Octuplets and SIX other children??!!!

[BethFromVA 5]

Funny, some don't say that about moms who put their kids in daycare for 10 hours a day.

What I mean is that this is a woman who claims (though I believe she is a pathological liar) that she never got love from her parents and was lonely; and here she creates a situation where NONE of her children will EVER get acceptable and adequate attention and love from THEIR mother. Instead, numerous people will be dealing with them at any given time.

They'll be lucky if they get more than a few minutes of her time a day.

[BethFromVA 5]

This is going to be a very unpopular rant, but I believe that one parent should stay home with preschool age children and that people really shouldn't consider having children if they are unable to take care of them themselves.

My reasons are many but not the least of which is the fact that really great daycare workers are hard to find. Many of the good-sized institutions hire poorly educated and unskilled warm bodies to take care of the children, who are often given the minimum care and attention. I can follow this with horror stories but I won't bore you.

On the other hand, mostly, my niece has 3 children and has never stayed home and never plans to stay home, nor does her husband. Their children seem to be great little beings, who seem to be well-adjusted and loved, but who do have colds and runny noses constantly.

I know that I'm probably being thought of as a two-headed monster right now, but nobody can care for children like the parents. And I tend to think that we do, as a society, require too many material things at the expense of our babies.

Btw, I was a single mother whose child spent long days with hired hands while I worked. (Until I married my second husband.)

I actually agree.

[luluc 6]

This is going to be a very unpopular rant, but I believe that one parent should stay home with preschool age children and that people really shouldn't consider having children if they are unable to take care of them themselves.

Btw, I was a single mother whose child spent long days with hired hands while I worked. (Until I married my second husband.)

not an unpopular opinion in my mind.

i know many that have to work, and many that just WANT to work., me i left work after many miscarriages - lost count & the IVF ship had long sailed * failed.

i had a stay at home mom; my brother's wives all are SAHM's - being an indulgent strain for selfish gains doesn't warrant that lifestyle decision. you want to play mad scientist - go earn a buck; i certainly did and would if i had more than a handful of mouths to feed.

[green 6]

What I mean is that this is a woman who claims (though I believe she is a pathological liar) that she never got love from her parents and was lonely; and here she creates a situation where NONE of her children will EVER get acceptable and adequate attention and love from THEIR mother. Instead, numerous people will be dealing with them at any given time.

They'll be lucky if they get more than a few minutes of her time a day.

You make a good point.

[TQUAD64 9]

This is going to be a very unpopular rant, but I believe that one parent should stay home with preschool age children and that people really shouldn't consider having children if they are unable to take care of them themselves.

My reasons are many but not the least of which is the fact that really great daycare workers are hard to find. Many of the good-sized institutions hire poorly educated and unskilled warm bodies to take care of the children, who are often given the minimum care and attention. I can follow this with horror stories but I won't bore you.

On the other hand, mostly, my niece has 3 children and has never stayed home and never plans to stay home, nor does her husband. Their children seem to be great little beings, who seem to be well-adjusted and loved, but who do have colds and runny noses constantly.

I know that I'm probably being thought of as a two-headed monster right now, but nobody can care for children like the parents. And I tend to think that we do, as a society, require too many material things at the expense of our babies.

Btw, I was a single mother whose child spent long days with hired hands while I worked. (Until I married my second husband.)

I have to agree if it is at all possible to stay at home with the kids, then do it. But I do understand for single parent households that this more likey not possible.

When I was married and the kids were young we were able to take advantage of our odd shift work. At one time hubby worked swings and I worked days, which helped limit day care use. Plus, we always had family.

But when I divorced, the kids were 6 and 10 and I had no support system, so daycare and school was it. I had to work. Being a parent is so challenging.

[Kat817 19]

I found myself part way through school, with a baby, and divorced. I chose to care for other peoples children as opposed to putting my own in day care. I did that in my home until my DD was starting junior high. At that time, I moved it out of my home, and turned it into a business. Through the years, I continued school at night, when my parents and her father could help with my DD's care, eventually getting my degree, specializing in early childhood education.

