When is support not really support?

[El Diablo 1]

woot woot, ignore me!

[*susan* 1,709]

Ok, you have already been warned once by Laura, this is the last warning. Take the personal fights to pm or I will close this thread.

Get back on topic. If you cannot have a reasonable, respectable conversation without attacking someone, then perhaps it is best to back off.

Thank you.

[El Diablo 1]

Thank you for stepping in, I turned the other cheek as much as possible.

Back on topic, I feel the spouse who chose the procedure should accept responsibility for any changes in the family dynamic. I think to blame the DH is just an excuse for failure.

[*susan* 1,709]

Dan, I believe the OP said she was not experiencing or blaming her spouse for any failure. She was simply stating she would like him to be a little more supportive of her by understanding what she can and cannot handle in her life at this time. She has not asked him to change his lifestyle, she is simply requesting that he understand and support her in what she must do right now to lose weight. I don't see where she was "blaming" him for anything.

[El Diablo 1]

Oh, I don't see that at all! The starting post described her "raking DH" her description

[HeatherO 7]

eeegads . . . I just realized that this thread is in general lapband support and not rants and raves.

I have no idea what the newbies might be thinking as they read this thread, but this is definitely not par for the course of the usual LBT support threads.

[Marmite_crumpet 0]

I have no idea what the newbies might be thinking as they read this thread, but this is definitely not par for the course of the usual LBT support threads.

Well, I'm a newbie and I'm enjoying it!

It's not as if anyone here is knocking the band and how it works/doesn't work. Those are the threads that worry the newbies (in my experience).

This is just a good old fashioned scrap :scared2:

[coolcrystal 1]

I thought it was quite enjoyable!! sorry :-( towards the end it was sort of flirty almost.. hee hee. like in those old movies where they hate each other, but then they fall inlove and get together!! :-)

[BethFromVA 5]

I thought it was quite enjoyable!! sorry :-( towards the end it was sort of flirty almost.. hee hee. like in those old movies where they hate each other, but then they fall inlove and get together!! :-)

Who, me and devil Dan? Yeah, um... NO. :thumbup:

:thumbup:

[El Diablo 1]

I thought it was quite enjoyable!! sorry :-( towards the end it was sort of flirty almost.. hee hee. like in those old movies where they hate each other, but then they fall inlove and get together!! :-)

I think Beth does dig me. She never will admit it of course ^see above^ I think we should be lap band buddies, PM me for my email Beth and we'll be BFF

Edited February 17, 2009 by El Diablo

[jack&kota 0]

You hit the nail on the head when you said you are not at your sweet spot. My DH is a chef so his life revolves around food. We bonded over food from the beginning of our relationship. Luckily he puts my needs first and is willing to bend in quite a bit of areas. Now that I am finally (6 months out) at my sweet spot, I am no longer bothered about his love affair with food.

I hear in your tone a real fear of this not working, probably because nothing has worked before. I am sure this translate to stress. Remember you can do this. Your determination is obvious.

Remind you husband it will not be like this forever, compromise like the previous poster suggested, and find some not food activities you guys enjoy so that you can bond again.

[BethFromVA 5]

You hit the nail on the head when you said you are not at your sweet spot. My DH is a chef so his life revolves around food. We bonded over food from the beginning of our relationship. Luckily he puts my needs first and is willing to bend in quite a bit of areas. Now that I am finally (6 months out) at my sweet spot, I am no longer bothered about his love affair with food.

I hear in your tone a real fear of this not working, probably because nothing has worked before. I am sure this translate to stress. Remember you can do this. Your determination is obvious.

Remind you husband it will not be like this forever, compromise like the previous poster suggested, and find some not food activities you guys enjoy so that you can bond again.

Saying it sounds like fear and stress due to that fear is fair. More than fair, actually, specifically because that has been my downfall in the past. I know my weaknesses, and I think because, for me, this surgery is a last chance, I get scared that I will fail myself again.

It's like if you are doing your best to walk a straight line, you don't need your SO to throw boulders in your path. It doesn't mean I'm still not responsible for walking that straight line, but somebody who loves you should not be tossing the boulders. It's a two-pronged issue.

I did take him out for dinner for Valentine's, but I went to a seafood place that we had never been to before. I made good choices (lost 1.5 pounds right afterward), and the portions were small by restaurant standards, which was just enough for me.

I think maybe soon I could go for us going out every other Saturday or something -- so long as we don't repeat what we have always done in the past.

[El Diablo 1]

I think Beth does dig me. She never will admit it of course ^see above^ I think we should be lap band buddies, PM me for my email Beth and we'll be BFF

Can someone PM me? I think it's broken, yeah it must be broken. My PM system is defective. To anyone (Beth) who may have sent me a PM while my PM system was down, please resend, waiting, waiting, waiting....