I need help with this problem of getting stuck in front of other people

[Just Banded 0]

I notice this has been happening quite a bit lately!

I get really nervous eating out with friends because everyone is eating so fast and I get "nervous" that they are going to notice I am taking my sweet time!

Last night I ordered a cup of soup- hoping the warm broth would open me up a little so I could eat without any problems, but then my dinner came (1/4 rotisserie chicken, vetables and mashed potatoes) AND I totally pbed from one bite! I was extra careful to chewing- but I just get so nervous! By the time I was done with my Soup broth- they were done with their meals and by the time I was out of the bathroom it's even MORE awkward because I have to get a to go box and everyone is wondering why I didn't eat!

This happens quite often and I don't know what to do because they are going to think I am really weird or anorexic and bulemic! (don't really want everyone to know about my band- because no one who doesn't have the band could possibly understand all this craziness)

It really is like russian roulette with me- not knowing when I can eat and when I can't!

I don't want to become some social recluse that can't eat out with friends! and just ordering Soup all the time and slider foods isn't going to help my weight!

If anyone out there has gone thru this and can relate and offer some advice- please please help me!

[spud.mama 7]

I have not been banded yet, but I am a very open person and by being so I have learned alot from other people. I have 3 clients who have been banded and if I wasn't open with them I wouldn't have known and I would never have been able to ask their advice.

To me, you are causing your own discomfort by agonizing over it. Sorta like me--my house is OMG!!!! and yet I'm on the computer agonizing over having to clean it while I'm playing on the computer. lol :rose:

I know some do the secretive thing but people will not understand if you don't educate them. (Don't get me wrong I know there are cases that ya just wouldn't want to tell them.)

Be an ambassador. :thumbup:

My opinion.

Thanks for Playin! :rose:

Spud :wub:

[gwyllgi 0]

I can totally relate. It's gotten better now, but last August at dinner with friends I had to bolt for the bathroom literally half a dozen times. It was ridiculous and embarrassing. Fortunately, one of them was also a lap-band patient and the others knew about mine, but it was still awkward. (Especially as it was a NICE restaurant. I felt guilty wasting the veal for the price my friend was paying for it.)

Is it when you're eating particular things or just random? I find that I have a hard time with beef in any form in restaurants, so I avoid that like the plague. I also try not to order Soups before meals because I'm just tight enough that even thin broth doesn't go straight through while I'm eating it, so trying to put food on top of it makes me gag. (Actually, I avoid liquids entirely in restaurants, after much trial and error. Drinking any time after I set foot in the restaurant increased my chances of choking exponentially.)

Do you have that much difficulty when you're not out with your friends, too? Could you be filled too tight?

It sounds like you don't want to, but it might almost just be best to tell your friends about your band, too. It beats being pulled aside for an "Are you okay?" chat and would probably do wonders for your performance anxiety, as it were.

[cheryl f. 0]

I would just order an appetizer and nibble on that, not a big meal you know you can't eat. Make it something safe, something you know will go down ok. Or just stick with the Soup.< /p>

I don't think people really pay much attention to what others eat and since most of us have been on diets forever they probably figure you're trying to watch it.

Just enjoy your time out with your friends, food becomes less important. Maybe then you will be less stressed about it.

No need to tell anyone about the band, if you don't want to. I keep it a non-issue, don't talk about it but wouldn't deny it if someone asked.

Hope that helps, good luck and don't stress.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

I usually eat alone but the only two times I got stuck was eating with other people. And they know I have the band. But I was pacing my eating to theirs. Big mistake. Make sure that if you order a salad or Soup have it come when their meals come then you can take your time eating the things you know you can eat while they are wolfing down their food. Eat small bites of well cut up salad (no crunchy veggies like carrots!) but you might find you can't fit both the soup and the salad so pick one. And ask for a container when your meal comes and put most of it away and maybe eat one bite of the main meal and then eat your salad or soup or applesauce, etc.. and maybe they won't notice.

