DivaStyleCoach 89 Posted August 18, 2009 Hi Allie! Hey there Laura and Ebony! Thanks for your advice, I went through some VERY inappropriate sexual advances when I was young and I see how much the weight helped me hide from it. I understand...I never talked to a professional about it, but I'm willing to bet that what I endured at the hands of my father and brother (yep, both of them) made me reluctant to confront men as well...well, not any more! Isn't it funny how we protect ourselves.. gosh Ebony I wish I had your gumption. It came out of necessity, lots of prayers for strength, and I can't really put my finger on what it was that turned the tide, but it DID turn, and I'm so much more blessed for it. I am very lucky to be married to a man who understands that I am super sensitive to men and has never raised his voice to me. I am terrified of making a man angry, because of my father and the above which unfortunately are the same person. uggh.. anyway, I thought I had worked through it all but obviously not. I find myself not being able to be confrontational with men. Oh, my husband raises his voice, but I raise mine right back! My hubby has been stepping in and doing it for me but seriously is he going to go everywhere with me lol. I am going to try your advice ebony and start slowly but hopefully I can do it. You CAN do this...you CAN stand up for yourself and set reasonable boundaries for ALL of your relationships - whatever that means for you. Start slowly - you can even try this when you've got supportive friends around, or your hubby. Since we live so close, call ME - I'll come down and watch your back, and if anybody gets out of line, I'll DECK 'EM! :hurray: please say a prayer to make me a tougher person lol. I no longer have a relationship with either of my parents thank god and I really felt I had come so far. What a kick in the pants! Have a great day! I pray that you have the faith and the strength to say to that "mountain" (the troublesome person) "Be thou removed" and they will be! One of my mother's favorite sayings was "The will of God will never put you where the Grace of God cannot keep you" - to me, that means that whatever situation you find yourself in, you CAN handle it. Say a silent prayer for strength and courage and believe it WILL be yours, and it WILL BE. Faith is one of the strongest allies we have...I KNOW you can do this...you got through an experience that defeats a LOT of people. You CHOSE to DO something about your weight, and now you're at your GOAL. You can translate that strength and perseverance into any other area of your life that you choose to. You are committed, intelligent, strong and blessed. Nothing can stop you unless YOU let it...so don't let anything stop you, darling girl. I cannot tell you how much you inspire ME - and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Use the power of the spoken word in your favor - speak into existence the things you want to be as though they already are...you will WIN this battle. sleep well, my friend...:wub: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GREATFUL 24 Posted August 18, 2009 All I can say EbonyRose is.... You go Girl!!!! Take care all, Laura Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GREATFUL 24 Posted August 18, 2009 Okay, been without the binder now for a few day. Funny thing is that I find I am much more sore, and tender. I miss the support, but I do wear something like a Spanx thingie. Each day is better, I have more and more energy. Second week back at work and I am making it all day. Still take time to baby myself in the evening....lol, I think I am just spoiled. Take care all, Laura Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DivaStyleCoach 89 Posted August 18, 2009 Okay, been without the binder now for a few day. Funny thing is that I find I am much more sore, and tender. I miss the support, but I do wear something like a Spanx thingie. Each day is better, I have more and more energy. Second week back at work and I am making it all day. Still take time to baby myself in the evening....lol, I think I am just spoiled. Take care all, Laura Hi Laura! :thumbup: Hmm...maybe the binder was helping to support your muscles and now they have to do more work? Is there any reason beyond convenience that you would not wear the binder? Did your doctor recommend taking if off for a medical reason, or just because he didn't want you to become 'dependent' on it? Curious minds want to know...:sad::biggrin: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GREATFUL 24 Posted August 18, 2009 Hi Laura! :thumbup: Hmm...maybe the binder was helping to support your muscles and now they have to do more work? Is there any reason beyond convenience that you would not wear the binder? Did your doctor recommend taking if off for a medical reason, or just because he didn't want you to become 'dependent' on it? Curious minds want to know...:sad::biggrin: Yes, I agree that the binder was supporting the muscles. Doc also said that it was to keep me from moving so that the skin would re-attach and I would not pull it loose by moving. The reason to come out of it was because Doc said it was time, and it it was uncomfortable as hell. I have hear of others who felt they were dependent on the binder. I also think that my nerves are "waking up" and I am feeling more in the tummy area. Plus, I am doing more. Maybe just a combination of all factors contribute to me being tender. But each day is better, time is such a big factor I think when it comes to this surgery. Take care, Laura Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyjeans 2 Posted August 19, 2009 Hi Laura, Been on vacation and catching up. the new pictures are great. The pic with your pants before/after really shows how great your tummy looks. I'm glad your out of the binder and work is getting a little easier. I know you will be exctied when you can travel to see your grandson. What part of Texas do they live? