Self Sabotaging

[osangriared 0]

Hi,

I was banded Jan 2008. I've lost 42 pounds so far to date. My highest weight was 310 and I've lost weight 3 years prior and reached a weight of 238, but regained it all and went back to 284. Since having the surgery I reached the weight of 238 again August of 2008, but this time I recognized my self sabotaging behavior. I went to see the weight loss therapist affliated with my doctor, and met with the nutritionist last week. The therapist has helped me realize that I've made myself believe that I'm not worthy of love and I'm hiding behind my weight. In the last 2 weeks I've taken off 10 of the pounds that I gained and I have 6 more to go to reach that scary weight of 238 again. The band is a tool, but getting rid of the head trauma is an everyday struggle. Being at 238 and going from a size 30/32 to a 16/18 changed the way men look at me. I'm 46 and I haven't been a size 16 since I was in my 20's and that's the last time I had a relationship. Reducing my weight did give me more confidence that attracted attention, but not knowing how to deal with it caused me to put on 16 pounds. Has anyone else experienced this?

[Jodi_620 37]

I just wanted to reply not only to congratulate your for your excellent weight loss but also to commend you for not giving in when things got tough, for going out and finding answers to why you were sabotaging your loss. You are going to do great and in the end you will be physically and mentally healthier.

:smile:

[osangriared 0]

Thank you so much for your reply and your encouraging comments, it is an every day task for me to love myself first, but it is a task that I'm working on turning into a joy. You have done great on your journey, I would love to have 80+ gone...congratulations.

[lindar172 1]

Congratulations on both the weight loss and finding the reason you were sabatoging yourself. I know I have used weight as a saftey rope for a long time, but I want to see my great grand children grow up and I need to fight them. I do belive that I am going to see if there is someone around here I can talk to about this issue. Thank you for sharing.

[suzyt 0]

I think I may be in the same boat...Five years ago I lost weight until I got to 202. Everyone was so complimentary and I started getting attention I didn't know how to handle. Last year, I weighed 294 and I am working my way down, but I am very fearful that I will sabotage myself and stay where I am at.

[osangriared 0]

Working one/one with the therapist has helped. I was attending the once a month group sessions, but I needed a little more focus on my issues. We've had 3 sessions, but they have been ground breaking ones.