raging anger and completly discouraged, who me?

[gentlespirit 1]

Those damn scales can really do a number on us, can't they? I am SO sorry you're so down. Your posts have been such a blessing to me so many times as I start this journey, and I wish I could do something for you to help. But other than sending positive thoughts and hugs, I guess there isn't. I'm glad you didn't delete all your posts...they are wonderful. I've had the same thoughts about being a failure when the scale doesn't move (or goes up). And no matter what we tell ourselves, we keep basing our feelings about ourselves on the blasted things.

You are an amazing woman, and you will get through this. If you can't be strong right now, lean on those of us here who have leaned on you and your wisdom in the past. We're all here to help each other.

Hugs and good thoughts...

Emily

[Angeleyes 1]

Vines..... here I am reading your posts and feeling much the same, I have lost 23 pounds since April 5. Had my 3rd fill on Nov 21 and as of this morning when I weighted I have lost .50 pound since then. Each time I get a fill I eat less but it never seems to be a small enough amount. But on the other hand if I think of this loss as two sticks of butter and put them in the waist band of my jeans and them take them out. I realize that I am proud of even that small loss.

I have started walking twice a day on breaks here at work and hope that may change something. Let me know what is working for you even if it is a very small thing. We need to Celebrate the small stuff.

[ReneBean 3]

Oh, Crystal!

All I can do is offer you the big hugs. Don't delete your posts and don't leave us. We love you and we need you. (screw what you want, WE want you! lol)

I am thinking THIN thoughts for you.

MMMMM Vines in her Belly Dancing get-up with a flat tummy... Yeah, Baby!!

;]

[vinesqueen 2]

I am not actually givign up on my band. I just have to face that it isn't going to work for me like it does for other people. And this has been incredibly painful.

Being banded, and being a good little bandster is not going to help me lose any significant amount of weight. It has not, and I don't see that changing in the future. But by facing this, I am able to move on. I am able to take this to doctors and DEMAND answers. I will DEMAND they try me on thyroid medication, even if I am low normal. Hell, I'm not normal anyother way to begin with.

Maybe they will be able to figure out how to give me a normal body temp, my normal is 97.2, not 98.6. Maybe this is a function of low thyroid. I don't know, but I'm going to start to DEMAND answers.

I have been so stressed and borderline depressed these last couple of weeks. I have one more easy final tomorrow, marketing. After work this afternoon I came home and went directly to bed and slept for 8 hours. My accounting final was particularly brutal but hopefully I did well enough in the class.

I'm sure that my caloric intake has not been high enough, so for the last couple of days I've been "stuffing" myself with soft foods that dont' fight my band. I say "stuffing" because I know my sense of proportions is way off, and eating a 1/4 of food seems like way too much. For instance, I had a 1/4 cup of trim cottage cheese for dinner, half a serving. 50 calories, and I felt like this was too much bulk.

I've only lost one full size. Yes, all my pants are now clown pants, since I've lost a lot of weight in my thighs and butt, but my belly refuses to play fair. Maybe all I need is a Tummy Tuck

Oh no, I don't like my warhammers very sweet, some sweet, but 150 - 250 calories is not a zillion, especially since I don't have them very oftern, and they are frequently what I'll have for Breakfast. (bad me, but sometimes too tight for anything else.) And I gave all coffee up for over a month thinking that the extra calories in the coffee was having an impact on my weight loss. (I went to tea sweatened with spenda and 1% milk) but I didn't lose a single pound that mounth.

Now Jack, the potato-spore theory sounds plausable at this point, as does the theory that I'm absorbing too many calories though photosynthisis. I am from Seattle after all, and all this direct and indirect light in the High Mountian Desert of SE ID has to have an effect.

[live2canoe 1]

The potato spores are working in concert with the photosynthesis solar particles. It's all a part of the evil conspiracy dictated by McDonald's (the largest buyer of potatoes in Idaho! - coincidence???? I think not.

Oh - it's all so clear now!!! Why didn't we think of this before???

