Remorseful and sad and weary

[loopylou 0]

I dont know whats going on. I have had my band but little has changed. I know I must have been expecting too much from my band but I am feeling really discouraged. (I wish I had found you guys months ago instead of a week before surgery). I am now 13days post-op and have just downed - 1 aero chocolate cup (LF), half a tin (400g tin) of mushie spag bolognase with melted LF cheese AND a LF chocolate custard cup and I only just feel some restriction. Its like every time I eat I feel compelled to reach the point of restriction - why cant I stop? I feel embarassed and guilt-ridden, and I think I am probably stretching my pouch :cry . I feel like such a failure. May be I made a mistake getting the band as I obviously am not caring for it properly, following 'the rules' or showing any signs of being motivated to change my eating habits. I am so hopeless, even the thought of damaging the band or myself doesn't make me stop. And now I am whinging and having a pity party about it and fishing for your support. I hate myself right now.

[Jachut 487]

Dont hate yourself, think back. You've gone on diets before havent you? Stuck with them for a few weeks at least and lost a little weight? I would consider this period before your first fill as one where you are still for all intents and purposes unbanded and are going to have to "diet". Youve taken a big step, be a little kind to yourself and start right now to think hard about what the band can and cant do for you. YOU are going to have to change, so start right now. From what I gather it takes several fills for lots of people to really reach a good level of restriction so for now you must impose those restrictions yourself.

And what you ate is hardly 3 packs of Tim Tams and a large pizza! Its not that much!

To be honest, I decided for now not to get a band because after hanging round here for a little while I realised that in my heart of hearts I was really wanting it to be a miracle cure. Once I realised just how much work I was going to have to do to get weight off, I decided I may as well tackle it alone. You have a little "helper" and if you work with it it WILL work for you.

[Geeta 0]

Hi there,

I just had surgery a 2 1/2 weeks ago and I know I have been dealing with a lot of emotions too. You are doing GREAT though, look how much weight you have lost already! I am down 12 lbs and I had the surgery almost the same day as you did and yesterday I saw my doctor for the first follow-up. He said this is an "unsusually fast amount of weight" to lose on the band because it is a slow process. So if you have lost 11 lbs already you are ahead of the game! I am not always feeling full either and it is hard apparently until you get a fill. Talk to your doctor and let him/her know how you are feeling.

Psychologically, maybe try writing a list for yourself and post it somewhere you can see it. Make a list of ALL the reasons you got the band. Reminding myself why I got it helps me stay motivated to stick with the program. Also try making a "weight loss chart" on some graph paper so you have a visual of the weight you are dropping. I know for me, I feel frustrated because even though I know I am losing weight I am so large right now that it doesn't show as fast as I want it to! Creating a visual item can be a helpful reminder.

You can do this, you really can. Don't kick yourself for not being perfect, none of us are. It's one meal at a time. Good luck!

[gordonfamily3 0]

Hang in there...It looks like you are doing great. I know it's hard I to have suffered from the same thing. What works best for me: a journal. I write down everything that goes in my mouth and up the calories at the end of the day. Trying to stay @ 1000 calories a day. If I think I want write it down even if it's just a bite I want put it in my mouth. I also eat off a saucer, put my 3 - 4 oz of protien and a fruit or a veggie on there and thats it. If I am still hungrey then I will grab a few more oz of protien (normally chicken or fish) and that will normally do the trick for me.

I hope this helps. I have learned being on here that everyone is so different so you will just have to see what works for you. Good Luck and really I think your doing a great job don't be down.

[I'llsucceed 1]

Ohhh ((Huggs))

Listen I will admit I too would eat too much in the beginning sometimes. But you need to think of this.

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THE WEIGHT LOSS!!!!

Repeat it again.

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR WEIGHT LOSS!!!!

This is a very important time.

The most important "PREP" time.

You'll be healing for a min. of 8 weeks!!!

So remember you are in the process of prepping your band into place so that you can lose & succeed later on.

In about 2 months or 11/2 mnths from now you will feel like you really are losing & you will be.

I haven't felt much success & i am 2 months out

BUT with my second fill (its been only 3 days) & I feel so much more like "I Can DO This".

The second fill was very different from the first.

With the first I didn't feel full until I was hurting & wanted to vomit(which I did 3 days).

I was so scared like I was ruining everything I had did.

BUT with the second fill its so different. Yours may be the third or forth fill- everyone is different.

I feel full & with no pain & no over eating.

Well except one time & not again b/c it really hurt.

The band takes time to learn all the little signs it gives your body.

BUT the signs do get stronger & you can learn to live with them & lose weight.

SO hang in there, your on your way & very soon you will have a whole new feeling towards your band & will be much more happy.

I Promise!!!

:banana :banana :banana

[La_madam 20]

Lou, it is very hard to stretch your pouch with no fill so dont worry there, also you will have a hard time feeling any kind of restriction eating those softer foods. For me alot of my restriction comes with the foods I eat, solid Proteins like chicken ,beef etc..give me great restriction but softer foods like cheese sliced lunch meats, mashed potatoes offer me no restriction. Restriction also comes from getting your fills which you have no fill so it isd quite normal ot not feel restriction

If you feel there is an emitional eating problem, go and tal kto someone find theanswers. It is true we must do some of the work with the band to be successful. We do have to changesome of our ways,, no doubt about it, the band is no magic wand and the lbs do not fall off.

