who knew it would be this hard

[missbumbleebee 0]

I have been banded for a year and a half and i was 13 lbs under my goal. Ramdonly lost all restriction a few months a ago and am now seven lbs under my goal. I remember the days when I just wanted to be 190 lbs (my weight at surgery was 252) and now being at 143 is the most depressing thing. I hate the way I look. I feel huge all the time and all I crave is getting down to 120. I know the fixation is insane and I know I should focus on being healthy and not thin but I can't help it.

I guess I went from one extreme to another. I wonder if anyone else is feeling this way.

[Babe 0]

i'm not banded yet, so i can't quite relate... however, it would seem to me that after losing all that weight, your perspective of what is acceptable or not changes. for as long you can remember you've probably fantasized about being 120, and now that it's within your grasp, you're naturally disappointed at not attaining it yet. maybe you should sit down with yourself and ask why you want to be 120. Is it realistic? what would it mean if you achieved that goal? what if you never did? would it change who you are or make you less somehow?

you've gone through a drastic change in so many ways, maybe you should talk with a counsellor or with your doctor about this.

[Jachut 487]

I can so understand this. I had a figure in my head and it drives me nuts that I never got there, even though my BMI is only 22 now.

I guess I want to look like a fitness model, lol. I want muscles and no flab at all and its just not realistic and I know it. But I cant stop trying to better myself, and sometimes its a fine line between exercising diligently to maintain my weight and trying to achieve a body I'll never ever have.

I resist any follow up plastic surgery because instinctively I know it will only open the floodgates. Once I fix say my saddlebags, I'm going to obsess over something else. So I'm working very hard to try to realise that I'm in great shape, I'm very healthy and that's what really counts. I did one of those what's your real age tests today (only an online one, just some fun) and my real age came out at 32. Given I'm 41 I should be thrilled with that. That's where my focus needs to be - health, not appearance.

the other thing that pulls me up on the liposuction fantasies is that I'm 41. I *AM* going to get old. Everything *IS* going to sag. I cannot be 20 again no matter what I do. The people I admire are not perfect, and the people I think look stunning are always quirky, interesting and stylish in their own way, never that awful blonde bimbo white teeth big tits look, so what am I trying to achieve exactly? I could solve all my bikini stomach angst by one simple action - wearing a one piece!

Its so hard, isnt it? But I find it IS getting better for me the longer I'm at goal.

Edited January 21, 2009 by Jachut

[SuzanneG 1]

For me, it's not as much about how I look as it is about finishing this thing. I'm actually pleased with how I look in my clothes, I'm a size 8 right now and I'm OK with that.

However, I picked my goal weight based on BMI, I want to be toward the middle of the normal range. Right now, I'm just a couple pounds above, so I'm technicaly still overweight.

I can NOT get the scales to move for me all of a sudden. The first 76 pounds really came off on their own. Yes I followed most of the rules and made a conscious effort to eat the correct foods in the proper amounts. Although, I've always allowed myself the occasional glass of wine, chips, candy, etc. I figured if I had to do this forever, I wanted it to be doable and fit in with my lifestyle.

So here I am, 15 pounds above my goal. Doc says he's happy and that I should reconsider my goal. I feel like I've run a marathon, only to fall on my face within sight of the finish line. I don't want to quit and go home, I want to finish the race.

Having said all of that, I work 82 miles from my job and consequently spend a LOT of time sitting down. I get up at 4am and get home at 7pm, I just don't have time for big workout sessions. I do however, walk the stairs at work (I'm on the 10th floor and walk them 3-6 times a day) and have started trying to do pullups at home. These are things I can do whenever I have a minute and don't have to schedule an hour for working out.

Jacqui, I know you are going to get after me for this. I know what an exercise buff you are and I envy you, but is there anything else I can do to get this train rolling again?

This week I have charted my food on DailyPlate and kept my carbs and calories low and this morning I was UP 1/2 a pound! I feel all my old diet frustrations boiling to the surface again and am becoming concerned that I may not jump this hurdle. I haven't lost weight since early December.

Any suggestions?

[Jachut 487]

Suzanne, I'm not going to get into you, lol. I'm the first to admit I have a set of very lucky circumstances at the moment that work in my favour - I'm a student and SAHM, with few work commitments, and I live in a city where I can exercise outdoors all year round, plus I have a treadmill at home. I'm not sure how well I'll do myself when I'm back at full time work next year, I'm positive I'll end up doing less than I do now.

[SuzanneG 1]

Thanks Jacqui. I'm having problems right now keeping my blood sugar stable while I exercise (I'm hypoglycemic). I stepped up my routine last week and had major bs problems over the weekend. I talked with my health and wellness rep at work and he suggested I see a diatician.

By the way, what are your thoughts on treadmill vs. real running? I was thinking about trying to do the couch to 5k, but outside is not an option here for a few more months. I've heard some say that running on a treadmill is nothing like running outside, that treadmill is more like jumping jacks since you aren't truly propelling your body forward.

[Jachut 487]

Well its going to be over 40 degrees celcius here for the next four days, starting today. Its quite cool right now (7.30 am) so I'm heading out for what will probably be my only outside session this week!