((((Vines - my spiritual leader)))))

[Sunta 5]

Hi,

I was just reading your post and thinking maybe you should try upping your calories for a while, then cutting down again. Upping your calories alot will jolt your metabolism into action. I would try upping them to maybe 1,500 or so for like two days, then dropping down again. Milkshakes, ice cream, or even those weight gaining powders will do. It sounds like your metabolism is shut down and isn't burning anything. I remember that my doctor gave me this advice and it would work wonders. I would always lose when I would up my calories for just a day or two. In fact, he recommended a diet where you eat 1,000 for three days, 1,200 for two days, 1,800 for two days, then repeat the whole cylce. When I could stick to it it worked the best. Your metabolism needs a jolt. Also, have you tried sustained exercise where you get your heart rate up to your target range and then sustain that range for 30 minutes every day? I bet if you try regular intensive exercise and upping your calories for two days then drop back down, you will see that scale move.

[HarleyNana 10]

OH VQ, where are you?????

Updates please.

[vinesqueen 2]

Sorry, I've been traveling, and now I'm home again! Yay!

Since I'm traveling, I'm using my laptop and for some reason, I just can't stay logged onto LBT long enough to post anything longer than a sentence. And when do I just write a sentence???

So, yesterday I got to my morning doctor appointment, fasted as directed. Well, After I get there, fighting through the rush hour traffic, they tell me that I didn't have an apointment but that I should come back later in the week, since my doc wasn't even in the office on Mondays. I was very angry, since that just wasn't going to work for me. I was there for answers, and I was going to get answers.

Well, long story short, the new doc I saw looked at my weight loss chart that I so thoughtfully provided, listened to my Band song and dance and agreed that I should go on thyroid medications, depending on what the tests showed.

I'll have the results next week, and will start the meds next week.

Today I go to my clinic and have some of this fill pulled out, since I'm so freaking tight.

I know that there are people out there that are perfectly happy on 700 calories a day, but I feel like crap, and I am having trouble mentally adjusting to eating only tablespoons at a time, especially when I get stuck all the freaking time. It's not good when you are afraid to eat because you know it is going to cause pain. Of course, entire diet empires have been built on avoiding food because it cause pain either physically or emotionially.

It's pretty interesting. Since I decided to face my situation, how just banding and excersizing alone is not going to help me lose the weight I want, I feel so much more peaceful. I've only been obsessive about my food a few times, which is quite an improvement.

I have done everything I personally could, and still wasn't losing weight. Because I determined that this was something beyond me, time to call in every single professional I can to help.

[HarleyNana 10]

I'm so happy to hear you're boosting the calories, 700 IMO was wayyy to low.

[vinesqueen 2]

Well, considering everything, okay. I don't have a leak, so that is very very good news. I had .5 ccs taken out of my band, they want to give it a rest because being super tight didn't do any good. You would think that at a month of 700 calories I should have lost 10 pounds at least. But I'm only down 1.5. So I guess I would have been one of the survivors of the Donnar Party.

I'll start on Thyroid medication next week, once they get the results from the tests. The doc said that even if I was on the high end of normal they were going to put me on the thyroid medication.

The fill nurse gave me a whole packet for tracking my meals and my calories, and the therapist in the office took them all away from me She said that I'm only supposed to eat right now. That I've been making great choices, but the band wasn't doing its job. That there had to be something else, maybe thyroid levels, maybe cortisol levels. They are going to see how I do on just a light and reasonable fill with the the meds, and send me for additional testing if those meds don't do any good.

The first thing I did after getting some of my fill out, was to go have a burrito at Taco Bell. I ate most of an entire burrito, and I felt soooo good afterwards. For the last couple of nights my entire dinner was 1 jalipeno popper, 2 nuggets of General Tso chicken, and 2 tablespoons of fried rice. my 4th meal was the creamed spinach, that I PB'd up half of.

[Anwyn 0]

I haven't seen this thread in a while, don't know how I missed it... I was up late last night thinking about you. I don't know why, but all of a sudden it popped into my head - it has to be her thyroid, lol. Whatever the diagnosis, I'm so glad you've taken this to the doctor. I hated to see you starving yourself on 700 cals/day. Good luck Vines - we're all pulling for you! Big Huggies! (as my daughter would say).

[bandayed 0]

Vines -- I'm with Delara -- not one to be overly mushy so I have to say that it sux when you're doing the right stuff and it's not working. Just think of all those other issues & meds though-- they have to have an effect on your system right? And when you decided to get banded, wasn't it to be more healthry? Hello?!?!? You can friggin breathe now, and did I hear you say run? I have a vague recollection of that from my childhood! Hang in there, do something crazy and fun, and F the scale, you bought a large jacket! I haven't done tht since High School! Count you blessing and screw the scale!