Lap Band surgery worth it?

[leelevy 0]

Hi, I am a REALLy concerned wife. My husband is scheduled for the lap band surgery at the end of this month, and he was all psyched up about it until he had his nutrition and psych counseling this week. Now he (and I )are having second thoughts.

We understand about the whole 10-10-10 liquid/smashed foods thing, and we are ok with that. But apparently he was told that he will "never eat the same again". He was literally told that he wont be able to put down more than a few bites of food in a restaurant ever again. This RELALY DEPRESSED him, and seeing how upset he was, I am not sure this is the right thing for him to do. We are paying cash for this and the last thing I want is for him to lose weight and be DEPRESSED for the rest of his life.

Can any of you please tell me your eating experiences after the lap band, any details/comments GREATLY appreciated, thanks much to all of you!

[bigpapa2 0]

Well first i should say hello..my name is Ty. I got my band 7/23/08 and I love it! I have lost over 100 lbs and i feel like I have my old life back. My Dr. has taken me off all my meds and i am enjoying moving around without the old pains I had before. i am able to do more with my family and my moods have improved since being banded. i am saying all of this because, I wanted to let you know what i have gained from not being able to eat so much. I dont miss the food as much any more. i am lucky in the fact that i can eat almost anything including bread. i just cant eat as much. i go out to eat with my wife and kids all the time. the difference is, I eat a nice salad and Soup now. I have chicken or fish and take what i couldnt eat home in a doggy bag. I had crabs tails the other day and it bummed me out a little because i couldnt eat more than 1 1/2 legs with a potatoe. i was upset until i weighed in the next day and saw i had a weight lose. I must say i do stay away from fast food rest. If i do go to one i have the sandwitch with no bun. No fries, no bun, no soda. So to answer your question i can eat what i want just smaller portions. I try my best to stay away from the posta's, white bread and lots of carbs. i hope this helped a little. The band has made my life so much better.

[lellow 1,713]

It really depends on how he views food. To me, the lapband did what I needed it to do, which is to satisfy me sooner. So I don't NEED to eat a huge plate of food to be satisfied now.

I did find the idea depressing too initially, but 6 months out, my love affair with food no longer exists. I eat to survive now. I eat only when I'm hungry. And when I go to restaurants, I'm NOT the one scoffing my food down like there's no tomorrow anymore, I eat less than anyone else there, and actually feel more 'normal' for behaving like that.

I still enjoy food, but it no longer rules my life.

So if he's not prepared to give up his bond with food, then yes he's got to think about whether the surgery is for him. Because it's only one part of the bigger picture.

To me, it was completely and totally worth it.

[alatina 1]

ok heres the thing-he will most likely move past his love affair with food-I have.Its just not what it used to be-I was banded a few yrs ago and no he will never eat with joyful reckless abandon again..ever.its a hard road and not always fun but you realize food for many of us was replacing living life-we ate instead of did things-i was 214 and felt unhappy and lazy-now im healthy again 130 pounds and yes i often miss some foods but im glad to be active and self confident again.do i miss stuffing a big yummy burger and fries into my mouth?yeah sometimes-would i rather do that than have the band?nope!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Hi, I am a REALLy concerned wife. My husband is scheduled for the lap band surgery at the end of this month, and he was all psyched up about it until he had his nutrition and psych counseling this week. Now he (and I )are having second thoughts.

We understand about the whole 10-10-10 liquid/smashed foods thing, and we are ok with that. But apparently he was told that he will "never eat the same again". He was literally told that he wont be able to put down more than a few bites of food in a restaurant ever again. This RELALY DEPRESSED him, and seeing how upset he was, I am not sure this is the right thing for him to do. We are paying cash for this and the last thing I want is for him to lose weight and be DEPRESSED for the rest of his life.

Can any of you please tell me your eating experiences after the lap band, any details/comments GREATLY appreciated, thanks much to all of you!

Lee

No he won't be able to eat the 16 oz steak loaded baked potato - Soup - salad & dessert after being banded - but isn't that what got us in the posititon to need the band in the 1st place.

