Has this ever happened to any of you?

[divaliciousdee 0]

Almost everybody knows that I am getting the LapBand procedure done. Thanks in most part to my talkative friends. It wasn't a big secret but somedays I think I should have just kept it to myself. I work in a hospital that just started doing Lapbands this March. They were doing RNY since 2001 but now Lapbanding is on the rise. Well I have noticed that about all of my friends are now dieting and exercising. They bring their lunches to work instead of eating out. One of my friends actually switched to all soy products. They are all smaller than me the heaviest one is about 235lbs. They all got together and decided to diet because they were not gonna let me get smaller than them so now they have to get going losing weight cause the band is gonna make me skinny fast. They have no idea that the band is a tool to help me. It kinda hurt my feelings. I mean knowing your friends are trying to keep true the fact that you are stilll the biggest one. I guess after 20 years of being the fattest one, they are afraid. I have a great personality and meet people with ease but the one up they have on me is they are not obese. I know that with more self confidence I will be something to reckon with and they know it too. Why wouldn't you want your best friend to experience what you take for granted? I go shopping with them at places where I can only fit through the door cause nothin else fits. I love them but this hurts I mean what limit will they go . The smallest one is 5'0 and she weighs 138lbs she is trying to get to 115 now . I go what the Heck are you doing? Well i am done venting but seriously has anyone else had this to happen?

[Penni60 45]

Ok take a different stance on this instead of thinking negatively thing positively. They could be dieting because they wanna get healthier. They could be doing it because they wanna be able to keep up with you. You inspired them to lose their unwanted pounds. If they are your good friends like you mention then I doubt they are dieting this out of a malicious nature. I imagine they are dieting to get in shape and to keep up with you not make you feel bad. Have you spoken to them about why all of a sudden they are dieting? I would turn it into a positive thing. The negative thinking only brings you down.

[divaliciousdee 0]

Well Penni I though that at first. They all told me one night while we were out that they couldn't let me outdo them and get smaller than they are.

[dylansmom 27]

Yes, my husband's aunt did this to me too. She always asks whenever I see her if I'm still losing or how much I've lost so far. I guess shortly after I had my surgery she started dieting too. She does this to everyone though. She is a very jealous person by nature, and has made comments to me in the past about "people my size". Since having the surgery and losing weight she hasn't made any of those comments to me. *smirk*

[Rae 2]

After I had my surgery, I had a friend who dicided to go on a diet to keep up with me. It only lasted a couple of weeks and now she isn't doing anything. So hang in there maybe they will get tired of it also. But you have the "tool" to keep going. Good Luck

[Jachut 487]

The difference is you'll probably keep the weight off forever, they probably wont.

Honestly, THAT is why Im considering a band so seriously. I honestly think if I can lose the weight with the band, I could also do it without. To me, dieting is not the hard part, I'm actually sure that for a while I could be a star patient, particularly since I love the gym with a passion. Its keeping it going past 10-15kg and keeping it OFF that really gives most people problems.

They'll lose weight, sure but so will you and you will lose more and you will keep it off.

[divaliciousdee 0]

Thanks everyone. I know my friends mean well but I have lost hundreds of pounds over my lifetime. I can diet and exercise but I am not consistent enough. The longest I have ever gone is 1 year. I slacked up a little and then spiralled out of control gaining back the 70 I lost plus 25 more! I am not in competition with them I just want to know what it is like to be able to go in a shop and pick something off of a rack instead of specialty ordering and travelling to the fat lady store(although the fat lady store still rocks it ain't like it was when I was in school no polyester pants, LOL) I want to be able to get on a rollercoaster without having to guess if I would fit. I don't ride them cause I don't want the embarassment of having them say sorry u are too big. I want to jet ski, scuba dive everything that I am afraid to do now. I have let weight control me all of my life this time I want the control. I feel the band will help me tremendously!

[Alexandra 55]

You said both of these things:

They all told me one night while we were out that they couldn't let me outdo them and get smaller than they are....I know my friends mean well

Sorry, that doesn't jibe for me. If my friends told me this I'd be wondering what kind of friends they were to say something like that. Unless it was said with TOTAL good cheer and laughter, and even then I'd be suspect. I had a cousin-in-law who actually said "if you get skinny I'll hate you" and she said it with a huge smile. Charming. She didn't mean well at all, even though she wished me the best in so many words.

Of course you know their attitudes say A LOT about them and nothing at all about you. You are taking a major step toward controlling your weight and getting and STAYING healthy, while they're just on yet another diet. The two have nothing in common.