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GREATFUL 24 Posted August 20, 2009 Hi Laura,Been on vacation and catching up. the new pictures are great. The pic with your pants before/after really shows how great your tummy looks. I'm glad your out of the binder and work is getting a little easier. I know you will be exctied when you can travel to see your grandson. What part of Texas do they live? Thanks for the nice comment. I am very glad to be out of the binder. Starting to feel kinda normal again. I have started walking, slowly. Glad to be exercising in some way, so want to drop these last 5 lbs. But it will happen. I can't wait to see that baby. He is just the most wonderful thing. They live in Waco, TX. I have another son that lives in Hillsboro, so I will get to see both of them when I go. YEA Take care all, Laura Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GREATFUL 24 Posted August 26, 2009 Tomorrow will be the 6 week mark for me. My how time flys....The last few day have been a challenge. I have had some swelling issues. But, I am going to take full responsibility for it. I have slacked off of my low sodium diet and have stopped taking the bromeline. I had read that you only needed to take the bromeline for 2 weeks after surgery. I don't know if it will help me, but it sure could'nt hurt. I have incresed my Water intake and cut out some of the salty snack I have been munching on the last week. We shall see if it helps. I guess if you asked me what is the hardest part now, I would have to say not being able to lift more than 10 lbs. We are putting our house on the market and trying to move things, clean and paint. It is such a pain not being able to do much. But, I will behave, yes by dang I will. I have come to far to mess this up. I mean I look fine, and well, MEN......well lets just say, he forgets that I am limited. He will say "Hey, help me move this table". I tell you what, you sure can tell when you do over do it. Your tummy will tell you..... and it is not nice. Doc says 8 weeks, so 2 more weeks. But, I tell you what, I dont plan on going hog wild then either. I thing easing into it is the best. Take care all, Laura Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyjeans 2 Posted August 27, 2009 Time does fly. Can't believe it's already been 6 weeks. why oh why do we have to swell. Low sodium will be a challenge for me but you have given me great advice and I feel confident I can do great as you have. Soon you'll be able to lift and get back in the swing of things and most important pick up your grandbaby. YAY! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DivaStyleCoach 89 Posted August 27, 2009 Tomorrow will be the 6 week mark for me. My how time flys....The last few day have been a challenge. I have had some swelling issues. But, I am going to take full responsibility for it. I have slacked off of my low sodium diet and have stopped taking the bromeline. I had read that you only needed to take the bromeline for 2 weeks after surgery. I don't know if it will help me, but it sure could'nt hurt. I have incresed my Water intake and cut out some of the salty snack I have been munching on the last week. We shall see if it helps. I guess if you asked me what is the hardest part now, I would have to say not being able to lift more than 10 lbs. We are putting our house on the market and trying to move things, clean and paint. It is such a pain not being able to do much. But, I will behave, yes by dang I will. I have come to far to mess this up. I mean I look fine, and well, MEN......well lets just say, he forgets that I am limited. He will say "Hey, help me move this table". I tell you what, you sure can tell when you do over do it. Your tummy will tell you..... and it is not nice. Doc says 8 weeks, so 2 more weeks. But, I tell you what, I dont plan on going hog wild then either. I thing easing into it is the best. Take care all, Laura Hi Laura! Glad to hear your recovery is moving forward. Don't be so hard on yourself - you are doing very well. I guess if we didn't slip once in a while, we woudn't be human! :w00t: I'm glad you're feeling good - and you sharing your results and experience is just so valuable. I've kinda revised my own timetable...I am going to aim to be at 170 lbs by the end of this year, and depending on what department I'm in next year (I'm applying for a new job) I may do the surgery in the summer. The academic departments have downtime during the summer - though I'm not sure I want to be wearing a binder during the summer :thumbup: We'll see how it goes...right now, I'm stuck on a plateau at 205. 35 more pounds and I can start investigating the surgery for real...I won't let myself investigate it any earlier than that, because I really don't want to give up my goal of eventually being at 155 lbs. Keep up the good work - any new pics of you to see? :blushing: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GREATFUL 24 Posted August 28, 2009 Now new pictures.... I don't think there is that big of a diffrence since the last ones. But I will do more at 2 months, not long. Hope to drop these last 5 lbs. Not having much luck in that department, but giving myself some grace. I can only walk, and PS says not fast walking. So I hope when he releases me to exercise that these last five will just melt off.....(hey I can dream right). Swelling has been better the last few days, that is a great thing. It sucks when you swell, I feel like a drum that is way too tight and about to burst. I am wearing my compression garmet and I thing that is helping. It is helping how I feel, so it is helping. My pre surgery clother are fitting looser. Everyone at work keeps asking if I have lost weight. I tell them "A little, Thanks". They do not know that I had this surgery. My following up with the PS is Sep. 9th. So I expect him to release me to full exercise then. And then I can lift my grandbaby.YEA. Take care all, Laura Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GREATFUL 24 Posted September 1, 2009 OMG - I am in SWELL HELL!!! I know it is normal, but I still hate it!! I think I am going to take some pictures tonight just so everyone can see. And maybe I will see that I am not as bad as I think or feel I am. Take care all, Laura Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mimilou2004 13 Posted September 1, 2009 Yes, Laura, please post some pictures. mimi Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sue Magoo 71 Posted September 1, 2009 Laura: Sorry to hear you're still having swelling issues. Anything different - activity, diet, working too many hours, on feet too many hours? Are you swelling everywhere or just in your lower abdomen? Hope it improves soon. Take care. Sue Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyjeans 2 Posted September 2, 2009 Hi Laura, Sorry to hear about the swelling. No fun. I heard desk jobs cause more swelling and that's all I do at work. Are you still in compression garment? I bet it's not as bad as you think. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites