Fat kids?

[Jachut 487]

How many have overweight or obese kids too?

I never know which is the best way to tackle this problem. My kids arent fat but my oldest son most definitely has a lot of potential to be. He's pretty lazy and he loves to eat. I've found at time when I've been rock bottom and just not motivated in any way to look after myself properly then my kids' diets suffer too.

Over the past year I've made the utmost effort to feed my kids well, as a family we eat really well. I'm quite strict with what they're only allowed to eat on a very infrequent basis, takeaway, lollies etc. We never have biscuits or cakes in the house, but they do like their school lunch orders and the school offers only rubbish, they do eat chips for their morning tea, overall I think they have a good balance between getting everything they need and still having the stuff other kids get.

They play lots of sports too.

But on the other had at 10 and 8 both boys know the concept of dieting, they like to weigh themselves, they compare their weight to others. Last night when we all went swimming and Doug and I took a turn each to mind the kids for 40 mins while the other did some laps, both boys did laps in the big pool saying "I'm going to get skinny too" rather than play in the smaller pools with their sister.

Is it even possible to raise healthy well adjusted kids with NO weight issues and NO tendency to connect weight with self worth. Can they grow up without the concept of "good" and "bad" foods? Are we raising our children even from toddlerhood to have food and weight issues?

[Parvathi 2]

While my daughter isn't overweight, she has lots of potential. She's the shortest in her class and a bit pudgy.

She's quite active and loves to play, but she can put away the food as well. At 7, she's decided, bugger the kids meal when we go out and goes straight for the huge serve of whatever.

I try to educate her on what's good for her vs what's bad for her. She knows meats, veggies, fruits good - breads, crisps, choccies bad. But I know her well enough to know that when faces with the option of an apple or a breakaway bar, she'll choose the breakaway no worries.

I know what you mean about the lunch orders being rubbish! She's only allowed one on Fridays, but she wants the sausage roll with twisties and a fudge brownie lol. They've just introduced Sushi Fridays at her school, which she would love, but they load them with wasabi?! LOL

It sucks, cause I don't want to see her go through the same struggles I went through as a child/teenager/young lady - but at the same time, I don't want to deprive her of the fun stuff.

[fee 0]

my oldest son eats alot but he does alot of sport.He is 12 and i think hes just going through a growth spurt(i hope).

my youngest daughter is a little pudding and i hope she loses it and its only puppy fat like my mum used to say to me....but mine never went away.

I have been overweight all my damn life and im sick of it

i dont want my 4 children going through what i have been with weight issues, been picked on called every name under the sun.

I want them to be healthy and live a happy normal life but im not sure if that will happen because of my weight and there dads bot exactly skinny but not as big as me.

[loopylou 0]

My mother was anorexic and denied me any kind of "naughty food", but my brother was allowed it. When I was old enough I spent every cent of my pocket money on food - all of it junk. Today ( 261 pounds, 10 days post-op and 31 yrs old) I still connect chocolate, lollies, fizzy drink, ice-cream, chips and cheesecake with love, freedom (independence) and acceptance. Sitting down to eat nothing but a salad or other kind of healthy meal makes me want to cry. The salads seems to look up at me and say "You are fat, you are worthless, everybody hates you and thats why you have to eat a yucky salad." Strangely, I love fruit and veg but will never eat them when I could eat something else, I may crave the watermelon but I will go for the chocolate everytime because of what it means. (You may also be interested to know that my brother who was allowed to eat whatever he wanted has never had a weight problem.)

[lovecats85 2]

Kind of unrelated but I do worry that the band will make me have fatter kids - studies show that moms who don't get enough calories while preggo have kids that tend to be overweight as adults. Well, when I get my band I will just get an unfill when I'm preggo and drink milkshakes!