I'm not suggesting you get angry or anything, sorry if it sounds that way. But comments like that just make me think much less of anyone who says it, like a little window into their personality revealing a little more unpleasantness than before. Phooey.

[Oh 2 Be Free 0]

As I read this thread, it makes me look into myself. I have a very good friend that found out in Dec. '03 that in Feb '04 she would be able to get her Gastric Bypass done. All paid for by her insurance. I was happy for her genuinely, but inside I wished it could've been me.

I decided that come Jan 1st, my ultimate goal would be to lose the extra weight I had been hauling around my whole life. Knowing that she would be getting her surgery, I was trying to get a good headstart so that we could be "skinny" together. I did well, I lost about 70 lbs in 4 months. I called her from time to time with updates on my progress, and she always seemed happy for me.

Needless to say, she had her surgery and in no time surpassed my weight loss. I quit my diet soon after that and after about a year have just about gained it back. She is now down about 115lbs.

Okay to the point... I got on a diet because I was inspired by her and needed a reason to try yet another diet. But in the process (now looking back) I probably drove her nuts about my weight loss while she was waiting for her surgery. And after reading this I hope that I didn't make her feel like your friends made you feel. I never had bad intentions, maybe your friends are so busy trying to succeed that they don't even know they are making you feel this way. I would've never wanted to hurt my friends feelings, but now I think I might've.

I gotta go call her.. and apologize! Just in Case!

[piercedqt78 658]

I have a sister that is almost 12 years older than me and we have both struggled with out weight for a long time. When I first decided to do the band she was very negative, and came up with all of these horror stories about people slipping into comas and starving to death with the band. I let her negative attitude slid right off my back, then I got approved and she actually asked for my surgeons information, she was now considering the band herself!!! Then she called her insurance (Aetna) and they told her the requirements and she did not meet them (no supervised weightloss, no documented failed diets, etc). Well fast forward 1 month, I have my band and I am losing weight and look and feel great, she is starting the Atkins diet (again) and she calls me everyday to say that she has already lost 4 pounds and my BIL has lost 12, he also works out at a gym for 90 mins everyday and does powerlifting. I say that is great I really hope you both do well and lose all of the access weight. In the mean time she is calling my mom and talking down about the band and how unhealthy it is and how glad she is that she snapped out of the funk that made her consider doing that to herself. There is alot of strain in our relationship right now and it may be there forever, it may pass who knows? I am affraid that if it passes and she falls off the atkins diet wagon yet again she will always resent me for losing and keeping it off with my band.I know how you are feeling right now, but don't have any advice for you, just a common shoulder to cry on. ~Mandy

[divaliciousdee 0]

Thanks Angie and Mandy(hey that rhymes)

I am still going through with the band. I too have heard all of the negative people equate with the band. I have to do what is best for me. Besides my sister (there are just us two girls) is getting married next year and I am the Maid(when will this change!, sorry I digress) anyway I am the maid of honor. She is 3 years younger than me and all of my family is like when are you gonna settle down. Well I am gonna get married on August 29th to my band. Together next year July we will attend the wedding and have the time of our life!! Hopefully alot healthier cause I want so much to dance at my sisters wedding all night long. Celebrate!!!!

[Marimaru 7]

Sounds pretty snakey of those friends to act like that (and actually TELL you that's why they are dieting). My mom and my sister have started dieting (harder) since I got my band, and my sister is actually where she wants to be. She only had about 15 lbs, and my mom about 30 (down to prolly 15 now), but my banding helped them eat less, because they watched what I was eating, etc. They did it for themselves, not to be against me or anything. My mom proudly talks about the day when I'll be smaller than her (heh, maybe someday).

Just make sure you continue to do this for YOU, and don't let it be a contest with anyone but yourself. It's hard, and I went through alot of bitterness watching people who were banded after me lose more faster, or whatever, but now I'm over myself (haha) and I'm much happier this way.

The band will help you lose the weight and KEEP IT OFF (re-emphasis on KEEP IT OFF). I have a feeling that they'll either get where they are going and start gaining back, or not even ever get to goal before they give up. That's what always happened to me when I was dieting, and I think the REASON they are dieting is only going to make their giving up more inevitable (in my opinion). I don't wish the need to lose weight on anyone, but they are asking for it, lol.

[divaliciousdee 0]

Thanks Sarah and looking at your stats I se you have lost 50lbs! That is great! I don't care how slow or fast it comes off just as long as it comes off and stays off! All of you on this site are ROCKSTARS in my book!