I can eat 4 oz of a good steak (filet migon from costco) 1/2 of a reg baked potato and some veggies - If I go to a mex restaurant - I use to eat the basket of chips - taco, enchillada rice and Beans - and sometime would add a relleno to that plate.. Now I go out and eat a few chips & salsa - 3/4 of my taco and few bites of my Beans - I bring home the enchillada and have it for lunch the next day.

Is it worth it - HELL YES for me it was worth it - I am loss 100 lbs in a year - I feel 10 yrs younger - the quality of my life has improved ten fold. I now hopefully have extended the years I have left on this earth (God willing)

food is our drug of choice - and it's a very hard thing to give up - do I miss it ya sometimes I do miss sitting down and pigging out - just like a person who quits smoking misses it - but it wasn't good for them so they gave it up - or like an alcholic missing drinking or a druggie misses their drugs but then know that it was killing them ruining their lives so they chose to give it up... Food is that for us..

How much you can eat will depend on how tight your band is - I usually eat 1 cup for Breakfast & lunch and dinner maybe 1 to 1/2 cup.

I now eat like a normal person - I eat normal portion sizes - I eat healthy & I exercise - ya for me I can no longer eat a submarine sandwich - but I could eat the inners just not the bread - I am lucky I can still eat most food that give other banders problems - shrimp Pasta rice and even a little bread.

The band is the tool that I needed to help get control of my life - but it only does 25% of the work the other 75% was up to me as I am the one who chooses to eat healthy (and not around my band) and exercise

Our addiction to food is more mental than phyiscal - so its up to him - does he want to stay obese so that he can continue to eat like he does now - or does he want to lose the weight improve the quaility of his live and hopefully his longevity too..

Good Luck on your journey....

[TQUAD64 9]

I have gone to restaurants with family, friends and co-workers, since being banded and it is true I do get full rather quickly. But my enjoyment is not centered on the food, rather with the company and conversation that is occuring.

Your husband can always take left overs home from the restaurant or perhaps you can share an entree.

As far as food. Each banded person is different as to what their band allows them to eat. Personally, so far, I can eat any food type. So when I do have lunch or supper at a restaurant, I can eat anything off the menu. Does this mean that I do, no. I just eat in moderation and I have very small portions of my favorite foods.

Good luck!

[crzytchr 3]

I still eat most things that I loved before. It depends on how much restriction he needs to still eat responsibly. I try really had to not be too restricted, because I don't want to feel punished. I have only had two fills with each one only being 1cc.

My favorite food is pizza and I still eat it. The difference is I eat 1 piece from medium pizza instead of 3. I eat spaghetti with whole wheat Pasta. I eat about 3/4 - 1 cup instead of a plateful. I don't eat bread very much other than the crust on my pizza or an occasional biscuit (my weakness). Now, I eat 1 biscuit slowly instead of 4 or 5.

[HeatherO 7]

The band has been absolutely worth it for me. it is also normal to "grieve" for food or a lifestyle during the early stages when you are making the decision to change your life.

He is not giving up food, he is just giving up excess. There is a difference between eating enough to fuel your body and eating way beyond what is necessary.

I eat normal portions of healthy food . . . and food no longer overshadows my every thought. It has also given me a new lease on life with the energy and possiblilities that being a normal size provides.

[amberstar 1]

I was freaking out too! When I had my first consultation with my surgeon, they scheduled my surgery for 2wks later and put me on liquids that day, I was not expecting that! After about a week I cried to my husband about missing food, and how I could never have anything good anymore and I didn't get to have "one last day" of stuffing my face because I was put on liquids so soon. I was very upset, as sad as it sounds.

But I got over that very quickly after the surgery. I can still have my fav foods, just in moderation. And I actually don't crave the "yummy stuff" like I thought I would. Your husband will understand, once he gets his band, there is a change in your thinking and you want to do the best you can with your band! You can put down more than a few bites, he will be satisfied!

And what is the 10-10-10 thing you talked about?

