Those of us who have decided not to tell.

[Lady Lap Band 71]

I have decided not to tell anyone I am getting the Lap-band. The only ones who know are my mother, father, and husband and that is because I live with my folks and lol how can you not tell your husband lol.

I am just really frustrated today. I want so badly to share my excitment with someone, but I just know deep down if I start telling I won't get the reaction I want. I know my family and friends too well. My husband doesn't try to talk me out of it, but he isn't excited. My mom worries about everything so she asks me everyday if I am sure about this. Then my dad doesn't say anything. I THINK he feels that it is an easy way out.

I'm not one to care what others think, I really don't care what they say/think, I just wish I had someone face to face to chat about this with. Does anyone else who has made the same decision not tell tell ever feel this way????????

[HeatherO 7]

I never told either and kept it the same way. It was hard not to share it with others in the beginning . . . it felt like I was hiding a dark secret or something when all I wanted to do was just talk a little about it.

Now I think it was definitely worth it to keep it under wraps. It freed me from comments or scrutiny concerning every bite I took. I am really happy about the decision now.

[alisalvo 1]

I had some initial resistance from family, now they are so happy to see the change and are encouraging my husbsand to be banded, He has sleep apnoea, diabetes and a heart condition so he really needs it.

:thumbup:I have lost 17.5 kg, 38.5 pounds, my daughter has lost 54kg, 119 pounds. So many people ask our secret. Some of these have struggled for years like me, so now I don't hesitate to tell them the answer.

I have decided not to tell anyone I am getting the Lap-band. The only ones who know are my mother, father, and husband and that is because I live with my folks and lol how can you not tell your husband lol.

I am just really frustrated today. I want so badly to share my excitment with someone, but I just know deep down if I start telling I won't get the reaction I want. I know my family and friends too well. My husband doesn't try to talk me out of it, but he isn't excited. My mom worries about everything so she asks me everyday if I am sure about this. Then my dad doesn't say anything. I THINK he feels that it is an easy way out.

I'm not one to care what others think, I really don't care what they say/think, I just wish I had someone face to face to chat about this with. Does anyone else who has made the same decision not tell tell ever feel this way????????

[cutetoilet 0]

Nobody can boss you! HA! It's a VERY tough choice to make in the first place, just to *have* the surgery. You know yourself better than anyone, and if you choose not to tell anyone, that's great. I told the world because I was so excited. If you need support, I will TOTALLY be yer pal! I had the surgery in Oct. 2007 with many complications in the first week. I've had no fill, but have lost over 80 lbs.

Please know that, in my opinion, this surgery is totally worth it. In fact, I use my surgery date as my "second birthday". Let others tell you it's an "easy way out" but shrug them off. It's FAR from easy. You still have to eat right and exercise, and that is not easy!

I wish you the BEST luck, and let me know if I can help you in anyway!

[JWL08 0]

What timing you have! I had NO INTENTIONS of telling anyone other than my parents and hubby, but for some unknown, moronic reason I mentioned it at lunch to some co-workers. You would've thought I was telling them that I met some guy and was considering having an affair by the look on their faces!!! Then another girl who would be a lap band candidate like me proceeded to tell me how everyone she knew that had it gained all their weight back. At then end they through in the obligatory, "Well, if that's what you want, then good luck." It was actually quite sad that they couldn't be happy for me... and I am still in the early stages of planning (still waiting for my appointment to be finalized for pre-op testing). Thank heavens I am not one to give two hoots what anyone else thinks. Some people are just miserable. My recommendation- keep your mouth shut; I wish I had.

[karen_karen 0]

i didnt tell many people only the few that are close and understand why i want to do this . and i can tell you im happier this way. most people (skinny people) dont understand and always think that its the easy way out. and even on tuesday when i went in for surgery to get my port fixed i can see in the nurses and techs that had to ask me questions about my lapband that they really truely didnt understand it and i know they were judging me. first question out of there mouth is always how is it working out for you? basically trying to find out if i did lose any weight or not. and when i tell them im 75 lbs down they say oh wow you did lose weight from it and blah blah blah. i know they look at me differently and i understand that they dont understand what the band is and not very educated with the whole idea. so for me i feel better that people dont know i am banded.

[Ale78 0]

I haven't told anyone except my boss(who is also a friend) and my husband. All other members of my close family think I had a hernia operation.

It makes me kind of sad that I didn't tell my Mom and My Sister but I have learned from expierience that they are not always my biggest cheer leaders.

I do not regret it one bit that I haven't told anyone. You just need to do what you feel is right.

Good Luck to us all!

~A

[addelapp5 0]

I decided not to tell anyone either. Well my family knows (small family! Just mom, grandparents and aunt/uncle).

I want to get excited and tell people but I decided that I just didn't feel like it!

