Dating

[CoachCher 1]

Hey this for the singles out there.

Do you find dating harder or easier now that you have had your band?

Do you think it would be easier to date someone who has had "WLS" regardless of the surgery? My thinking is it would take away all the explanation of why you eat the way you do and such. I'm just throwing this out there, because I know for me dating is a pain and I wanted to know if other's feel the same way I do.

[lapbandtalker 0]

The band has not changed my dating at all; however, I am more cautious of what I eat/how fast when at singles meetings.

Wouldn't want to get something stuck or slime-that's really attractive!

[Crishell 0]

I have never done alot of dating. Been overweight all of my life, even as teenager. Before my weightloss, I was very shy and self-conscious. Now that I feel better about myself & have a better selection of clothes, I get more compliments and double takes from men of all ages. I now have the desire to date but feel like I have been left back in time and out of practice. I know I need to get out there and get some exposure but have been very cautious and apprehensive about accepting offers to go out. I have one male friend that I go out with occasionally and he has gotten used to my new eating habits. Even when i have to chew slowly and he finishes well ahead of me. There have been a few times i have experienced something getting stuck in his presence or it moves slow but he is cool with it. We have known each other for 15 years so he knew me before my weightloss. He has been very supportive and understanding & I talk to him often about my weightloss/band issues. But I don't know what to expect or how I would feel about being with a new person.

[JeepGal 0]

I HATE dating with the band!! When ever I'm nervous about ANYTHING I get so tight I can't eat. And what do you do on first dates? GET NERVOUS!! And what do you do when you meet someone's family for the first time? GET NERVOUS!! I mean really anything big that comes up, I stress about it and get stuck.

I haven't actually told anyone that I've been out with that I've had the band. I don't think it's any of their business, but it sure is awkward having a full plate infront of you and you only pushed your food around for 45 minutes!!! HAHAHAH

This stuff happens on a regular basis to me. It sucks a lot. :tt2: Oh well, I wouldn't be on the date if it weren't for the band...I guess it's a toss up! LoL

[rondawood63 0]

I am just now starting to date again. I guess after two divorces and one other long term relationship under my belt I am a little gun shy to say the least. I really am not looking for a long term thing, just someone to hang out with and do things together that I won't do by myself. So far if anyone has asked about my eating habits, I have told them. I don't feel I have anything to hide. I am proud of what I have done and if they can't handle it then they weren't for me anyway! At least this sounds good on paper?!?!?!?

[Babe 0]

sadly, i've never really dated before. been overweight my whole life, and i guess i've never had the confidence to put myself out there before. i'm a bit nervous about that whole aspect of my life changing as i lose weight. frankly, i don't think the eating is what'll be on my mind once i'm dating.

[susan1961 0]

I wasn't heavy until my 30's, and I've been up and down ever since. I dated lots in my 20's and have been married and divorced. Bottom line for me: I won't date if I'm overweight, for a variety of reasons, including that I don't attract the attention of men I find attractive, so that has kept me out of the game the last few years. I will probably be open to the idea again another 20lbs from now (which will be a size 12).

I don't feel like my eating is all that strange. I just don't eat huge portions anymore. I see myself as eating like a thin person. I don't imagine it will provoke questions. I go out to dinner a few times a week, eat lunch out most days, and my eating has never attracted attention.

I wouldn't tell someone I was casually dating about the band. I would tell someone with whom I was in a relationship.

[TQUAD64 9]

I have not had time to date. Between the commute, work, school, family & friend obligations it is hard to get involve.

I am open to dating with or without the band. However, it is going to take a strong man to catch me and keep up with me. He better have lots of energy.

[wstorms 2]

I have no problem telling someone I have the band. I figure if that scares someone off good riddance!!! I did not get the band to be skinnier so I could date. I date/have dated while being overweight. I got the band to be healthier for me. So I guess it just does not bother me. Though I know everyone is different.

[Firedad53073 4]

Its funny. now that i have lost a lot of weight i have had gals talk to me that would not even give me the time of day. I dont want some one that only talks to me because of what i look like i want someone that actually cares who i am and what I am about.

[Kimmy in MD 0]

This is a good topic and one that has been on my mind lately. I date with the band. In general, i don't tell people I have a band. It is really none of their business, but with that said, there does come a time when you kind of need to reveal that you have the band or be seen as really odd because of your eating habits.

So far it hasn't scared anyone off, just opens up some questions for them which I usually answer. I find that the 3rd or 4th meal is about when I feel I need to confess and clarify why it takes me an hour to finish an appetizer and why I never drink anything while eating or why I don't share their beer with them when offered.

I guess the other worry is that they will feel my port when their arms are around my waist dancing, hugging. I know it would freak me out if I felt something hard on someones stomach!

[notateechanow 7]

I love dating now! I am so happy to be single and at this size. I haven't had much of a dating life in the past--before now I typically met a guy, became good friends, and things progressed from there. I get a lot of attention from men and a lot of phone numbers. I'm loving my new life.

I will say that life is more complicated and the band has definitely created huge complications. I focus more on my date, whatever we're doing, and allow myself to appreciate his company while trying to steer away from food. It's not about the food--it's about the date, right?

I'm not very comfortable with the intimacy aspect, but that's why I keep it superficial until I'm ready to be with someone I know who will accept me---scars and all. Life is good. :sneaky: