Mind your own Business???HELP

[tapshoes 2]

My response said with a smile has been (and will continue to be): Why would you ask such a personal question?

I have yet to have anyone come back after that.

[SunnyRachel 7]

Why is the Lap Band Tool any different than paying for Jenny Craig or a gym membership? Why do others somehow think it's somehow an easy or lazy way out? I wish the public was more educated on what Lab Band owners really have to adjust to in order to make their tool a success.

Boooooooooooooooooo!!!

Yeah, you really are just eating less. Why is that hard for people to believe? I think it's because most of them can't just do that -- eat less, so they look for a way to dismiss your ability to do it.

[Carrie_C 9]

I am glad to see this thread because I was wondering what to say too. No one I work with knows I have a band, and this girl at work ask me the other day what I was doing to lose so much weight. I was really taken aback because I wasn't expecting her to ask that. I just told her I had been exercising (not a lie). But another coworker has also lost some weight (she doesn't have a band) and when someone asked her what she did to lose it she said "Pushed back from the table"!! I like that response!

[jjc 0]

I don't want to tell anybody either, but I do feel bad for a few people that ask me how I have lost the weight and I tell them eating less and walking. I feel bad because they are struggling and I remember how frustrated I would be when I was trying so hard and not dropping and somebody was really dropping. I am considering tell one cousin and a co-worker, but I don't want them to tell anybody, so I have just kept it to myself.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I tell people the truth without telling them about the band. I told them I have been going to the gym almost every day for the past 5 years. This is true, but I have only had my band 2 years. The first 3 years, even going to the gym almost every day did not work.

Then I say I got really tired of being over weight so I drank slim fast 3-4 times a day for a month to jump start my weight loss. This is true. This was my post op diet.

Then I say, I watch my portions very carefully and I exercise my brains out, which is all true. The band does not stop me from eating Cookies, candy, cake, ice cream, chips, all the junk food. All that stuff goes through the band just fine.

I told them I finally found my will power and I don't let myself gain more than 5 lbs before going back to drinking slim fast 3-4 times a day.

I have no intention of telling anyone other than my children and my best friend about the band. I don't feel like it's anybody's business.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

You know; to tell or not is a personal choice and we all have a right to make that choice. But I was thinking about Carrie C who said something about someone who'd lost but didn't have the band...well, how does she know that for sure? I think if more of us spoke up about the band, it would be more accepted. Just my two cents. I don't think there's any shame in it, and I think it is common for people to wonder. There are nasty people out there, but there are also nice people who may have a loved one they'd like to help, or who may see themselves as needing help. Then there are some who should just be gagged and left in a corner! LOL

Good luck to everyone, anyway.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I started out not wanting to tell people because I didn't want people asking me how much I have lost now, etc. Now, I don't tell people because I get sick of hearing other people say "they took the easy way out" There is nothing easy about this.

[SunnyRachel 7]

but I do feel bad for a few people that ask me how I have lost the weight and I tell them eating less and walking. I feel bad because they are struggling

Well, I think there is a very clear difference between people who ask because they are having a hard time too and want to find the same kind of help and the people who ask because they just want to know your business.

I think if your instincts tell you that someone you encounter is just hoping to learn from your success, you will know if it's something you want to share with them or not. But then the question is... is this person going to turn around and tell everybody about your band?

My whole problem with not telling my in-laws is that my mother-in-law is the kind of person who has to constantly remind you of something you do or do not eat. For example, "Oh, Don, yeah, he doesn't like lasagna," or, "David doesn't eat asparagus." So I don't want to hear every time we are together, "Oh, Rachel can't eat bread because of her band."

[Carrie_C 9]

You know; to tell or not is a personal choice and we all have a right to make that choice. But I was thinking about Carrie C who said something about someone who'd lost but didn't have the band...well, how does she know that for sure? I think if more of us spoke up about the band, it would be more accepted. Just my two cents. I don't think there's any shame in it, and I think it is common for people to wonder. There are nasty people out there, but there are also nice people who may have a loved one they'd like to help, or who may see themselves as needing help. Then there are some who should just be gagged and left in a corner! LOL

Good luck to everyone, anyway.

