Octuplets and SIX other children??!!!

[kiz 1]

This is the first I've heard that the other woman doesn't have insurance either! Either way, through taxes or insurance premiums, the public is paying. At a minimum, that fertility doctor ought to be on the hook financially for the babiessssss' medical care.

I wonder how much Angels in Waiting received in donations to help pay for their 24/7 care of the babies. I'm sure it will be put to good use for people who actually appreciate the professional help they can provide, but it's heartbreaking that the babies won't be getting it - because of their mother. At no time, have I ever seen Nadya put her children's interests before her own.

[BethFromVA 5]

At no time, have I ever seen Nadya put her children's interests before her own.

And you never will. She doesn't have the ability to think of anybody besides herself.

[HeatherO 7]

I had the morning free and finally read up on the rest of this thread . . . which is a gazillion pages long, lol.

Anyway, this quote really struck a chord with me:

Our goal as parents should be to raise healthy, happy, productive members of society.

When children depend on their parents for too long, they do not learn how to adequately take care of themselves. They can't make good adult decisions on their own. They do not make good spouses. And they often behave like spoiled children even though they are adults. They are often the people you meet who believe that the world owe's them something.

I think BJean was really on to something and she said it all. I think this speaks volumes about why octomom happens to be the way she is.

Even though her parents have supported her in every way possible, she shows no appreciation whatsoever and is still feeling the need to make up for perceived wrongs in childhood.

She is gifted with babycare services for her preemies by medical professionals at an overwhelming cost based on donations by good people who care for the health and well-being of the children . . . and then promptly fires them for questioning a situation that is not healthy for the babies.

When has she ever shown appreciation for the freebies she has been given?

She also seems to feel the world owes her, and appears to be more concerned with personal appearance than her own children. I am sure that the people who have donated money to the cause are thrilled that they are getting manicures and MAC cosmetics instead of child care items.

Not everyone deserves to be gifted with something as precious as a child. After being a foster care provider for years, I can tell you that just because some people are stay at home moms, have many children in a large family, or are homeschooling in no way necessarily ensures that a child will be loved or have their most basic needs met.

The 911 call where she is carrying on that she is going to kill herself repeatedly in front of her other children when her small child goes missing after being unattended outdoors for an hour told me most of what I need to know about her parenting abilities.

Do incidents like this happen where a child has temporarily wandered off when you have a lot of children? It is a possibility and doesnt always mean you are a bad parent. I think the real test is in how you respond to it. She did not respond in a healthy or even sane manner.

Edited March 24, 2009 by HeatherO
shpelling

[gone 4 ever 6]

She's in the news again. She has supposedly signed a reality show contract. But the name octomom cannot be used. I can't get the web addy to work when I post it here. Go to MSNBC weird news.

[pattygreen 5]

Those angels didn't just question a situation that wasn't healthy for her babies, they reported her to DCF. They are hovering over her and watching her every move in the privacy of her own home. I would fire them, too. Free or not. Who needs someone in your home checking and overseeing everything you do? Let's face it, No one is a perfect parent and these people are looking for things to fault her on. I'd send them packing! She has plenty of money to pay for private day care in her own home. She doesn't need them. It's one thing to get something for free, it's quite another if it has strings attached. I'd say thank you, but no thankyou. I, too, did foster care and daycare for about 20 years. I've seen both sides. DCF social workers are like security guards in the mall. They act like they have every authority and try to use scare tactics to intimidate you, but they don't have any authority at all.

[Kat817 19]

She has proven time and time again, she needs to be watched. She does not react normally---in any situation I have seen her in, and yes I realize normal is different to every one.

And saying they have no authority at all.....you were fostering someones kids who were taken away by them, perhaps they might have some sort of authority.

She may have enough money to pay for private day care in her home, but are they going to go to the lengths to make these babies bond like the angels did? Without someone watching over the situation, she can spend the money hiring the 12 year old down the street to babysit! EVERYTHING in life has conditions---or strings, including this, and she NEEDS to be watched, and overseeing not only her but the wild 6 older kids.

Still increasingly seems like disaster waiting to happen. Sadly it will be an innocent who suffers, not the guilty Mother.

[mscassie674 0]

I watched Dr. Phil on Thursday or Friday last week ad=nd her spokesperson/lawyer or whoever he is finally stated that Medical was the payor source for nursing for these babies. I am a nurse and I know that they are fragile and need help. My problem with the whole situation is that she chose to have all of these kids for whatever reason, whether it was the obsession with Angeline Jolie or Mother Goose, it is not fair for us as taxpayers to be responsible to pay for her children for the rest of their lives. I feel sorry for these children because it is clearly that this woman is dealing with some real psych issues. I don't think that people in general understand the cost involved in raising children that are medical fragile. The fact that she stated that her babies are normal was an issue being that they were 9 weeks premature. The long term issues with premature infants varies. The cost of 24 hours of nursing (@medicaid rate in FL) is $21000 for an RN for 30 days for 1 baby. Just imagine how many nurses will be needed for 8 babies (even if 1 nurse was to watch 2-3 babies). Then we must include the medical equipment which may include apnea monitors, etc. because most premies require the items. I really dont think Nadya thought this out. Now about AIW I think its not what you do its how you do things. When you are dealing with a situation like this you really need to have strong nurses who are confindent enough to make the mom learn the care of these children. Also instead of observing and recording and reporting they should have been observing recording and teaching. The breakdown was in the communication. I really feel for these children and this mom. She really need help and its deeper than a pediatric nurse.

