Self Sabotage- Are you guilty?

[CoachCher 1]

I hear this from my clients all the time, they are "Self Sabotaging" themselves and don't know why. I know I was guilty of doing this in year two and didn’t even realize I was doing it. For me I fell into a comfort zone, I liked the new clothes I was wearing, my new found self assured attitude, and my life focus had shifted. I believe we all have different reasons as to why we sabotage our weight loss efforts. Being successful brings a whole new “Spotlight” on us and that scares the hell out of us. With success brings responsibility, commitment, and life change. Who wants to take all of that on, I know I didn’t. Or we are afraid of the new found attention we are going to receive; attention from the opposite sex, our boss will have higher expectations from us, our friends and family want more from us.

We can make excuses all day long as to why we do what we do, bottom line is you signed up for a “Life Changing” surgery. Are you going to continue to make excuses or are you going to embrace the life you signed up for and commit to the change?

If you want to continue to make excuses then I’m sure you have heard the old saying “If you continue to do what you have always done, expect to receive the same results”. Nothing is going to change until you are ready to change.

If you have agreed to commit to change then there are some things you can start doing today to help ensure you achieve success like never before.

1. Pre-Surgery- Remember back to your pre-surgery week, you were ready to take on the world. Bring that sense of excitement back into your life and watch yourself soar.

2. Remove unrealistic goals- Dr. Vuong says it best “Don’t commit to run the Boston Marathon if you don’t even own a pair of running shoes” You don’t have to take on the world in a day. Set realistic goals for yourself, write those goals down and follow through.

3. The Buddy System- Let others help you; you don’t have to take this journey alone. We need to be accountable to someone, find someone who is taking the same journey you are. Commit your goals to them and allow them to do the same. When we have others accountable to us, it’s so much easier to be accountable to ourselves.

4. Food- Create a food diary and keep track what you are eating. Dr. Terry Simpson has a great tip: Using your cell phone take pictures of everything you eat throughout the day, take a picture of your meal before you eat it then another after your done. This will give you clarity as to what you are really consuming throughout the day.

5. Exercise- If you have not already committed to an exercise program, and then you are not going to achieve the results you want from your “WLS” journey. Find something you love and yes I mean love. If you choose an exercise program you dread, guess what is going to happen, you are going to make excuses as to why you can’t do it. By finding something you love you will be excited to do it.

6. Self Care- We always want to take care of everyone else first, we always put ourselves on the back burner. Honestly would you treat your children, friends and family the way you treat yourself? I’m guessing no. We want to give our best to our children, friends and family. But guess what by placing ourselves on the back burner we are not giving them our best. Take some time to enjoy the things you like to do. Go to the movies with your girlfriends, go play a round of golf, reconnect with an old hobby, just find something that gives back to you.

7. Purge the negative- If you have something or someone who is bringing negative energy into your life; purge it. We have so much going on in our lives we don’t need any negative outsiders bringing us down. Negativity just drains you and sucks up your energy, make a decision it’s going to stop.

8. Celebrate the positive- Look at all you have accomplished to date. You have made changes, you’ve lost weight, went down a size or two or three. Remember how good you felt when you accomplished small milestones; think how good you are going to feel when you accomplish big milestones.

9. Follow up- If it has been a while since you have seen your surgeon, make an appointment. Don’t give me the excuse he/she is going to yell at you because you have gained weight. Go in with the mind set you are coming clean and you are ready to commit to the process. Your surgeon works for you, you are paying them to “Care” for you so go get the care you need.

10. Coaching- If you still think this overwhelming contact me to set up a complimentary coaching session. I know it can be overwhelming; but with a game plan in place you can turn this around. I can help you find out what is blocking you from the success you need and deserve.

Edited February 12, 2009 by CoachCher

[Nobody's Girl 0]

I am guilty of sefl-sabotage. Not because I am afraid of the changes that come with losing weight, but because I just love food and eating. I miss being able to eat food, it makes me feel good. I sabotage myself by drinking Water with my meals so that I can get more food down. I don't know why I do this, but it has halted my weight loss, and I need to make a goal to not drink while I eat so I can get back on track.

[CoachCher 1]

Hey Nobody's Girl!

We all love food and eating that's what led us to the OR. Ask yourself is food and eating more important than being healthy.

I still eat my favorite foods, I just had to adjust my diet to allow for this. I follow the 6/1 rule. For six days I eat well then on the the 7th day I eat what I want with no guilt or regrets.

Your right drinking with your meals will sabotage your efforts in a heart beat.

Remind yourself of all the reasons you had the surgery to begin with and then make a plan to get back on the band wagon. You can do this, you are worthy of success!!

Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

[cannis1223 0]

Wow, reading this has really opened my eyes! Recently I have been unable to "get back on track!" I just made the move from plus-size pants to misses and then I can stop eating! After reading this I see that I'm not the only one going through this!

