Co-Workers

[Ginger2120 0]

I need to know if anyone else has had this problem and how they dealt with it.

At work today I brought in Cookies for everyone. After lunch I went to get one, and one of my co-workers said to me "careful, you shouldn't have too many sweets". I work in a pretty small office so everyone knows that I've had the surgery. I have been so happy and feeling good since my surgery, and today when this woman said this to me I went back to my desk (without a cookie) and cried.

Why does this bother me so much? What should I tell her other than go to hell you know nothing about my situation?

Please Help.....

[Alexandra 55]

Oh, Ginger, I hate that sort of thing. I work in a small office too and know how intimate everyone is. Although not everyone here knows I've had the surgery, everyone has noticed that I'm eating differently. And what we are eating is a favorite topic of conversation around here. :cool:

I think you have to set the tone for how people are going to act. If you wanted that cookie, you should have had it and said, thanks, honey, I've got it under control.

What was her point, anyway? Does she know that with the band eating sweets is not a problem, that it will not cause a physical reaction? Maybe she was warning you off of the dumping syndrome she may have heard about.

Or did she actually think she was telling you something you don't know? Is she a motherly type? Was she trying to be nice and helpful or snide and sarcastic? I'm assuming she's not a good friend, right?

You, like the rest of us, have enough on your mind trying to learn how to live with the band. The LAST thing we need is to worry about what other people are thinking, which is of course harder to do if they're not civil enough to keep their mouths shut.

But you know better. You just be an adult about it and if your colleague can't be, ignore her. Have a cookie next time, and just smile sweetly.

[kellymoos 4]

Or be like me and tell her to go to hell and on her way take a cookie:-) I work with 2 other ladies in my office and they are very understanding; of course with only 3 women in a office you become very close friends and I have explained to them about the whole band "thing" and the fills, etc. Keep your head high and smile! Whatever you do don't let her get to you! Smile!

[donali 57]

This is very hard - I know how bad you felt! We need to remember that we do NOT need anyone else to monitor us, regardless of the reasons they think they're doing it.

I had a similar experience with a guy in my choir. I am very open and vocal, and everyone I know knows I had the band installed. I came in to rehearsal one morning with a large Starbucks frappacino, and this guy said, "Well, there are your calories for the day. What are you going to eat the rest of the day?"

As defensive as I felt, this guy has hurt my feelings before, and somehow I just came out with a smile, and said breezily, "I don't know. I haven't decided yet!" I didn't feel so light and breezy on the inside, though. Sigh.

Next time (and with people like this, there's ALWAYS a next time... lol), perhaps you can something like "Don't worry, my band is taking good care of me."

I do think part of our feeling bad is we still feel guilty when we eat things that are less nutritious. That's what years of diet mentality will do for you. I did feel a little guilty about that frappacino, because it was liquid calories, but I had also decided long before surgery that it was okay to have what I really wanted. I think that attitude kept me from punching him in the nose, or bursting into tears.

:cool:

[Ginger2120 0]

Thank you all for your replies. I feel better about it today, but for some reason yesterday it was enough to make me want to crawl under my desk. This co-worker is a miserable old woman with nothing better to do than watch what I eat. I know I'm tougher than what I was yesterday so she can watch away because I know what I can and can't do. :cool:

Thanks again for all your support!

Janel

[LaughingGirl 1]

Ugh! This is exactly why I haven't told anyone in my work group about this surgery. I don't want to be "supervised" 24/7 by people who have no idea what I'm going through.

People need to learn to mind their own business, especially where personal issues such as eating habits are concerned!! I would never criticize what someone chose to eat, diet or no diet. It's not my place to do that, especially in front of co-workers! That is just rude.

[Alexandra 55]

Originally posted by LaughingGirl

People need to learn to mind their own business, especially where personal issues such as eating habits are concerned!! I would never criticize what someone chose to eat, diet or no diet. It's not my place to do that, especially in front of co-workers! That is just rude.

I completely agree. There is a guy at my office who is married to a wonderful Italian cook. Every day for lunch he brings in some phenomenal dish, most often some sort of Pasta. OK, so he eats a lot of Pasta. He's a perfectly normal man, tall and well-filled-out, but not at all fat. Yet the people in our office who have embraced the low-carb life simply will not leave him alone! Every time he takes out his lunch it's another round of ridicule.

The guy himself is one of those people who thinks being teased makes him one of the gang, so just brushes off all the comments, but it ticks me off for him! I can't stand that sort of thing. Grrrr.

[bobby_hamrick 0]

I would see this as support as I have had this very thing happen. I was eating a slice of pizza and my coworker was like man you can't be eating that stuff!! I have lost 20+ lbs since this began and I know what I can eat and can't. However this was supportive in my opinion. I think everyone who wants to lose weight is watching to see me waste away... Maybe I can be motivation for them which helps me stay true to my diet at work too. I have to set an example now!!!

just a thought..

[claraluz 2]

I know that hurt at the time. There are so many things you could have said and I'm sure you've thought of them all by now. Since you know this woman is bound to make another comment in the future, it probably would be a good idea to consider how you will respond. Then you'll be prepared. Sometimes a "Thank you for your concern" as you take the cookie is all that is required. Sort of a polite way of saying "Go to hell."

Nancy

[Leannie 0]

Ginger:

This may sound like a stupid question to some, but I just joined this site and don't know what the numbers below your name mean. Is it your weight? Have you lost a lot of weight? If so, that co-worker might be jealous. You know how women can be.

I work with about 30 women and all are very nice, BUT I've only told one person that I'm going to have the surgery and I actually regret telling her. It was a very hard decision to make and very personal. I'm going to Mexico to have mine done in December while we're on Chrismas break. I can only imagine what most of them would say if they knew. Sometimes I think I'm crazy myself, but I've tried everything else and I'm willing to take the risk.

I started dieting and exercising about 6 weeks ago so I could lose some weight now. That way it would come as no surprise that I was losing weight. It's also making me feel better right now. Maybe after I've lost quite a bit I'll confess. We'll see.

Leannie

[bbrecruiter2000 1]

Leannie,

The numbers are weight. Mine is 334/274/180 which represents my starting weight a few days pre op. My present weight is the middle number and desired goal weight is the third number. Good luck with your surgery in December.

Babs in TX

[GeezerSue 7]

Ginger,

DO prepare yourself with an answer for future "helpfulness." Or, take her aside BEFORE she has another opportunity and say something like, :nervous "The other day, you were very concerned and trying to be helpful when you warned me about having too many sweets. I hope I didn't offend you when I walked away! You see, a very important part of my expensive 'band education' is to learn to ignore everything except the signals I'm getting from my body. I hope you'll understand if I have to walk away again, but it's doctor's orders and I really do have to ignore everything and everyone else when it comes to food."

Or you could do what I'd probably do and tell her to butt out. But then I have no people skills.

~~~

Leannie,

Tell that one woman you've told about your surgery that you are doing so well with your current program you just may not go through with surgery. If she "buys" that lie, stick to it! :cool:

Good luck!

~~~

Sue