Other than that, I'll be on the treadmill in the airconditioning this week! I might go and do a spin class or something for variety.

Treadmills are great when the weather isnt conducive to outdoor exercise, and I think they're great anyway.

True, it isnt the same as outdoor running, which is almost always harder. But its a pretty close substitute and it wouldnt take you long to get your "land legs" outside if you want to do a race or something. Always put the incline on 1-2% to simulate a more natural terrain and concentrate on not pulling the treadmill (or the road for that matter) towards YOU, but on propelling yourself forward with your legs.

The key to being successful with exercise is being resourceful - so that weather and stuff doesnt get in your way and if that means a treadmill, then there's nothing second rate about that.

[Lauren_Dew 53]

I can definitely relate to this thread. I am 10 months out and just under 10 lbs outside of my normal BMI range. And i know that is pretty awesome, but the problem is that i have been at this point for like 4 months. I haven't been in losing mode for forever. I would say that 90% of the time i am loving how easily i maintain my weight, but the other 10% of the time i am wondering if i will never get to a healthy weight or will I just inch my way back to where i came from.

Sometimes i forget how far i've come and i think i get the urge to get lower just to recapture that feeling of "entering new territory" (you know, getting to a weight i've never seen before). I think i miss the excitement and motivation of losing. Maintaining is different.

[SuzanneG 1]

Thanks for the info Jacqui.

dewl, you just put into words what I've been feeling. Now the question is, can we break out of this or is this as good as it gets? Of course this if amazing compared to where we came from, but I keep asking myself if I'm ever going to move the scale again. It's been since early December and I'm starting to have my doubts.

[slimmy120 2]

Jacqui i know you have been at goal for a while, when you put on half a kilo, or even 1kg - when i put on a kilo i freak, do you really watch what you eat?excercise more? how often do you weigh? i have been weighing one or two times a week. been having sweet cravings lately, trying to have healthy fruit, low cal deserts etc. do you take Vitamins, i am eating everything so havent taken vitamins in months, i know i should be drinking more Water instea of coffees and tea.any good advice appreciated.:biggrin:

[Mechbandster 0]

I am about 7 pounds away from the goal I made before the surgery. My doc and family all say that I can stop losing, but it is hard not to get that goal. They told me to stop 10lbs ago, but I have just slowed the weight loss and not stopped. I am still technically "overweight" until I hit 220lbs, but I know that the BMI calculator is not exact for every person. I am probably at normal BMI now, but I still can't shake the urge to get to 220.

Maybe I should just get to 220, then let myself gain alittle back. Then I can say I made it.

[thinner09 0]

I know exactly how everyone here feels. I am 10 lbs away from my goal, my doctor said that I am basically done losing weight now unless I lose it on my own. My BMI is now classified as no longer obese, and I am just overweight. My problem is that I worked so hard, for so long, that being considered overweight is just not good enough for me. I am grateful for this journey and all the weight I have lost (79lbs) but in order for me to complete this and go on to mainenance, I feel my BMI needs to be a normal weight, which is another 10 lbs. That being said, my scale is not moving. This seems to be the 3rd plateau I have hit. I am very patient at this point though and I am not giving up even if it takes another year to reach my goal. It's very frustrating at times though.

[Lauren_Dew 53]

Thinner09, i feel exactly the way you do! I really want to get to a healthy weight, even if it takes another year to get there and i think that's the beauty of the band, i believe i will continue to inch my way down, because instead of gaining it all back and having to start over, i am able to maintain my loss and then get another burst of motivation and take a bit more off. I am chipping away!

As for my doctor(s), they are thrilled at where i'm at now, but they haven't told me that i'm done or anything! That would be kinda demotivating. What they have said is that from a health perspective, the difference between my current weight and my goal of "normal bmi weight" is very small.

Regardless, i want to see the 130s!!! And if i'm honest, i'd love to see the 120s! :scared2: We'll see what happens! And frankly, i'm trying to get pregnant right now, so all that might just have to be put on hold anyway!

[Mechbandster 0]

I found this website about how to figure your BMI and it made me feel alittle better.

Home Body Fat Test

i always felt that the height and weight BMI chart is alittle too basic and doesn't consider how much lean mass a person has. I don't think this site is perfect either, but I think that it takes more things into account so I feel it could be alittle more accurate.

[imwiththebandnyc 0]

This thread is completely inspiring. I know that some of you are struggling with losing that "last 10 pounds" or so-- and I understand that where you are (or have been, this thread is old already) is hard too.

I wish to have these problems-- some of your problems literally sound like stuff I could run into.

I am currently in the 190's at 5'4 and once weighed 123 pounds as an adult. I remember that time fondly and in horror-- it was after a clinical depression and people started asking me if I had an eating disorder.

Anyway: I know I look good at 155, but I am pretty dedicated to at least seeing 136, which is a happy weight for me or has been in the past.

My advice: perhaps talk to the nutritionist in your doc's office or a new one if you really want to take off the last few pounds. Perhaps a minor overhaul of your eating will jumpstart you again to the 'final' success.

Congrats on all of your great progress!!!