Octuplets and SIX other children??!!!

[Apples2 19]

No, if I thought child was being abused, I'd do my best to look into it myself. Then if there was a strong suspicion of something going on I would report it. But not just on a hunch or a thought. Bruises on a child could be from playng rough, so I wouldn't report that, but bruises on a child almost every time I seen the child is suspicious. You can tell when there is abuse or not. There are signs.

Patty...now you are playing God. What special qualifications do you have to investigate abuse? Report first with ANY indication of abuse and deal with the consequences later.

I speak from experience and agree with Carrie. Most abused children try to act as normal as they possibly can. Sexual and physical abuse run rampent at all social levels within our country. I was raised in an upper class home and endured 10 years...yes, you read it right...10 years of sexual abuse. From the tender age of 7 until I graduated and got the hell out of there at 17. My mother knew and she let it continue. She didn't talk to me for 11 yrs b/4 her death because I came out of the closet with it. She protected my abuser. When she died 4 yrs ago I recieved lots of money in sympathy cards. My DH and I matched the funds and donated to "Someplace Safe" (sexual abuse advocacy) in the county where the abuse happened. We contribute the same each year on the anniversary of her death.

I have called social services based on suspicion alone (2x actually). Guess what? In one case the child was pulled from the home due to neglect. This seven year old was not allowed to eat at the table but very welcome to eat on the kitchen floor. He was not allowed to use the bathroom but could poop leaning against the car outside.

Guess what? In the second case a set of twins was pulled from the home (sister's kids). 18 months old. Mom claimed they were biting each other. Hmmmmmm....adult tooth prints in both boys cheeks.

I STRONGLY disagree with your high and mighty attitude. If adults aren't going to protect our children, who the hell will??????????????????????????

[Carrie_C 9]

My heart goes out to you Carrie.

I hope you had someone who came into your life and rescued you.

Thanks. No one rescued me, but I did eventually grow up and rescue myself.

[Carrie_C 9]

Patty...now you are playing God. What special qualifications do you have to investigate abuse? Report first with ANY indication of abuse and deal with the consequences later.

I speak from experience and agree with Carrie. Most abused children try to act as normal as they possibly can. Sexual and physical abuse run rampent at all social levels within our country. I was raised in an upper class home and endured 10 years...yes, you read it right...10 years of sexual abuse. From the tender age of 7 until I graduated and got the hell out of there at 17. My mother knew and she let it continue. She didn't talk to me for 11 yrs b/4 her death because I came out of the closet with it. She protected my abuser. When she died 4 yrs ago I recieved lots of money in sympathy cards. My DH and I matched the funds and donated to "Someplace Safe" (sexual abuse advocacy) in the county where the abuse happened. We contribute the same each year on the anniversary of her death.

I have called social services based on suspicion alone (2x actually). Guess what? In one case the child was pulled from the home due to neglect. This seven year old was not allowed to eat at the table but very welcome to eat on the kitchen floor. He was not allowed to use the bathroom but could poop leaning against the car outside.

Guess what? In the second case a set of twins was pulled from the home (sister's kids). 18 months old. Mom claimed they were biting each other. Hmmmmmm....adult tooth prints in both boys cheeks.

I STRONGLY disagree with your high and mighty attitude. If adults aren't going to protect our children, who the hell will??????????????????????????

I totally agree with you. It is sad to say, but most mothers do protect the abusers. It is very sad that some mothers won't even keep their own children safe and instead choose a man over her own child. I have 2 older brothers and a younger sister who all were abused, and no one ever reported us to DCF not once. And I know other people had to know what was going on. I just wonder how those people slept at night knowing and doing nothing.

[Kat817 19]

I am so sorry both of you had to go through that. My experience was with my ex husband, and shame kept me quiet! I had good, honest reasons for staying---he threatened my other family members---and followed through with a friend, so I knew he would do it.

I appreciate your wording it so eloquently Heather, I just wanted to yell and be ugly!!! LOL

I truly do not understand how a person trained and seemingly caring enough to be a foster parent cannot get over themselves and put the kids first----my mind does not wrap around it.

Lu---excellent point, file against the abuser or if it is founded to be a harrassing complaint, file against them. I sympathize with you. The friend my ex put in the hospital, was doing just as you all mentioned, trying to help me....

All of this still comes back to the fact that Octomom, NEEDS to be visited and kept under watch, simply to make sure she has enough help to properly care for that many children. She might just prefer to let them go wild like the first 6, and pocket all the $$$$. She needs watched, and investigated on a regular basis, before someone gets hurt or worse...

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

Something that may or may not have been mentioned in the past postings is that certain workers who come in contact with children are mandated reporters. They are required to report anything suspicious or they face repercussions and even the loss of their job.