[HotLikeMe 0]

My 10 year old daughter is already overweight - she's the tallest and largest in her class. About 3rd grade she almost doubled in size from 2nd and has been on an upward track ever since. She is pretty sedentary - doesn't like to go outside cuz it's too hot (She sounds exactly like me.) My sons (5 and 3) are also big - not fat yet - just big. My grandmother, mother, and myself were not overweight until we became adults - specifically after having children - then all of us got fat. My mother-in-law, however, has always been very skinny - she is constantly nagging my daughter about her weight - then hands her a bowl of icecream because her feelings got hurt. When I was 10 I was normal - even skinny compared to others. My daughter, now, weighs more than I did when I met her father - at age 23. I recently found out that at school they're allowed to go back for seconds, thirds ... and apparently she has - every day. I knew I wasn't the only "bad" influence - but I thought schools were supposed to monitor these kinds of things too. I wasn't allowed to go back for seconds... at school. I've gotten my 10 and 5 year olds into soccer - this helps some - but it's not year round only a few months a year. I have some Snacks in the house - but try not to bring in too many - cuz as soon as I get em home - they want to eat the entire box, bag or whatever it is all at once. Lately, I've bought all sugar free stuff (per my doctor's orders) and they've liked it - hopefully, this will help alleviate some of the problems. I know the most important thing is to get off my big butt and get them all moving . Now that I have my band and losing weight that's exactly what I intend to do.

[Mariposa Bella 3]

I too struggle with this issue everyday. I have three children and sure don't want to teach them all my bad habits and have them grow up with weight issues like myself. My girls just had their physicals and they are at a perfect weight and on the taller side, but my oldest sure loves to eat (takes after me). I have to monitor her if not she would eat half a pizza if I let her. What greatly concerns me is that I've seen ehr sneak in the kitchen to put food in her mouth and not let me see. Very scary..that she tries to hide her eating from me. My second daughter (4) asks me if what ever she's eating will make her fat or will make her healthy, and this concerns me. How do you teach your children to be aware of eating healthy without turning a four year old into being so obsessed with what makes you fat and what doesn't????? My little boy is a skinny, scronny butt, he can wolf down anything and not gain an ounce, high metabolism, the pediatrician says. Sure doesn't get it from me. What can I do??? I am so concerned with my girls suffering like I did through my teen and youth years that I keep them super active. My oldest dances (she's 9) two hours a week, has tumbling once a week for 1 1/2 hours and does cheerleading the other two days for 1 1/2 hours also. So she has a full week of activities. My second daughter at four also keeps the same schedule, except she only dances one hour a week. Is this overkill on my part??? They are aware that I have the band, well my oldest is, and that I had all this plastic surgery, am I just setting them up for a life of food issues? Wow, there is so much. I need to speak to their pediatrician at their next visit or do some online research. I sure don't want to make them anorexic, bulemic or overconcerned with dieting all the time. Help me...

[j_war06 0]

Well, I am an obese teenager and looking back at what my parents could have done, all I can think of is this: tell my grandmother no McDonalds, icecream, or junk food except on very special occasions, dont leave me at my grandparents conveniant store with an unlimited tab, and make me eat three meals a day and give me a healthy snack after school. Feed me healthy foods instead of fatty ones. The problem here is that up until I was oh about 7 or 8 my parents were POOR the very definition. They got married young and neither one had a college education or a well paying job. It was enough to live on. Healthy food is expensive, while free hamburger meat and macaroni and cheese and ranch style Beans are all cheap. That is what we had probably 5 days out of the week. Mom and dad were not bog people at first, now they have become obese (especially mom). I pretty much took over my own eating at age 9 and started making my own choices and destroyed myself in that way. This is when I was staying mostly alone because my babysitter slept ALLLLL day and I refused to go to daycare. I was brought up in a world that said EAT, but if you dont then you will be skinny. So basically I am morbidly obese and I eat very little and am not active at all. I am an only child and never had anyone to play with but adults, and I didnt play pretend, even today playing with babysitting clients I cant "pretend", instead I played cards or board games or did crafts with the adults, so I was treated like an adult all my life. I have always been big, and unless I get this lap-band I will probably stay big. I weakness is McDonalds, I hope the band will tell me psychologically that it will make me sick. Whenever I would get shots at the Doctor's or anything like that I would get a happy meal. Even today I treat myself to one after I go to the Doctor.