[IndioGirl55 32]

Hi, I am a REALLy concerned wife. My husband is scheduled for the lap band surgery at the end of this month, and he was all psyched up about it until he had his nutrition and psych counseling this week. Now he (and I )are having second thoughts.

We understand about the whole 10-10-10 liquid/smashed foods thing, and we are ok with that. But apparently he was told that he will "never eat the same again". He was literally told that he wont be able to put down more than a few bites of food in a restaurant ever again. This RELALY DEPRESSED him, and seeing how upset he was, I am not sure this is the right thing for him to do. We are paying cash for this and the last thing I want is for him to lose weight and be DEPRESSED for the rest of his life.

Can any of you please tell me your eating experiences after the lap band, any details/comments GREATLY appreciated, thanks much to all of you!

He needs to write this letter to the other women (food) in his life and break up with her

Dear food,

I’m breaking up with you.

Don’t be surprised. I’ve certainly tried to do it many times before, but I always weakened and went back to you.

I finally woke up and realized this relationship is not good for me. I’m not getting what I need from you. It’s hurting me, not allowing me the space to grow in the ways I need to grow. You’re holding me back.

I know I’ll have separation anxiety, but I’ve stayed with you too long, way past when I should have. This just isn’t working for me. You don’t listen to me. You don’t give me attention. You don’t care about what I’m going through. It’s almost like you don’t have any feelings for me at all, yet I’ve stuck close to you, helpless and dependent.

I know you won’t let go of me so easily. I know you’ll keep calling me, asking me to come back. But please, let me go now.

In the beginning you were always there, ready to calm me and soothe me, but it went too far. I came to rely on you. I looked to you for everything. In all fairness, it was too much to ask of you. No way could you fulfill all my needs. For so long I’ve settled, afraid to go out there and find something better for myself. I need to do that.

I now withdraw my heart from you so I can be free to put it elsewhere, some place where I can be loved back. I’ve tried to break up with you before. This time it’s real. I want to be on the cutting edge of my own life, and I can’t do it while I’m still tied to you. Thinking about being free scares me, but I want it. I must have it. I know I’m brave enough at last.

I know I’ll long for you. I know I’ll think of you a lot, especially during those hard times. I know I’ll be tempted to come back to you. But this time I’ve got a plan, things I’m prepared to do when I get lonely and sad. I’ve been thinking of other ways to Celebrate when I’m happy or proud. I have remedies in place for being bored or tired.

At this point you’re a troublemaker in my life and I intend to keep my emotional distance from you. So in a way, this is goodbye. Of course, I’ll still come into contact with you day to day, but let’s just be friends, not lovers.

Don’t cry (although you never do, it’s me who does all the crying).

[KarenK 0]

IndioGirl - love, love, love the letter.

I first looked into getting the band back in 2006. I was really taken aback when I heard no steak and no asparagus ever again, and really thought hard about whether I was ready for that kind of change. I ended up needing a hysterectomy and it took me close to two years after that to get my Iron levels up where they belonged - and to decide it was really time. I was ready to make the full change.

Of course, afterwards I discovered the thing about no steak or asparagus wasn't really true. I can have both with no problem. And, I do go out to eat - I order from the appetizer menu or I order things that will save well and take them home.

It's a huge change, and you & your husband are right to do all your thinking now. Make sure you're ready - get your answers - and you'll do fine.

[Jazzer 0]

IndioGirl - what a sensitive and real letter. You totally "get it"! I read many of your entries as they are always comforting and very honest. You go, girl...and bravo on your personal accomplishment! Excellent role model for so many of us!

[Jachut 487]

This was hard for me to get my head around too - you're thinking starvation portions and it just isnt like that. I dont eat a lot, but I can eat enough to feel satisfied, to enjoy what I've had, to not stand out as weird. Its more than just a few bites.

But I had to accept that that's how it might be. Because the reality is, lapband or not, if you ever want to get the weight off and keep it off, you can NEVER EVER eat the way you do now again. That's all there is to it, something's got to give. You can do it with support and help of the lapband or you can do it with Iron will, but either way, you have to do it.