I would much rather someone report a suspicion and nothing be wrong than for someone to say nothing and the next thing you hear is a news report about a missing or dead child. I have been blessed not to have suffered abuse in my lifetime...my sister's children were not so lucky. They were abused at the hands of a caregiver, and that person was sent to jail, along with my sister for "allowing" it to happen. I still do not know if she knew - she is dead now, so I can't ask her. Two of the children are grown, but have issues; one will never grow up because she died as a result of the abuse.

I will ALWAYS make the call - if I am proven wrong, I will sincerely apologize. I could not live with myself if I didn't at least TRY to help a child I thought was being abused or mistreated.

Regarding Octomom - she should WELCOME the scrutiny! It's her opportunity to prove her detractors wrong by providing a safe, loving and appropriate home for the children SHE wilfully brought into this world. She must have had a thought that she COULD handle it - and she should be happy that people care enough to want to know what happens to the children.

What kind of world would it be if we just looked at her and her family as a kind of freak show and paid no more attention?

[Kat817 19]

Octomom was on TV this morning, but I was preparing to leave for work. I was wondering if all the babies were home and healthy yet....anyone know?

[Carrie_C 9]

Yes, they are all home. The last one went home a few days ago I think.

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

The drama continues...

Heard on the radio this morning that police and child welfare were called because one of Octomom's older children (I think they said the child was autistic) arrived at school with bruises and bite marks.

What on earth is going on in that house?

[BJean 16]

Why nothing we have to worry our little heads about. We need to just butt out of that poor woman's business. Right patty?

[pattygreen 5]

Question: Why do we revel in other mothers bad behavior, such as when Britney Spears was in the news for driving with her baby on her lap? Answer: If you're walking around in a perpetual state of code-level-orange anxiety, afraid you're going to make a mistake, it's very handy to have an example of someone who is so much worse. You can get off on the badness and the horribleness of that mother and comfort yourself that "at least I'm not her."

[pattygreen 5]

The drama continues...

Heard on the radio this morning that police and child welfare were called because one of Octomom's older children (I think they said the child was autistic) arrived at school with bruises and bite marks.

What on earth is going on in that house?

My 3 year old once bit my 5 year old. And my kids have had bruises. And I am a loving parent to my kids. My point is that you shouldn't jump to conclusions. This is what I mean about her business. She is being scrutinized. Crap happens in every house, the difference is the world doesn't get to view every house like she's being viewed.

[Kat817 19]

Every house does not open themselves up to scrutiny----she did so. When she opted to have 14 children, or even 7 children all without a father on the scene, and with no income, all through in vitro-------SHE CHOSE to put herself under the microscope. She revels in the attention-------that is VERY obvious. She has had offers of help to watch all those children, but when she falls short and is called on it, she changes direction, yet again.

Of course all children get bruises etc. Many autistic children bite themselves. However that child should not be left alone for another or even himself to be biting him.

SHE CHOSE this patty-----------now she has to live with the consequences and the fact that people as a whole care about the children MUCH more than they will ever care about her or her reasons for doing such an idiotic thing as trying to parent all these kids alone.

We DO NOT care whether she likes people butting into her business or not......it is going to happen, and the people are going to try to make sure in one way or another the kids are safe, because obviously Mom cannot.

[gone 4 ever 6]

My 3 year old once bit my 5 year old. And my kids have had bruises. And I am a loving parent to my kids. My point is that you shouldn't jump to conclusions. This is what I mean about her business. She is being scrutinized. Crap happens in every house, the difference is the world doesn't get to view every house like she's being viewed.

I have to agree with you on this one patty. My kids would get into fistfights. I would just send them outside to fight and they are girls.

[BJean 16]

Patty: "Question: Why do we revel in other mothers bad behavior, such as when Britney Spears was in the news for driving with her baby on her lap? Answer: If you're walking around in a perpetual state of code-level-orange anxiety, afraid you're going to make a mistake, it's very handy to have an example of someone who is so much worse. You can get off on the badness and the horribleness of that mother and comfort yourself that 'at least I'm not her.'"

I think that there are some people who feel that way. And if they are "code level orange" anxious because they are so afraid they're going to make a mistake, it is because they are just plain ignorant and maybe more than a little stupid. And they have probably done something just as stupid and didn't get caught. So maybe that's the reason they "get off" on it.

But most people who are intelligent do not "revel" in bad behavior. They are shocked and appalled by it. They want to call attention to it so that people can learn from that person's outright stupidity. And they might be able to help the stupid person in some way. But more importantly, they would like to rescue the children who are harmed by stupidity and ignorance, if there's anyway they can.

[Carrie_C 9]

Hey! I like Britney Spears! Let's not bring her into this! LOL!!!!