Frankly, it all relates to pragmatism, the belief that society and enviroment shape a person into who and what they are. If you show them how to eat, show them how to be active, and the results of if you arent, and encourage them to do these things, then I think your kids will be alright. Just set an example and dont scare them into being skinny, because in reality you will make them fat. Just love them and encourage them to be healthy.

[Jachut 487]

Yes, I think activity is the key. Fighting kids tendencies to plonk in front of TV, computer or gameboy is very hard. I dont know quite what the culture is over there, but so many people these days in Australia will not let their children outside alone to play for fear of what may happen.

We're very lucky that we living in a new area, our house is only 10 years old, the way they design housing estates these days is pretty safe and our area, as new ones tend to be, is FULL of kids. We're nowhere near busy suburbs near the city. So my kids are lucky to be out on their bikes or blades from dawn till dusk (although I have to physically remove Fraser from the computer chair).

I find it hard sometimes and very tiring but we are out every single day after school at sporting activities, both boys play basketball and football and they have matches every week plus training. I know lots of kids these days whose parents work and simply cannot do this for them.

Luckily at school, school lunches are not provided in Australia so we're generally in complete control of what they eat.

But its the quantities they can get through that astound me - yes entire BAGS or BOXES of whatever it is! They just dont know when to stop!

[Desi80 1]

my daughter is a little chunky, i've decided that once i'm banding she is going to go on a similar diet. No more sodas, high sugar juice, it will be Water, crystal light, etc. No more Cookies, fruit Snacks ets, except on a rare occasion (rare meaning once a month)

My local junior high school has a paved race track, so when i go for my walks , i'll put her on her bike or scooter so she can exercise as well. Hopefully this well help her maintain her wait as she grows and she'll thin out a bit. I know she will learn healthy habits from me, so i'm going to show her now.

[Jachut 487]

That's the kind of stuff we do - family walks, family swim sessions. I know it will help to build healthy habits, but I really hope we're not also sending the message that the worst thing a person can be is fat!

[Desi80 1]

well, i'm going to be honest. TO ME, being fat is BAD, no like a murder or child molester bad, but like smoking bad. Being fat changes your quality of life. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, joint pain, bladder problems, diabeties,(the list goes on and on) are all BAD for you. Not that you are a bad person, but the fat itself is bad. That doesn't mean i want my kids to aim to be stick then, but being HEALTHY is important, and to be healthy you have to exercise and eat right, and its better to get into those habits while the kids are healthy and able to, and not 20 years down the road when you get winded walking to the mail box.

[j_war06 0]

I do want all of you to realize that just getting your kids away from food as a reward for doing stuff is okay. Activity is EXTREMELY important, but make sure that it is something that they want to do, there are lots of programs that dont involve outside physical activity. I myself just dont like to be outside, I feel like I cant move and that instead of weight 240 I weight 1200lbs and just have NO energy, and have always felt that way. Find a local 4-H program and get involved in that (PSST there is a foods and Nutrition project available in 4-H so they can learn how to eat healthy). Also dont forget that learning to use the computer is a very important skill and dont ALWAYS drag them away, just if they are looking so bored they are desperate to look up anything to do just to be on the computer, or if they have been sitting there for over an hour. Let them make their own decisions, but guide them well and set examples as well as stepping in if anything gets out of control. Remember, they will not always live with you and be under your supervision.

[La_madam 20]

Im fortunate all 3 of my boys ages 17, 13, 11 are skinny as rails, and tall they are built like their father and have his metabolism

[Jachut 487]

Desi80 you want fat to be a health issue, not a moral one. I never want my kids to feel worthless if they do get heavy and I would never want to see them judge someone else that way. I also want them to have a healthy attitude to food, not a morbid fear of it.

Its a very difficult balance to strike isnt it?