Hang in there maybe once you start getting your fills your eating habits will change . I know for me when I am filled just right my obsession for food goes away, it is great! Even if I feel the urge to ea the crap food the bestthing is with my current fill level I dont eat much of it.

You are not a faliure, you will succeed. DONT GIVE UP!

[vinesqueen 2]

Lou, like Christina and the Fabulous La Madam have said, this is a time for healing...

You have not been filled yet. Life pre-fill is oh so different when you are filled. You will be happily eating along, and when it is time to stop, oh dear gawd, you will know it. You WILL stop. It's like a dog running on a lead, going full tilt until they reach the end of that line. BAMB! you will stop. You know why? Because you have installed a physical barrier to that level of behavior.

However, that barrier hasn't been fully erected--it's not filled. Sand bags don't stop anything if they are empty gunny sacks. A gunny sack is inefective against a rising flood of river Water, but fill that bag with sand, and you have a pretty darn efective dam. Your band is like a whole line of sandbags stemming the river of food.

If my DH has been able to loose almost 200 pounds, if the band has kept his eating in check, then it should be no challenge for a little one like you.

Oh, and like La Madam said, you need to figure out why you are eating emotionally. Talk to someone, journal, do interpretive dance. But you need to figure out your food things. You will find that your relationship with food changing. I'm serious. Let me find and bump a thread for you that asks that question. Maybe if you see how other people are coping it will help.

If you don't know where you are going, how will you get there?

[loopylou 0]

Thankyou everyone. I feel humbled by your support and belief in me.

ps. I have started to see a wonderful therapist who has done much work with "food issues" and she is great, I just haven't seen her since my op. But I will ring her on monday to make and appointment.

[thechatrooper 0]

Off topic, but food names in Australia sound so much more interesting, lol.

"...1 aero chocolate cup (LF), half a tin (400g tin) of mushie spag bolognase with melted LF cheese AND a LF chocolate custard cup..."

lol... I've been sitting here trying to guess what all of that could be... Am I really that bored!? LOL... I'm assuming it's something like Chef Boyardie with melted cheese and a Jello pudding cup, in our terms lol. But I still haven't figured out what an Aero Chocoloate Cup could be... lol. Sounds like space food.. aero?

[ReneBean 3]

I'm right there with you on the food names... Aero choc cup? Like Reeses Peanut Butter cup? Oh - I guess we will have to get Loupy to detail the ingredients of her sins with no brand names...

LOL

But seriously, This whole band thing - it's a LONG TERM committment - not a race.

It is a battle with our long-ingrained eating habits and our lousy metabolisms.

I only hope I am doing as well as you are a few weeks after my surgery!

Relax and heal. We are here for you.

[MuffinBirdie 11]

You may seriously want to consider seeing a counselor and find out the "deeper" reason why you are eating even when things that should keep you from eating are present and not stopping you. A lot of people use food to cover up deep emotions they don't want to think about (and sometimes they are so deep you don't even realize they are there!) but if you don't un-bury what it is you're covering up with food it will be so much more difficult for you to lose weight.

[MuffinBirdie 11]

Thankyou everyone. I feel humbled by your support and belief in me.

ps. I have started to see a wonderful therapist who has done much work with "food issues" and she is great, I just haven't seen her since my op. But I will ring her on monday to make and appointment.

Oh duh! Guess I should read the whole thread before putting in my two cents worth.

Good for you though! That can be a hard thing to do.

[Jachut 487]

Aero is a chocolate bar that has either a milk choc or peppermint choc inner that's all aerated so its got air bubbles, its very light and very yummy and they make little dessert pots with the same flavours. You dont need a translation for spag bog do you? Spaghetti Bolognaise - spaghetti, meat and Tomato sauce - most often made fresh but comes in tins too.

For future reference, tim tams are chocolate biscuits (and biscuits are cookies), vegemite tastes just fine, culturally we tend to be more "British" in Australia in our terminology and food habits, Smarties are like M&M's only WAY better, fish and chips are battered flake (shark) and hot chips - chips are fries, only thicker but also crisps, Maccas is McDonalds, chicco rolls and dim sims are best not considered too deeply since there are many urban myths abounding as to what's actually in them but they're basically meat/cabbage in a kind of skin that's deep fried, muesli is granola, jam is jelly. Jelly is Jello!

I can image sometimes you have NO idea what the Australian contingent is talking about.

[Jachut 487]

Well first of all, we dont really eat shrimps anyway - we eat prawns. And yes, you can put em on the barbie (barbeque) but more often its chops and snags (sausages) or steak with a bit of dead horse (tomato sauce, ketchup).

Paul Hogan is a big tosser and no way representative of the typical Aussie bloke. Think Julian McMahon... oh, maybe that's a bit wishful, but we're not all ocker "dags" (that's a d...khead) - but a dag is really the crud that gets stuck on a sheeps bum if they havent been crutched!

Teehee, that Aussie enough?

[Kelliebelly 13]

Well said Jachut, couldnt have put it better. Dont ever think of us as like a Paul Hogan type of thing he is such a dork.