[TQUAD64 9]

If I am out with co-workers for lunch, I get one of two things; either Soup or an appetizer, but never an entree.

• I save money this way
  
• I am eating less
  
• And I don't have to worry about what other people think
  

[Just Banded 0]

ha, I really do think the "performance anxiety" thing is right on!

I also think the talking to other people is hard when I am chewing, chewing, chewing.

It is really interesting to see people just gorge food into their mouths so fast! I probably used to do that too!

Usually people are finished with their meal by the time I am done with my first bite!

[Niecey 0]

I'm so glad I to find out I'm not the only one. I was banded last September and was doing great. Then I got a "good" fill and now I don't know if I'm too tight. I have not lost weight since Christmas because I have a lot of problems eating anything so I resort to the easy/bad foods. I sit down to eat with my family and I don't know if I'm trying to keep up unconsciously with their pace but then I get stuck and once I get stuck, forget it, I have to just forget about eating. Then about 20-30 minutes later when everyone is done I can go and slowly eat by myself. It sucks because get stressed from what I can or can't eat and the stress makes it so much worse. The other day at work I had just finished lunch (at my desk) and it got busy and stressful. I had to run to the bathroom to PB because I just tighten up so much the food I already had down just wouldn't stay there. Let me know if you find someone that has experience with this. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. And I don't have to worry about drinking with eating because I absolutely cannot or it will mess up the food I managed to keep down. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I had the surgery but I just miss "healthy" foods I can no longer eat and eating the same stuff and some days even that isn't easy. Does it get any better??

Niecey

Edited February 15, 2009 by Niecey

[Coco6399 0]

My husband and I go to dinner with two friends every other Friday night and they do not know that I am banded. We choose a different place to eat every time we meet. I had just got a fill on Monday and last night, I could eat mushies so I ordered the Soup of the day and mashed potatoes. I ate slowly because sometimes I pb and slime on just Water. I was the last to finish but I was talking and no one noticed. I usually order something healthy like soup and salad and when I am asked if I am on a diet, I just reply that I am seeing a nutritionist who regulates my food intake. I am afraid of getting stuck, but when I take my time and eat slowly and guage each bite I swallow before eating the next bite, I am fine. Usually I order the fish or grilled chicken. No breads or Pasta while I am out because I just might pb or slime. Anyway, just eat slowly and chew, chew, chew, chew.

[BandDiva 0]

Eating Soup before dinner seems to be the exact opposite of what you are suppose to do.

Go for the Protein and do not fill you pouch with liquids before or after eating.

If you are concerned about what people think, then tell them yo are not very hungry and are just going to pick!

[twiggysmiff 0]

It is everyone's personal decision about whether to tell people they have the band, but I have chosen to tell people. Just having them know what is going on helps me not be nervous anymore and I see it as my way of educating people about the band and not see it as an "easy" fix, etc. On Friday night, I went out with my husband's boss, his wife, and son and my husband had told them about my surgery. During the meal, his boss told me, "OK...I've only known one other person who had this surgery and I couldn't ask them about it, so I'm asking you...what's it like." I told them all about restriction, pb'ing, getting stuck, food portions and choices, exercise. He was fascinated by the process, but I think that I may have "oversold" it because he said that he wanted one. Keep in mind, he's a tall, handsome VERY fit man who would make a lot of women SWOON....(not me though because I've known him long enough to know he is a too self-centered for me) Given the fact that they knew what was going on, I didn't have to worry that I only ate 1/4 of my meal and had to box the rest of it up or that I didn't drink anything while I was eating, etc. In fact, they were amazing that I could eat as little as I did and his boss asked, "How do you feel right now after eating that little bit?" and I just said, I feel as full as you do after eating that whole plate full and will be fine for the rest of the night. I'm pretty open about a lot of things though...that's just my nature. Good luck!