Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What did your spouse think of your PS scars?



Recommended Posts

I had a chat with DH last night, as I know that after my body lift, I will have some obvious (and sizeable) scars, even if they do fade after some time.

I wondered if they would be off-putting to DH and whether he would find me attractive anymore.

He reassured me that he would find me attractive no matter what, but I can't help feeling he's not quite prepared for the extent of the scarring, and how different I'll look.

So I was hoping to hear from those who have BTDT - how did your spouse react to your scars?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe you could show him some pictures, but my understanding is that scars get pretty faint fairly quickly. I'm more worried about how dh will feel if I get that breast reduction I'm thinking about. He really is attached to my breasts!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for your reply MacMadame,

DH has seen pictures already, but I don't think it'll quite be the same when they're on his wife. I hope he means what he says, and that he'll love my body no matter what.

I am starting to believe that, to him, a big scar is still preferable to the masses of loose skin I currently have, just from things he has said recently, so am feeling more confident about the surgery after all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lellow,

I don't have a spouse -- but I date and I had a boyfriend at the time I had my plastics and I really worried about the scars. As background, I had a LBL (in two stages), brachioplasty, inner thigh lift and breast lift with implants -- pretty much as many scars as you can have (well, my TT doesn't have the vertical scar, but that's the only one I can think I'm missing!).

I'm nearly two years past the circumferential and a year past the inner thighs and I can tell you, even 3 months out, the scars are not an issue. What you gain in attractiveness for having your body be appropriately shaped so far outweighs those lines. My brachioplasty scars are pretty severe -- the rest healed very, very well. And no one even asks about the brach scars -- it's just not an issue.

Your husband may be put off by your scars in the very early days, more because he'll be afraid of hurting you than because you're unattractive due to the scars. You'll work through it and before you know it, it'll all be behind you.

Two years ago if you told me I'd wear the tiniest bikinis one day, I'd have laughed at you. It's possible. Hang in there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you so much for your reassurances Julie. I know in my heart that this is what I need to do, and that he actually would prefer a scar and a proportionate body than all the loose skin I currently have.

I've lost all this weight and yet I'm more self-concious of my naked body than ever before. He knows this and he knows how it effects my body image.

We also had a few glitches in the preparation for my surgery (my anaesthetist was going to be away and they were having trouble finding a replacement) and it looked like my surgery might be postponed for a few months. It was only when that happened that I realised how much I actually want to do this, and how I'm prepared for the scars and the changes to come.

Luckily it looks like the surgery will go ahead as scheduled on the 2nd of April, after all, and I have to admit that my fears about the resulting scars have abated a lot, especially with your post.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband loved me me when I was 250 lbs and had a bizzlion stretch marks.< /p>

He loved me just as much when I lost 70 lbs and had a big ol jabba the hut flappy belly with a billion stretch marks. He loves me still just as much after my Tummy Tuck to remove that 9 pound jabba belly, and even with the Anchor TT scar and the scars along my hips,

He loves me for me. Your hubby will love you for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lellow,

I don't have a spouse -- but I date and I had a boyfriend at the time I had my plastics and I really worried about the scars. As background, I had a LBL (in two stages), brachioplasty, inner thigh lift and breast lift with implants -- pretty much as many scars as you can have (well, my TT doesn't have the vertical scar, but that's the only one I can think I'm missing!).

I'm nearly two years past the circumferential and a year past the inner thighs and I can tell you, even 3 months out, the scars are not an issue. What you gain in attractiveness for having your body be appropriately shaped so far outweighs those lines. My brachioplasty scars are pretty severe -- the rest healed very, very well. And no one even asks about the brach scars -- it's just not an issue.

Your husband may be put off by your scars in the very early days, more because he'll be afraid of hurting you than because you're unattractive due to the scars. You'll work through it and before you know it, it'll all be behind you.

Two years ago if you told me I'd wear the tiniest bikinis one day, I'd have laughed at you. It's possible. Hang in there.

Julie, nice to see you again, I followed your PS threads way back when I first became a member of LBT. Your were and are a great insperation to many on here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Goyafigs

      I had VSG 11.20.24 with Miguel Burch, MD Cedars-Sinai and I am 1 month post-op. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • DaisyChainOz

      🥳 Jan 1 2025 - Day 1 of Pre Op, surgery on the 16th! 😬😅
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Just been waiting until time for my consult with my bariatric surgeon. It's scheduled for Jan 9th. Turns out I won't actually be seeing him. Apparently it'll be with his P.A.             Not sure what to expect. I thought this is where the surgeon would discuss the best surgery option for me. For years I had my heart set on the sleeve, but I've read so many people have issues with reflux - even if they've never had it before - that they've had to be revised to the bypass. I already deal with GERD & take 40 mg of Omeprazole daily, so I started studying about bypass and honestly, it seems like it might be the better choice for me. How can we discuss surgery options if the surgeon is not there?
      What happened at your first consult? Trying to get an idea of what to expect, or maybe I should say, what NOT to expect.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • rinabobina

      I would like to know what questions you wish you had asked prior to your duodenal switch surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×