New Member

[turtlenladybug 0]

Hi everyone!

Actually I am the Husband of this sweet lady. We are beginning to discuss this Surgery and will need some help and encouragement.

I joined because my wife is sooo skeptical of people and their intensions. She has lost her will to socialize completely due to the way people treat her. I was hoping some of you would email her and help her to gain the strengh and courage get this process started for her.

Her name is Deborah, she is the sweetest most kind person in the world. I would like to see her attend Church and go shopping and things like that again.

Please help if you've a mind to..

[Brockbabe82 0]

I think it is great that you are so supporting of your wife. If I can answer any questions just let me know. Good luck to you and your wife.

[PATCHELTON 0]

What I would suggest is your and your wife attend a bariatric seminar at the hospital you are considering using(usually it is free and you have no obligation to go forward with the process, but if you do the seminar is normally a required first step). They explain all the different procedures, what to expect, and some of what is expected of the person having surgery.

Next I would call the surgeon's office and find out when the bariatric support groups meet. They could be combined or separate (at my hospital the gastric bypass and sleeve group meets the first Monday of the month, lapbanders the third Monday of the month, 6-7pm). People at all stages come, those thinking about it, pre-ops getting ready for surgery, recent post-ops, and post-ops several months to years out from surgery. Issues come up, and they are discussed, questions get asked and answered. Some meetings have themes, like getting through the holidays, or nutrition, sometimes a guest speaker (we had a plastic surgeon one month). Best of all you can network with other people at the same stage or different stage than you and you can learn a lot. I had surgery 3/25/08. I started going to group support the previous July. I joined here in November. I had to do a 6 month diet for insurance so I spent the time learning all I could about the lapband, and worked in increasing my exercise (I mostly just walk). I also visited obesityhelp.com and read all about the different surgeries.

There are several good books out, and you can find most on Amazon.com. I have The Lapband Connection and The Lapband Companion. There are also cookbooks there too. A nice easy cookbook I have has recipes by weight loss surgery patients. It can be found on livingafterwls.com.

The better informed you are, the better you will feel about your decision. You and your wife can find lots of support here. Choose a hospital that has a Bariatric Center of Excellence rating and take advantage of all the resources they have to offer. The band is just a tool. It is not magic. It helps control portions (which is what I needed most) but it is still up to you to choose healthier foods. Now, instead of a 12-15 inch pizza loaded with toppings, I have a crustless pizza I make at home in the microwave with low fat turkey pepperonis and fat free shredded cheese. You both need you get your head around eating differently, and exercising. The band is more of a challenge if you have a sweet tooth, and exercise is critical to success with the band. If you can only walk a block today, do that. And again tomorrow. By next week it could be two blocks. It is never too late, but never is too late. Good luck with your journey.

If it would help I can email you my before picture. I have to scan it at home, so email me at patchelton@aol.com. I came across it recently (my 60th birthday party) and even I had to say "Oh my God!" I haven't taken an after picture but I need to. The numbers in my signature are for real. The bariatric nurse told me I weigh less than she does now (she is an open gastric bypass post op from several years ago).

[mountainmomma 0]

You are so awesome to be there supporting her!

I am also a newbie here and I have to say this is truly a wonderful bunch of people online. I know as I am sure most of us do how your wife feels. I still feel like that and I am post op 4 weeks, I have to say most of my real friends are back in Florida, can't say as much for being in Texas 12 years, so I keep in very close contact with them, even have a couple that are bypass pts, so they help too. But for now you can just take her to support groups and get her going, These people are not going to treat her differently or bad, cause we are all in the same boat. Good Luck and More power to you! Gina