[pattygreen 5]

I think there are too many noses in the pot. She should take the millions she has already been given by Phil and others, and find another place to live that isn't so expensive where noone knows about it. Like in the backwoods where no other homes are, and then hire some aides to help with the care of her children privately in her home. She should stop allowing any pictures and stop speaking to the public. She should fully concentrate on taking care of her kids until they are about 1 or 2, because before this age is when they need the most care. Then decide at that time if she wants to put them up for show to the nosy country. She shouldn't allow anyone in her home who was there solely to 'check' on her. I'd tell them all to get lost. What she does with her family is HER business. The gov. and those associated with it constantly try to interfere with peoples lives and tell them how they think it should be done. There are FAR worse cases of child abuse going on in this country, (and I'm not even saying she's doing any abusing) that all you folks could be rallying to correct. For if she was abusing her children, she would have had them taken away by now. The fact is the only thing she is doing wrong right now is.......She's not living up to the standard of everyone else in this country...... Oh well. Who is? The money our new president just signed away with the stroke of his pen is ok with all the dems out there. I don't hear the dems hollaring or complaining about ALL THAT MONEY wasted. Just consider her another one of Obamas pet pork projects. What she is getting for free from your tax dollars is but a penny compared to what else was GIVEN away.

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

I think there are too many noses in the pot.

On this I tend to agree - except that she definately needs professional help, and her past behavior has put her in the spotlight. She needs to be monitored until she can prove she's ready to handle the very large family that she created.

She should take the millions she has already been given by Phil and others, and find another place to live that isn't so expensive where noone knows about it. Like in the backwoods where no other homes are, and then hire some aides to help with the care of her children privately in her home.

Not the backwoods - too far away from emergency responders if she or the babies should need help...

She should stop allowing any pictures and stop speaking to the public.

On that we totally agree - the media frenzy is not making for a healthy environment for the kids, and she's under a LOT of pressure. Of her own making, I might add...

She should fully concentrate on taking care of her kids until they are about 1 or 2, because before this age is when they need the most care. Then decide at that time if she wants to put them up for show to the nosy country. She shouldn't allow anyone in her home who was there solely to 'check' on her. I'd tell them all to get lost. What she does with her family is HER business.

If she were footing all of the bills for her family, I'd agree, but she created this very large family on the public dole, and until she pays back ALL of that money, the "public" has a right to know where their money has gone. People of good conscience will want to know how the babies are being cared for in any event...

The gov. and those associated with it constantly try to interfere with peoples lives and tell them how they think it should be done. There are FAR worse cases of child abuse going on in this country, (and I'm not even saying she's doing any abusing) that all you folks could be rallying to correct. For if she was abusing her children, she would have had them taken away by now. The fact is the only thing she is doing wrong right now is.......She's not living up to the standard of everyone else in this country...... Oh well. Who is? The money our new president just signed away with the stroke of his pen is ok with all the dems out there. I don't hear the dems hollaring or complaining about ALL THAT MONEY wasted. Just consider her another one of Obamas pet pork projects. What she is getting for free from your tax dollars is but a penny compared to what else was GIVEN away.

This is where we part company - abuse takes many forms, and some of them take YEARS to show...just because she has a number of children and they are all relatively well, that does not mean that she's prepared to handle the preemies. Bringing the President into this is just so far afield that it doesn't even register...

She created this circus environment - she should suck it up and deal with it. Her priority should be taking care of the children and proving that she CAN be a good mother to them, not in seeking celebrity everywhere she turns.

I pray for the babies' sake that all turns out well, but I just don't have a good feeling about all of this. I think she's in WAAAY over her head and can't admit it...:smile:

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

And now, a look at how multiples CAN be handled successfully...there are pics and an article. Hopefully the link will come through okay...:sad:

America's first African-American Sextuplets - essence.com

[pattygreen 5]

hey, very nice!!!

[HeatherO 7]

And now, a look at how multiples CAN be handled successfully...there are pics and an article. Hopefully the link will come through okay...:sad:

America's first African-American Sextuplets - essence.com

Great article and they make such a lovely family . . . and they were able to do it without it turning into a circus :0).

Thanks for sharing.

[Kat817 19]

GREAT article Ebony!!! 2 parents, with jobs, who agreed to a few class act interviews, a tasteful TV program, have college funds for their kids......what a CONTRAST!!!!

[Carrie_C 9]

patty, I'm not sure who your social workers were when you were a foster parent, but my mom is a foster parent and the social workers do have all the power! They are the ones who remove children from homes and monitor them when they are in new homes. They go in front of the judge and tell him or her the findings and the judge more often than not goes with the social worker's suggestions. But I do agree that she needs to stay away from the media and not allow cameras in her home. That to me is just another indicator of her not being stable.

[pattygreen 5]

carrie, did you know that if a social worker shows up at your door and says there was a complaint against you by someone and they need to talk to you and see your children that you don't have to allow them into your home and that you have a right to know what the complaint was and who reported it, and that if you don't want them to interview your children, that they can't? Social workers will never tell you your rights. They will say words to you like "we must..." and "You need to..." when in fact it's "If it's ok with you, we'd like to..." ,and "If it's ok with you we'd like to talk to your children."etc. They use scare tactics and threats to check you out. When you are reported upon by someone as being abusive to your children say, they expect you to prove your innocence when in fact the burden of proof lies on them. If you did nothing wrong to your children, you need to tell them when they show up at your door that the accusation is false and that they are not welcomed in. They will then have to get a court order if it is a serious accusation. Then you can prepare yourself by getting an attorney to talk to. This way the SW isn't the only one going before the judge concerning some lie someone made up about you and how you care for your children. Some SW's make it their priority to take children from homes that THEY feel isn't meeting THEIR expectations, and sometimes on mere assumptions. In this country, you are innocent until proven guilty. There are alot of people who report people to DCF out of their own anger towards the accused. This happens more often than not.