I told my bosses (who are more like friends) that I am having my gallbladder taken out. It'll account for the scars and I've decided that I can make sense of the weight loss because a lot of foods are no longer tolerable once you have your gallbladder taken out (I've done some research... :wink:).

My aunt got her lapband about a year ago and tells everyone. She doesn't care what people say and that works for her. I just don't feel the need to draw the attention to myself, or have people asking lots of questions. That may change in the future but for now, I'm keeping it under wraps. I don't have surgery until March 23 though so I can't speak from much experience.

Edited February 28, 2009 by addelapp5

[julia19642 0]

I'm not banded yet, but have told 4 people. My mom: severely jealous, as she's wanted one for years. My dad: "you can lose the weight on your own, you don't need that thing". My best friend: "Why? you haven't even tried hypnosis yet". My HUSBAND is my biggest supporter. He KNOWS what i've struggled with for years and how putting on weight has changed alot in our lives.

My best friend and i have centred our lives around eating for years. As we continue to get larger, we comfort ourselves with food. She's going to be losing her over-eating buddy.

So, after all those reactions, i realize that not many people will be supportive. Most of my family is tall and thin and have never had to diet. I'm a clone of my short little "fluffy" mum. *sigh* Thanks mum. :wink:

As long as i have mum and hubby's support, i don't need to tell a soul.

I found this website 2 days ago and have been pouring over the forums. I realize that if i NEED to tell someone.....i'll do it right here....lol.

[YankeeFanatic 0]

Wow I am so glad I found these post. My wife cant understand why I dont want to tell anyone about getting the lapband. I am still in the beginning stages of getting it done but I have made up my mind that this surgery is definetly for me its actually all I have been thinking about since I made up my mind 2 weeks ago after going to a seminar. The only people I have told are My wife, Mom, Dad, Suster and Brother and they are behind me 100% ohh And my Mother in Law and Father in Law. That is all I need to know right now, who knows maybe after a while I will tell people. I dont need to tell my boss as I own my own business but its funny most people make up excuses for there boss I am going to have to make an excuse to tell my workers as I am going to have to be out of work for atleast a week. I agree with alot of you that people think its just the easy way out like after you come out of surgery you are at your goal weight it is going to be alot of hard work and as everyone that is succesful will tell you its just a TOOL to help you its not a magic wand. I am also nervouse to tell people about it because what if I fail at weight loss with the lapband than you have to explain to everyone what went wrong and blah blah blah. I am so glad alot fo you are like me and want to keep it under wraps, it is a hard thing tot do because I am so excited to get it done so I can finally get my life back and I cant share it because I dont want anynegativity about it

[hsj 0]

I just had my surgical consult and so am in the early stages of doctoring. And I have also decided not to tell. My husband and sisters know. Just because I want those closest to me to be able to support me on this Quest. I think it is a personal decision if you choose to tell or not tell. People might question you once they see the weight coming off and want to know your secret. :wink: So be ready with a reply. Keep going forward.... and do not look back.

[lindar172 1]

I told my husband and my children. I didn't tell the rest of my family especially my sister as she is very critical of me. However, she came for a 3 week visit and I decided to tell her. I almost slipped and said something but caught myself. Then I thought, this is stupid. Am I going to have to watch every word I say until she leaves? So I told her while we were driving somewhere. No snide remarks as of yet anyway. As it turned out, the next night, I got something stuck and I was glad I all ready told her as I didn't have to explain what was happening to me. I really feel relived that I don't have to be careful about what I say and to be honest, I don't care what she thinks about the lap band. I am glad that I have had it done, and I do tell most everyone that asks about my weight loss.

[neverB4 2]

At first i had a few I didn't tell but once you start losing and people start asking...guess it depends on how your feelings are by then. For me, I no longer care what other's think. I'm mighty proud of my current success so I tell all!!

[miranda robinson 0]

I have found friends and family very judgemental, not another diet, whats the point you'll only put it back it back on, we like you just the way you are, well this time I wont. I used the hernia excuse which also covers the different eating habits which come with a lapband. I was banded on the 14 January and have lost 14kgs (cant do lbs) and each day my clothes get loser and each day I get a little more energy. it is hard work and I nearly eloped with a bowl of chocolate pudding at a party last night!!!!!!!!

[julia19642 0]

I guess another reason i don't want to tell people is that i've failed at every diet i've tried. Granted, most were fad diets where i did well for a while, but then fell off the wagon. When my MD asked me what diets i've tried...without hesitation, i listed 27 different diets starting with Richard Simmons Deal-a-meal back in the mid 1980's. I can almost remember them all in order.

I just don't want to hear "Well, you've never stuck to a diet for long, why will this be any different".

Ugh. I don't even want to get into big discussions with negative people.