Self Sabotage- Are you guilty?

[CoachCher 1]

I think I've worn my fat as suit of armour for a long time. It's a way to avoid having people pay too much attention to me. I was in a very jelous relationship once and I've felt uncomfortable about having male attention ever since. That was so long ago, it's time to let it go. I am a little nervous about dealing with that though, when the time comes.

I am a very emotional eater. I get bored or lonely or stressed and I want to EAT A LOT!! I quit smoking a couple years ago, so after this, there's no vices left...little scary! In my dream land, exercise will be my new vice...lol!

Hi DannyLu,

I was completely guilty of wearing my fat suit as a suit of armor. I have embraced my suit and love it. It takes time to shed the "Old" us but trust me it can be done.

Please let me know how I can support you.

[change4life 3]

CoachCher

I too was sexually abused as a child and as an young adult related sex to love. I used food to block out what was around me. i have always had a problem with my weight my whole family has. i hate how i look and how i feel but what makes it worse is my husband hates the way i look. He tries to support me but when i give in and cheat he tells me he gives up that i am never going to change. Now i have the added judgement of my family in-laws, because my sister in-law had the surgery and has lost 60lbs in 6 months yet i have had the band for almost 2 years and have not lost that much. so every sunday when we have family dinners they look at me and compare us, which makes me feel like eating more. i need help to get on track and i just don't know where to start. please help. thanks change4life.

[want_so_bad 0]

this is so me. i was so close to goal and have just totally ruined that. and continue to do so each day. i have even had a consult w/ the ps for a Tummy Tuck. thats is what i have wanted more then anything for as long as i can remember. now that i am thisclose....i am gaining. i am eating crap. i know i shouldnt. if i exercise i just excuse my overeating as being ok because i am working out. hello me!!!!???? exercise doesnt matter when you just eat it all back plus some. any suggestions would be great. thank you.

[Ms.B 0]

Coach Cher--

I see that this thread "ends" in April. I am new to all this and don't understand how or what 'threads' really are. But I do know that this is a very frightening subject for me. I decided to have the lap band 2 years ago. At the time insurance wouldn't cover it. But a year later I developed sleep apnea so I had 2 co-morbidities and I qualified. I had to do 6 mos. of failed diets, behavior mod, exercise, etc. I have actually done this for a year and I am scheduled to have my surgery next week. What I realized, which I swore was not the case, is that I secretly have thought that this is my magic bullet. About a month ago I started slipping. It was my birthday, then my husband's, then Halloween and I kept telling myself it was ok that I gained 2 pounds because I would be having the surgery soon and then I could lose it due to the surgery. I'm still doing the exercise and counseling etc. Then I started on the liquid diet as my surgeon has his patients do this for 2 weeks before and after the surgery. I have not been able to do the liquid diet. I've been so hungry. I was told I could add 2 glasses of milk per day in addition to the Protein Shakes. But even that has not helped. I am still very hungry and so I am sneaking food--saltines, handfuls of Cereal, etc. This is such old behaviour and I feel guilty. Also, I seem to be detached about the surgery. I haven't really thought about how I will need to change my behavior like no fluids with meals. I just figured I would continue to do what I have been doing in the past year which has been to increase the exercise and to SLOWLY change my lifestyle habits around food. Now I am feeling really scared, like maybe I'm not ready for this surgery, like maybe I shouldn't be having the surgery etc. Any comments, suggestions? Should I check back to this thread to look for a response? I'm not even sure I know how I got here in the first place!!

Helen AKA Ms B

[dean123 0]

I too am a sabatoger. I was doing so good and I am down 2 clothing sizes. I have finally gotten noticed for losing weight, by everyone :scared2:. I am not used to the attention, kinda weird and hard to accept. Plus my dad asking me every week "how much have you lost this week" makes me feel I have to live up to a loss to impress. Which has not been happening. For the last month I have been hovering at around the same weight. I gained 5 pounds from my lowest weight. Plus only my dad, mom, husband and two kids know about my surgery and are sworn to not tell a soul.

Well my sister-in-law has noticed my weight loss and when I eat something she is the food police, which I know she thinks she is helping me but at the same time it annoys me and makes me want to eat more.

Then there are the boobs, have always been huge, and I have always hated them. Now they are like a flat tire and hang low. When wearing my bra you would think they are normal. I have to pick them up and stick them into my bra, it is so sad.

I am glad to have found this post. I see I am not alone in my struggle.

We can all do this we just need to overcome our fears and quirks.

I drink to close to and to soon after meals.

Today I hid my drink out of site at my desk until it had been an hour from Breakfast. That really helped. I am going to try to do this from now on.

Thank you for the post.

[Whitepants 0]

Hi dean123, just to let you know I too am glad I found this site. I only have one friend and she a co-worker who is eating more healthier and trying to maintain her weight loss. Although she had the bi-pass they too struggle to keep the weight off.

I have and am where you are now. As far as the boobs, the most you can do right now is get a good support bra. Even if you need to pay more for it, it's worth it. I have a few from Intimacy, if you have a store in your area.

When it come to people policing my meals,I just tell them I'm now maintaining the weight. And I'm trying to find out what food is best to eat to do this. This holds them off.

Although I'm 3yrs next month out from surgery I still struggle with these last few pounds. Before the holidays I was 6 pounds from my goals. A little over confident and food, I gained a total of 19lbs. So as I write this I am 20lbs struggling.

But the most I can tell you, "We did not put all this weight on in a few days, weeks, and months". So it will take a long and stead minded journey to get off. And if you think getting it off is hard, weight till you begin to maintain.

As you lose weight get rid of the clothes you can no longer wear. When I had to wear a belt, then take in the pants, then and loss more weight, it was time to get rid of them.

A thrift shop will thank you and the women who can wear them.

As for hiding your drink, there will be more things you will being to try to break a habit. Just keep doing whatever it is and after a while you won't notice that you're doing it.

Keep coming back. We will all give you ideas what worked for us. Try them, add to them, change them but something will work.

It's in all of us to.

And most of all "the band is only tool" a tool only helps you in the job you need done. Remember that always.