During the 20+ years of providing day care, there are many different types of parents out there. Some should never have had children, and it shows in their kids---they are the ones who do not bond with a provider or a teacher, they are leaders or they throw fits, and the only lessons they get in playing are at day care. No one interacts with them at home, they do not learn to interact with others.

Most of the parents I had were not willingly away from their kids, it was financial. They were forced to work, either as single parents, or in lower income jobs. Dead ended there, because they were gone all day they did not want to be away from the kids all evening as well, and usually money did not allow them to continue their education. Government assistance was not available because they made too much for that. It is a huge catch 22.

Then there were the occasional ones who worked because they chose to. They felt confined and unchallenged being home with children all day. Some of these were in the long run some of the best parents I saw. When they were off, the kids were the #1 focus.

I have seen full time, SAH parents, where kids were sent to play and not enjoyed at all. That is equally as sad, and they fall into the should not have had kids category!!!

Finding safe day care IS a huge issue. Which is why even tho I sold my day care almost 10 years ago, I provide care for my grandchildren. That way I know how they are being cared for! My DD is divorced, so she has no option but to work. My DIL has decided a home is what she wants, and the best way she can get that is to increase income. But the care the 2 kids get when they leave here, is very different....just as described above.

As for Octomom. If she tried to use anything less than specially trained care givers, and something horrible happened to any of the kids, all hell would break loose. Which is a good thing! She needs the magnifying glass to remain on her at all times, and in all things. She has proven repeatedly that her own judgement is not the best.

I think the extra lengths they are going to are wonderful for the babies. Anything that helps them to thrive is great!

That was one of the things they told my DD with my granddaughter was to ALWAYS hold her in one way to feed her, in an almost upright position. So we ALL learned it!

That they are taking this time and effort is to be commended. Have to wonder if they will send all the nurses to get acrylics put on, so the touch through the gloves will be the same!!!!

I don't care if it costs a quarter million a month to support them, if her donations can cover that. Better to spend it on the care givers than on Mom.

[TQUAD64 9]

That they are taking this time and effort is to be commended. Have to wonder if they will send all the nurses to get acrylics put on, so the touch through the gloves will be the same!!!!

.

I forgot to mention, octo-mom took her fake nails off. Octo-mom and Dr. Phil were at Kaiser visiting th e babies and when octom-mom was picking up the babies she had no fake nails. That is another reason that I really think Dr. Phil and so many others are coaching her.

[Carrie_C 9]

Yea, I noticed the nails were gone too. Maybe Dr. Phil did do some good!!

[Carrie_C 9]

Oh, Carrie, you silly little thing, you don't know what you're talking about! :w00t:

What was I thinking!! Taking care of 1 premmie is the same as taking care of 8! Didn't everyone know that?!

[pattygreen 5]

I agree with you. I feel that mom or dad should parent the children and be their role model till they get into school. But that's just me. I didn't put any of my children in a daycare. I ran a home daycare for 12 years though, so I don't have anything against them except that I wouldn't want my kids being influenced by anyone else for that many hours every day. I've heard that from birth to 5 is the greatest growth in a childs life.

[Carrie_C 9]

I can see both sides. In a way I think it is good for kids to be around other kids and be away from their parents for a certain amount of time. I think that helps them gain some independence and helps them when they have to go to school later. But I don't agree with putting a child in daycare for 10 hours a day everyday.

[pattygreen 5]

What I mean is that this is a woman who claims (though I believe she is a pathological liar) that she never got love from her parents and was lonely; and here she creates a situation where NONE of her children will EVER get acceptable and adequate attention and love from THEIR mother. Instead, numerous people will be dealing with them at any given time.

They'll be lucky if they get more than a few minutes of her time a day.