I'm so glad I logged on today. I need to stop beating myself up and making excuses and just start fresh!

ThANK YOU

[falloutgal 0]

Thank you CoachCher, I am coming up on having my band three years now, and you hit the nail right on the head!! I thought I was the only one with these feelings. Its nice to be noticed but I think I can live without the comments of so-called friends!! Also my eating buddies have seemed to disappear!! I was really very depressed and I think my surgeon thought I was nuts!!! THANKS AGAIN!!

[CoachCher 1]

Hi Cannis,

Excuses is what got us to where we are. You are so worthy and deserving of success. Dust yourself off and get back on that bandwagon. I believe in you, You can do it!!

[CoachCher 1]

Hey Falloutgal,

You make a great point! It's not just us that sabotage ourselves, the ones we surround ourselves with can contribute as well. I'm glad you realize you don't need the negative energy in your life, purge it honey. Make a plan and get to getting :thumbup:

[annaboxer 0]

PLease Help......... Had op in Nov 08, and haven't lost one pound....... OK I haven't gained any weight, which is good, but I was hoping to lose, should I be able to eat, or am I just not suppose to, should it be the band that stops me, or my will power.............had two fills total, 5cc. this evening I ate baked potato, chicken and veg, maybe 21/2 + cups, and had a drink, cranberry. have I stretched by pouch?? has my band moved, was it ever fitted right??? I should have been able to lose from the start.......shouldn't I?????

HELP.........have I harmed myself, do I have any hope???

waiting in anticipation for advise.

Anna

[CoachCher 1]

Hi Anna,

Ok take a deep breath in and out, okay much better.

You have not stretched your pouch; you just have not reached your proper restriction level. With the band it's a process it doesn't happen overnight. This is the part of the journey everyone hates.

Until you actually reach your sweet spot you should be watching what you eat and how much you eat. Once you reach proper restriction the band will stop you. However if you eat processed foods, or soft foods the band will "NOT" stop you. The more processed the food is, the easier it is to eat with the band.

Your band has not moved and I'm sure it is properly placed.

The first 6-8 weeks is not about weight loss as much as it is learning how to eat with your new tool.

I hope this helps. Email me anytime if you have questions.

[annaboxer 0]

Hi CoachCher

Thank you so much for your prompt response.

Your thread really made me think, and made me feel more positive.

Your reply to my message, makes good sense, and I'm sure understanding/ beleiving that should help, thank you.

It's bad choices that's got me here, I need to learn how to make good choices, Iam a very positive person, except I find it hard to substain positive attitude where food is concerned.

I delayed my op for a year, to be sure I was doing the right thing, Now I have undergone surgury, a massive step. WHY can't I commit to the change, I am desperate to, but it certainly feels like something in my head is blocking my actions. Thank you so much for your time. I wll definately be in touch again, if you don't mind. again, thank you.

Anna.

[twirl 0]

I do all of the above -- I got used to not drinking with meals and then I started the habit again-- WHY---

I eat what I want only so much less that I think it is okay - I drink too many fluids- I am on dialysis and should only have 50 ounces of fluids a day but I drink more than that---- I love tea and water----

[Carrie_C 9]

I am also guilty of this. I had surgery in May and I did really good at first. But for the last few months, I have really gotten off track and I eat way too much junk now. I have only gained a few pounds, but it is still depressing. I also have lost motivation to exercise. I always have a stupid excuse. I am going to see the surgeon Monday, and I really dread getting on the scales there. It will be very embarrassing for them to see I haven't lost anything in a few months.

[lindata 1]

I am also guilty of this. I had surgery in May and I did really good at first. But for the last few months, I have really gotten off track and I eat way too much junk now. I have only gained a few pounds, but it is still depressing. I also have lost motivation to exercise. I always have a stupid excuse. I am going to see the surgeon Monday, and I really dread getting on the scales there. It will be very embarrassing for them to see I haven't lost anything in a few months.

Ditto this for me too. I self-sabotage anytime I lose weight and I have absolutely no idea. I love the attention, I like talking about my weightloss, I don't mind the work to get me there. The junk food calls to me and I just keep eating it. I've gone through the whole "why" thing and I just have absolutely no idea why I do this. Really.

[jacobsmomyatta 0]

i have done all the same things u have done (i even cancelled my fill appt!!:ohmy:) & i wonder why also & i thought i was the only one!!! appreciate this thread & hope we ALL get back on track!!!

[CoachCher 1]

Hi Twirl,

You have taken the first step by recognizing what you are doing. It's a learned skill to not drink with your meals, you can do it. Take it one meal at a time and tell yourself you are not going to drink with this meal. You can do this, it's not difficult I promise.