have my most sincere apology. We are all in this together, and I wish you nothing but the best of luck and success on your journey.

[FabBy50 0]

I think to put it ll in a nutshell, everyone is different. Some people are open books and don't have any trouble telling people about their lives. And then there are others that are hesitant to share their life stories.

I for one am an open book for all to see. I have been thru cancer twice and when customers at my work would compliment my new hairstyle I would move my wig ever so slightly and then smile!!!! Not everyone is so willing to share personal things about themselves.

Bernadette:rolleyes:

[Mrs.LadyLuck 0]

I am like you, I dont want to tell people. After my surgery I came back to work any everyone asked how I lost so much weight (15 pounds), I said I took advantage of being off. Got my self on a workout program, and I have been working on eating healthy(Low Carbs). No one asked past that.

[BethFromVA 5]

I am like you, I dont want to tell people. After my surgery I came back to work any everyone asked how I lost so much weight (15 pounds), I said I took advantage of being off. Got my self on a workout program, and I have been working on eating healthy(Low Carbs). No one asked past that.

Those of us banded so close to the new year have resolutions to use as our reason. :scared2:

[Libbyjane1976 1]

Tell them you just had enough and you followed a diet and exercised or tell them you joined weight watchers.

[gentylwind 1]

I tell them I bought a tape worm on the Internet. That tends to shut them up.