Scared/Nervous-Second guessing myself

[kteggers 0]

I'm 31, 390lbs and 5'5". I know, very large. I'm not good at getting my point across, so I hope this post makes sense. I go this Wednesday for my 6th month weight in, a pre-op diet class, medical evaluation, dietician consult, physical activity evaluation and to schedule the surgery. I'm almost to the end of this part of my journey. It seems like I just started this! I haven't managed to loose anything (i suck) so I'm really second guessing myself about the surgery. If I can't loose anything while seeing a nutrisionalist for 6 months, can I really loose anything even with the band? My head is spinning right now, one day I want the band more than anything and I'm pumped! I eat wonderful and excercise and everything is perfect. Then the next day I fail and eat like a hog. I'm scared to go through with the surgery just for me to fail again. I have it in my head that this is different and I'm not going to let myself go through all this, just to sabotage myself, but then again, it's possible? It's a scary thought.

I feel like the morning before you get married, where you are second guessing the whole "togethor forever" idea. I'm at that morning I think.

Can you tell me one thing, was this worth it?

[TQUAD64 9]

Totally worth it!

Your post makes sense to me. I questioned myself over and over before having this procedure. I researched and thought about it for about 2-years.

The day I was in the pre-op room being prepped for the surgery, I thought what would happen if I just sneaked out of here? I can just run away and skip this surgery. But I stuck with it and I am glad I did.

During the 6-month supervised diet, I did not lose weight.. I think if anything I lost maybe 4 pounds. When I started I was 5'6" at 251 pounds. I was around a 41/42 BMI. I thought the same thing you did. My insurance company is never going to approve me, because I cannot lose weight. But they did approve and I did have the surgery.

My other fear was what if I just cannot stop eating. I had HUGE Portion Control issues. I was always hungry. What if I fail???

Well, I can only eat so much with the Band. Seriously, I get full and very little. I was eating 3,000 to 3,500 calories a day. Now I am at ,1,200 with a good fill. I am not hungry looking for food all the time. I am not failing.

You can do this, because there have been so many other people on this forum who have done this and who are in the process of doing this. You have support here!

You will not regret your decision. You deserve a healthy life, so give yourself a healthy life!

[~~Beth~~ 1]

Yes, it makes sense

In some ways that is. First you need to get ride of the negative words "I suck", "eating like a hog", and "if I CAN'T", if you say these enough that is what you are going to expect and nothing less. Set you mind to "That’s awesome" "Great job" and "really" these are positive terms that you relate to with every situation you go thru not just weight loss.

I would get discourage with every diet I would try, and of course there was always an excuse, but when I came upon the opportunity for the Band, my mind was made up, there was no second guesses, no excuses, I mean WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOOSE BESIDES WEIGHT? Right? And that is what we all need / needed to do, or we would be here on this forum looking for support.

My suggestion to you is, get positive - this is a positive change, and once you truly believe in yourself you will succeed.

[kteggers 0]

Thanks for your feedback. Your right, I'm too hard and negative on myself. I've always been that way. It's because I'd rather admit that I know I'm large rather than have someone tell me. Or diss myself before others can diss me to my face.

I really appreciate your posts. Your both so right! What do I have to loose? I know I want it and I know I can do it.

Thanks again!

[baylee9866 0]

I go in tomorow at 6:30 a.m. the first surgery of the day

(my Dr. uses a surgery center) I am soooo excited and just like you, I have been trying to make up reasons not to go. The what if's are killing me :cursing: I was SUPPOSED to be on all liquids for 2 weeks, well I cheated 3 times.... if I can't do this how am I going to make it through post op and not cause slippage... so many questions.

Looking back at the last 2 years of my life, I have been so tired. I have days when I do not even want to get out of bed, my husband comes home to put my kids on the bus because I feel horrible. I do not hang out with my friends anymore because I am enbaressed at how I look.

BUT

Tomorow will be the first day of my NEW life, I know we

can do this. Just think in a few months we will look back and wonder why we even doubted ourselves. I wish you the best of luck and the best of health.

[kteggers 0]

I go in tomorow at 6:30 a.m. the first surgery of the day

(my Dr. uses a surgery center) I am soooo excited and just like you, I have been trying to make up reasons not to go. The what if's are killing me :cursing: I was SUPPOSED to be on all liquids for 2 weeks, well I cheated 3 times.... if I can't do this how am I going to make it through post op and not cause slippage... so many questions.

Looking back at the last 2 years of my life, I have been so tired. I have days when I do not even want to get out of bed, my husband comes home to put my kids on the bus because I feel horrible. I do not hang out with my friends anymore because I am enbaressed at how I look.

BUT

Tomorow will be the first day of my NEW life, I know we

can do this. Just think in a few months we will look back and wonder why we even doubted ourselves. I wish you the best of luck and the best of health.

Baylee, You sound just like me! I can't wait for my New Life! Please let me know how everything goes ok? kteggers@yahoo.com

[sil 0]

hi baylee9866 my surgery is tomorrow at 6:30 also.what a wonderful new life it will be.good luck .i am leaving at 4:00 in the morning.

[blondie2 0]

I understand. I am going through the same thing. Last Fri. The 9th, I had my last Dr. supervised appt. Today, I faxed everything. I faxed it to the lawyers who are patient advocates. This waiting game is a killer. I didn't lose any weight either. If we could lose weight on our own, why would we put in for this? I hope my paperwork gets approved! The only reason why I was denied was because my 6 mo. wasn't completed. Best of luck to you! Let's keep in touch! Hopefully we will be banded around the same time:wink2:

[KyBandChick 3]

kteggers - I agree with the earlier post on your negativity. I too have a lot of weight to lose and often get scared wondering if I can do it. Throughout this process I have decided I have to have a positive "Yes I can" attitude. My surgery is the 21st and I too am scared with "Can I do it?" "Will I be able to take off all this weight (seeing as I have so much to lose)?" I have decided I have no choice, failure isn't an option as I owe this to myself. I think of all the wonderful things in life that have passed be by while I stayed home "fat" and realize the only person who can give me those things is myself. You can sabatage your diet with the band so you have to tell yourself that you aren't going to let that happen (not this time). Having surgery to help with weightloss is a drastic step that you can't treat like every other diet in the past. Just b/c you failed before doesn't mean you have to fail now this is a new opportunity. You owe it to yourself!!

Best of luck keep us posted. This site is great for encouragement.

[Peanutband 0]

I have to tell you all something. I was the same way before my surgery on the 8th. This is so normal. I didn't loss any weight before my surgery. Guess what! IT IS SO WORTH IT! I did it and I am now only 5 days out. I have lost about 12 lbs in 5 days. You all can do this if I can. It is not bad at all. I also did eat and could not stop eating. Now I hardly eat at all because I am not hungry. I have to make myself eat.

Congrats! and Good Luck, my prayers and thoughts are with everyone.

[SweetP818 1]

I did the very same thing! I was in the pre op room getting IV and the whole prep thing and I kept thinking--it's still not too late to back out! I didn't and am happy that I didn't. I have lost 27 lbs so far. I've been stuck at the same weight for 3 weeks now, but I have another fill scheduled the 22nd. I'm hoping for more restriction because I still feel like I eat too much. Stay in there and we'll make it!

[serenity55 15]

You know what I tell myself? That I have a tool to help me be successful, something I didn't have before. And I have also read that a lot of times the insurance companies are just interested in seeing if we are willing to commit. That's more important than the actual weight loss.

We can all do this.

Good luck, and keep posting. You're not alone! Be gentle with yourself.