NONE of her children will EVER get acceptable and adequate attention and love from their mother? According to what you feel is acceptable or adequate? I don't agree. I believe she will give all her children Love. A child always knows their mom.(no matter who takes care of them) She may not be able to give them all the kind of personal one on one attention a mom of 1 or 2 kids would, I agree with that, but most moms with large families show ALL their kids adequate love and attention. I take personal offense to that because of my 10 kids. They were not neglected and now that they are older and can share their feelings about growing up with alot of siblings, they say they have never felt short changed or unloved by me in any way.

Edited March 13, 2009 by pattygreen

[Carrie_C 9]

You didn't have 10 kids all the same age either.

[BethFromVA 5]

NONE of her children will EVER get acceptable and adequate attention and love from their mother? According to what you feel is acceptable or adequate? I don't agree.

Um, NO, according to at least two of the children she already has -- based on what they've said or how they act out for lack of attention NOW.

As for your opinion, I'm not surprised you disagree. And frankly, I don't care. You couldn't be more wrong. How can she POSSIBLY give those kids undivided attention, especially if she is going to school/writing a book/working, or whatever she thinks she's going to do. Then there's here self-centeredness. How the hell can she find time for them when all she has time for is herself?

And as for your personal offense, I couldn't care less about that either. The fact that you have adult children living at home so many years past the time they should be taking care of themselves speaks volumes.

[heartfire 4]

This is going to be a very unpopular rant, but I believe that one parent should stay home with preschool age children and that people really shouldn't consider having children if they are unable to take care of them themselves.

My reasons are many but not the least of which is the fact that really great daycare workers are hard to find. Many of the good-sized institutions hire poorly educated and unskilled warm bodies to take care of the children, who are often given the minimum care and attention. I can follow this with horror stories but I won't bore you.

On the other hand, mostly, my niece has 3 children and has never stayed home and never plans to stay home, nor does her husband. Their children seem to be great little beings, who seem to be well-adjusted and loved, but who do have colds and runny noses constantly.

I know that I'm probably being thought of as a two-headed monster right now, but nobody can care for children like the parents. And I tend to think that we do, as a society, require too many material things at the expense of our babies.

Btw, I was a single mother whose child spent long days with hired hands while I worked. (Until I married my second husband.)

No flaming here. I agree wholeheartedly if it's possible for a family to do so.

DH and I have always felt the same way. I was working near full-time when we brought DD home from the hospital. I was able to take the whole summer off to be home with her and after I went back in the fall, she went with me. It was great! She got to swing in her little swing, or play in her pak n play, take naps when she wanted, get fed when she needed, interact with all and sundry who came into the office (I was our church's secretary) and I got to hold her and interact with her as much as possible. And I still got my work done! When her papa was home from work (he's a fireman) she got to stay home with him. It was great!

After a year tho, it was getting harder to have her in the office. she was a lot more mobile and very vocal and wanting to do what mama was doing whether that be on the computer, the phone or "doing" paperwork! It got harder to do my work in a timely manner. That's when I talked to the pastor and we decided it was time to hire in behind me and I go home. I've taken the financials with me and work from home 5 hrs a week.

We are blessed in that we can afford to do that. It's tight and getting tighter as California goes to hell in a handbasket (DH works for the state) but we have vowed to make it work however we need to do that.

DD will be 3 in a couple of months. Starting in the fall she will start Preschool at our church. It's a true preschool in that the kids go a couple of days a week, for a few hours a day. As a 3 yr old she'll go 2 days a week and as a 4 yr old she'll go 3 days a week (2 different classes). It's also a parent-involved preschool so the parents work in the classroom, assisting our teacher. It's a great environment!

For us, this works. Even if I did go to work outside the home, daycare would take all of my pay or near all of it, so wouldn't be worth it to us anyway. I was a preschool teacher for several years and worked in preschool/daycare combos. I always felt bad for the kids and parents who had to use us full-time. It was expensive and the kids and parents missed out on each other. It seemed to "work" for most families but it's always something that I hated the idea of. As long as we can swing it, this is how we'll manage our family.