You can never make a habit of going out and eating full restaurant serves again. If that panics him and he thinks he can just use willpower, but allow that safety net, that pass out (which is how I was trying to think) then he's probably not ready, not until he's prepared to admit he has to give it up.

And being depressed over that is far from unusual. But believe me, when you start seeing and feeling the results, your entire relationship with food will more often than not change. Its not depressing to have to put down your fork, its EMPOWERING. It gives you a feeling of control most fat people have never had over their eating.

Indio said it better, my style is a lot more in your face, tell it like it is brutal, lol.

[Marmite_crumpet 0]

Lee

No he won't be able to eat the 16 oz steak loaded baked potato - Soup - salad & dessert after being banded - but isn't that what got us in the posititon to need the band in the 1st place.

I can eat 4 oz of a good steak (filet migon from costco) 1/2 of a reg baked potato and some veggies - If I go to a mex restaurant - I use to eat the basket of chips - taco, enchillada rice and Beans - and sometime would add a relleno to that plate.. Now I go out and eat a few chips & salsa - 3/4 of my taco and few bites of my Beans - I bring home the enchillada and have it for lunch the next day.

Is it worth it - HELL YES for me it was worth it - I am loss 100 lbs in a year - I feel 10 yrs younger - the quality of my life has improved ten fold. I now hopefully have extended the years I have left on this earth (God willing)

food is our drug of choice - and it's a very hard thing to give up - do I miss it ya sometimes I do miss sitting down and pigging out - just like a person who quits smoking misses it - but it wasn't good for them so they gave it up - or like an alcholic missing drinking or a druggie misses their drugs but then know that it was killing them ruining their lives so they chose to give it up... food is that for us..

How much you can eat will depend on how tight your band is - I usually eat 1 cup for Breakfast & lunch and dinner maybe 1 to 1/2 cup.

I now eat like a normal person - I eat normal portion sizes - I eat healthy & I exercise - ya for me I can no longer eat a submarine sandwich - but I could eat the inners just not the bread - I am lucky I can still eat most food that give other banders problems - shrimp Pasta rice and even a little bread.

The band is the tool that I needed to help get control of my life - but it only does 25% of the work the other 75% was up to me as I am the one who chooses to eat healthy (and not around my band) and exercise

Our addiction to food is more mental than phyiscal - so its up to him - does he want to stay obese so that he can continue to eat like he does now - or does he want to lose the weight improve the quaility of his live and hopefully his longevity too..

Good Luck on your journey....

Nail on the head

I am enjoying your posts, IndigoGirl55 and am taking comfort and reassurance from them in these early days for me.

p.s. Did anyone else feel sorry for "Food" in that letter?! :thumbup:

[IndioGirl55 32]

IndioGirl - love, love, love the letter. .

IndioGirl - what a sensitive and real letter. You totally "get it"! I read many of your entries as they are always comforting and very honest. You go, girl...and bravo on your personal accomplishment! :bananalama: Excellent role model for so many of us!

Thanks for the props Karen & Jazzer - I didn't write the letter it has gone around LBT before I saw it when I 1st joined in 5/07 - another bander who's a friend of mine did a little skit in her TOPS meeting using this letter the other day - So I posted again - it's so very true and maybe would help the o/p

Indio said it better, my style is a lot more in your face, tell it like it is brutal, lol.

Jachut - OMW I take that as a complement from someone whom I admire and respect and look up to as a truly experienced bander !!!

I think you are better and a little more concise in expressing your thought than me and I don't think you are meaner than me - We just have a diff style in the way we express ourselves - and I just try to soften the message a little so that pple don't get put off by the words - so that they can get the message

Nail on the head :cheers2:

I am enjoying your posts, IndigoGirl55 and am taking comfort and reassurance from them in these early days for me.

p.s. Did anyone else feel sorry for "Food" in that letter?! :present:

Thanks Marmite - I wish that I could full express how good I feel - it is so great to get control of your life one day at a time - you still have problems - there will always be issues - but not lugging around 112 lbs of extra fat - does help in dealing with life unending issue...

Edited February 5, 2009 by IndioGirl55