Well, I am pretty sure she doesn't have a band. She couldn't have weighed enough to qualify. Plus she still eats really fast and drinks with her meals. And she hasn't missed work in a really long time. Plus, I know how she is and if she had one, she would be telling everyone. She would love the attention. She lost hers taking Phentermine. She takes it like candy.< /p>

Anyway, I agree that we should all be able to tell everyone about our band without getting judged. But this isn't a perfect world. I didn't tell people at work because they are very two faced and talk about anything anyone ever does. Plus, I don't need the food police. There is one coworker who is really having a hard time with her weight, and I would love to tell her about the band. But I am afraid she will tell everyone else. And I'm not even sure she would qualify. So I just continue to keep my mouth shut.

[DaMomb 1]

I have never felt funny to tell people that I had the band. My whole life people have seen my weight go up and down up and down. Finally I have maintained my weight loss for 2 1/2 years and that is what I am proud of myslef for. I have never cared what people said about me while losing weight but I alwas had a problem with myself seeing people and them looking at me like, yet again, she loses and gains the weight.

Now people are very proud of me and my accomplishment. I thank God on my knees that I finally am healthy and will always tell my story as long as someone wants to hear about it. I am here to help people like me. The people who have been thin all there life will never understand what we have gone through and are still going through. I feel for them as much as much as they have felt for me. Even though it really doesn't amount to much I know I am going to be around alot longer than I ever could have been 3 years ago.

Josephine

Love your answer Josephine. And I am just like you in that I share with everyone that I have had weight loss surgery. And like you, I have lost, gained, lost, gained... and I am so excited to hear that you have kept the weight off for 2 1/2 years. I not only hope, but I believe that this is going to work for me long term as well.

One thing I have personally found is that my "thin" friends are the most hopeful that this will be successful for me. They are constantly encouraging me, and checking on me. Even though some ppl have never been overweight like I have been, it doesn't mean that they still have not been in a constant struggle to keep weight off.

Good luck and God Bless.

[FabBy50 0]

OMG

That was sooo funny, and appropriate for the busy bodies that want to know everything!! You go girl!:laugh:

[bandpal 7]

I think if more of us spoke up about the band, it would be more accepted. Just my two cents. I don't think there's any shame in it, and I think it is common for people to wonder.

- Restless Monkey

I do feel bad for a few people that ask me how I have lost the weight and I tell them eating less and walking. I feel bad because they are struggling and I remember how frustrated I would be when I was trying so hard and not dropping and somebody was really dropping.

-jjc

Why is the Lap Band Tool any different than paying for Jenny Craig or a gym membership? Why do others somehow think it's somehow an easy or lazy way out? I wish the public was more educated on what Lab Band owners really have to adjust to in order to make their tool a success.

-Sunny Rachel

I thank God on my knees that I finally am healthy and will always tell my story as long as someone wants to hear about it.

-josephine

For me, as much as this discussion is about how to respond to a personal question (especially in sensitive environments like the workplace and extended family), it is also about learning the limits of our own control. I cannot control what other people think about me or say about me. My focus is on being true to myself, and for me that means "telling my story as long as someone wants to hear it". In addition to possibly helping someone who is suffering and educating the public about Lapband (the people who cared to be honest with me about their surgery were an essential part of my process in deciding to have it done) , I help myself because every time I speak up, I assert my own belief in the step I have taken to solve my problem.

Of course, there will always be people looking to shame and degrade others. But (again, just for me), lying or sidestepping the truth is just playing into their game. At the end of the day, everyone has to make the decision of whom to tell for themselves.

[fixin2notbfat 0]

Ok, this is my thought on the whole thing, do you not have to have tools to fix things in life, but you do not have to use tools to fix something if it is not broke, our control to our appetites is broke, we need a tool to help fix it, a face lift is to fix the way we look also, it is a tool to look better, what about implants (breast, teeth, eye lens,) they are all just tools to make us healthier, look better, feel better and to promote the beat down people in this world! We are and will not be defeated in this fight to be healthy and thin! Thank you for your ear! May God bless each and every one of you with strength,courage, and a voice to promote the well being of our bodies!

[BethFromVA 5]

Just tell people you have tapeworm. The looks on their faces alone are priceless. :laugh:

[bandpal 7]

... it is a tool to ... make us healthier, look better, feel better and to promote the beat down people in this world! We are and will not be defeated in this fight to be healthy and thin! May God bless each and every one of you with strength,courage, and a voice to promote the well being of our bodies!

YOU TELL 'EM, FIXIN2NOTBFAT!!! GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SURGERY!