I need help and lots of support!!!!

chichigirl · August 16, 2005

:cross-eye

Hi, I am new to this group and in desperate need of support. I had my lap surgery in February 2002. It only took about 8 months and I had lost over 75 lbs. I continued on loosing until around March of 2004. I lost a grand total of over 125 lbs. It was at this point that I started having problems with the attention I was getting over the weight loss and how good I was looking. I began sliding and gaining weight and eventually in July 2004 had all of the fill removed from my band. Now over a year later, I am within 12 pounds of my all time high. August 3 2005 I went back and had 2cc put back in and I have already dropped 25 lbs. I have been working on my 'issues' so that hopefully this time I can reach my goal, which is 140.

Hopefully with new friends that truly understand the issues of being morbidly obese, I can be successful in my adventure of weight loss and learn healthy living habits along the way. Life is short and I have allowed old memories run my life for far too long. I feel I owe myself the feeling of being a 'normal' weight at least once in my life.

Thank you for reading and for any future advice. Sorry this one is so long!!

Penni60 · August 16, 2005

I am curious why you had the fill removed?

ReneBean · August 16, 2005

Hi Chichi Girl.

It sounds like you went from high to low to fast for your brain to catch up!

Maybe this time you can go a little more slowly - and take a few plateau breaks for your head to catch up with your body.

The trick will be to lose the weight slowly enough - and get counselling along the way. I would think that going from the "invisible" fat girl to the hot girl in only 8 months might be a little bit of a shock to the system, if you weren't totally prepared for it.

The beauty of the band is - you get to take another shot at it.

This time - if you start to have issues - you can just maintain until you are ready to go forward again. It's not a race - there is no "finish" line. Life is a learning process.

Welcome.

chichigirl · August 16, 2005

As I stated, I was having 'issues' with the attention I was getting from the weight loss, so in order to stop it, I had the fill removed so I could stop loosing and possibly even gain some back. It worked, I gained almost all of it back. Pretty silly thing for me to do after all of that hard work, but I guess I'm my own worst enemy.

Cindy

chichigirl · August 16, 2005

Thanks for the great advice, and I am receiving counseling so that should really help. You're so right about slowing things down, it's just I want it now!!!

Spoiled brat that I am. :-]

La_madam · August 16, 2005

I'm glad you are getting counseling, you had come so far to let "attention " have you go back to where you were. I hope you get to the root of your issues and find success again with your band You have found a great site here at LBT there is loads of support

FuelMan · August 16, 2005

I know how you feel, I got the ban installed in Feb 2002 in NY. I lost a lot of weight and now I am at some kind of stand still. This stand still is of my own choosing, all I need to do is get an adjustment. I am scared and nervous about it. In fact I did gain some weight, and I am a pro at beating the ban, knowing what and what not to eat. Like snacking during the day. I know how much I can eat then drink a little Water so I can eat more. This is crazy, I have been through so much to lose this weight, but I have so much more to go. I am 390 now and I started at 600. I was beyond morbidly obese, the doctor called me "Super Morbidly Obese". Everyone tells me how good I have done, but I don't feel it. I know I am playing games with this, and I feel so bad about it. I am at a point where my body is really start to slow down because of the abuse of being so fat for so many years. I to live with the past, the hurt, the pain, the looking at the world as a very unsafe place. These things are far from the truth, but my head tell me different.

I to have just found this web site from a fatty friend in NY who just had the band installed last week, and I am very happy to read about all the other people who are doing the same stuff, and who are loving and supportive. After being in touch, and kind of linked to this support I have been doing better, you know eating more along the lines so that the band is helping me. I still did not get a fill.....which I do need. But, even with all the support, I am still very nervous about being skinny, and looking..... Oh, so sexy, LOL. I think there is a lot in our past that might have to be looked at, being fat is just the result of some trauma, of past abuse. Weather it's emotional, physical or sexual. We eat to hide and cover up the hurt. Every time I was skinny in the past, it was like I was there for about 1 week, then I could not put the weight back on fast enough, in the past 25 years I have lost something like 1500 lbs. like a yo-yo. This time it is for good, it's the only way I can do it now, because my liver is not in all that good a shape to be losing tons of weight too fast. Anyway..... sorry to on so long, I just wanted you to know you are far from alone, and maybe we can do this.

Butch from Fla

chichigirl · August 16, 2005

You are a real sweetheart and I do appreciate the kind words of encourgement. We can never have too much of that. You're so right when you say the fat is just a symptom of a painful past, but I have let it rule my life for far too long and now it's my turn to do things my way, I'm going to turn the pain into power and beat this obesity once and for all. I wish you the very best and treat yourself like you treat your best friend.