What reactions have you had since surgery?

[thinkingslim70 0]

Hi Everyone

I'm wondering what reactions you've had from family and friends?

I'm 6 weeks post op but have lost a fair bit of weight to the point that every where I go people notice and make positive comments which is lovely EXCEPT - my 2 closest friends. They were supportive initially but now tell me that all I ever talk about is food, exercise and clothes. This just isn't true, the only time I mention it is when someone comments or asks me questions. I don't know how to handle their current reaction to me.

So I'm hoping by you sharing your stories (good and bad) that might help me understand.

[LISAMARIE1158 0]

Continue doing what you're doing...sounds like they are jealious...you have reason to be proud..

[thinkingslim70 0]

Thank you. I really hope its not jealousy cos I thought our friendship was much stronger than that.

[LISAMARIE1158 0]

Just remember you are the one getting all the attention right now..l feel like l have the same situation going on...Not that my friends are really jealious, but l think they hate me getting all the attention right now..No matter where we go or what we do, someone is excited for me...lt will all pass in time...

[SunnyCoconut 0]

Thinkingslim70 - A friend of mine had her surgery a year and a half ago (before I even started my journey). Everytime I would see her, at some point in the visit she would go into too much detail. One time we went to dinner and she ordered a margarita, I said, "Oh, you can still have alcohol?" And she went into this huge explaination of beer and bubbles and regurgitation and the size of the stomach opening and more stories of regurgitation. To tell you truth it was a little nausiating. While she was reviewing the menu, she would give explainations of why she couldn't eat each different dish. And when the food came, she would go thru a big production of getting the To Go box right away and explaining it all to the server at length. Then she would comment on how fast I chew or how she could never eat that much food now, or even the types of food on my plate and why she couldn't and what would happen if she did. When I complimented her jacket, I had to hear about all her other clothes that don't fit, how she has to buy a new size every couple weeks, how her work uniforms don't fit, how her bra sizes keep changing, etc...

I know her surgery is life altering and it affects all areas of her life. I think she looks amazing and I am so happy for her. It's just my friend who used to be such a great jokster and lighthearted fun friend has become a surgical text book about vomiting and bodily functions and sutures and hair loss. Sometimes it can be a downer. I would never complain directly to her because I understand this is so huge to her.

Now here is the kicker, I am going for surgery on Feb 4th. I catch myself sometimes answering friends' questions in too much detail. I try to remind myself of my friend and only answer what I am asked.

I'm sure your friends are very happy for you and are supportive in their hearts. Maybe they have heard too much or too often. Even the best stories will lose their effect if heard too often. It doesn't make the story any less impressive but the response given maybe less impressive.

[Totallytater 1]

I am hiding the fact that I had the surgery. It is a secret, even from my best friend. Luckily she is dieting too, so she talks about food choices, exercise and clothes even more than I do. It also makes it nice on our girls nights out because we both try to outdo each other on how great of a food choice we can make.

[TQUAD64 9]

Hi thinkingslim:

I have not told anyone about my surgery. However, I did tell my sister since she was my medical emergency contact, just in case something went wrong. Anyway, I see my family on a regular basis, but they have not commented on my weight loss.

However, my co-workers have noticed and are making comments on how much healthier I look. I thank them for noticing all my hard work and tell them I am exercising like crazy and tracking calories. Which is the truth.

Congrats on your success and keep up the good work.

[CapitolChick 1]

I find people's true colors come out blazing.

Truly kind people that either I am friends with or who I work with, are supportive and excited for me.

Others, who I tried to be friends or work with - only "liked" me when I was near 300lbs because it made them feel better about themselves and their own issues.

I always knew people could be like this, but when it actually happened to me. I have to say I am a little taken back and it kind of makes me pissed (and makes we want to try harder and to get to my goal wt).

In a way I look at these women who are so catty and see how ugly they are.

If you have ever seen the movie - Shallow Hal.. that is what is happending to me when I look at these former "friends".

[Emilie1 3]

I saw this thread out here earlier today and passed it up, but a little while later I was outside and a neighbor I don't know well and don't see often commented that I look like a totally new person. He asked me how I did it and I did not share about my surgery. Sometimes I do share others times I don't share. I also know when I start talking about it I go over board on how we should eat, small portions, small bites, eat slow, chew, chew, chew.

[thinkingslim70 0]

Thanks everyone. I thought that I had been pretty conservative about talking about the surgery bare minimum details, but obviously not enough. I wont be mentioning it to my so called "close" friends anymore. I am very disappointed though as I feel I have always been there for them for a variety of reasons. I think from now on i will be much vaguer about how i've lost weight when asked and for people who already know and comment I will simply say thank you and hope they don't ask questions.