I am the only one frustrated?

[als74 1]

Sorry, I thought I created this post looking for others who were frustrated like me. Guess I will have to private message next time.

[HeatherO 7]

HeatherO,

Just out of curiosity, was wanting to have a baby a motivation for you to get the band, or was is a coincidental blessing. I would like to have another baby, but at this weight, it would kill me. I made this choice for many reasons, but having a baby was up way up there. Plus- ya know- living long enough for the family I have...

It was kind of a mix of both.

I definitely didn't want to become pregnant at an unhealthy weight . . . because I know I would gain a lot and possibly not lose it afterwards. Family members have also suffered from gestational diabetes that never went away after delivery. So banding meant that I would be in a better position to become pregnant and stay healthy at the same time. So pregnancy was a motivation for being banded . . . but it came after getting healthy and becoming a more "normal" size.

However, with a son who is 16 years old I had become used to the idea of having a single child. I was somewhat resigned to the fact that I may not ever have another child and I had accepted that possibility. So in a way it was coincidental as well. I did not know I would become instantly pregnant after getting close to goal.

[terilynn112 1]

I too get frustrated. I have even taken time off the boards because of it. Like some of the others, I've just chosen not to read/reply to threads like this now. I refuse to enable someone, who isn't or can't follow post op guidelines. That said... and not that I'm perfect, I followed them. I feared what would happen if I didn't. It's a matter of a couple of weeks. Can't we control our eating for a couple weeks?

Teri

[Bengal Fan 0]

It is true I don't have to respond, but when I read a new post like "I ate a big burger, should I have been able to" it kills me. I just need to stop taking them seriously, because, come on, do you really not know the answer to your own question?

I am far from perfect. For example, I was put on full liquid diet for weeks 2-3 post op. On Monday, I get to start purees. So what did I do on my way home from work? I stopped at Red Lobster and got my family some food to take home. I got myself some Soup and shrimp scampi. When I got home, I put the soup and shrimp in my blender and added a little milk. It was still pretty thick, but had the consistancy of chewed up cottage cheese (which is on my current menu). It had so much flavor and tasted so great. When I went to take the the 10th very small bite, my chest started to hurt a little and I hicupped. I put the rest away for tomorrow, thinking - wow, less than a half of cup made me full- right on!

Now I know better than to ask if this was ok to do. In my head, I made the choice and I don't regret it. And I understand when people ask these sort of questions, because I read all the time people making little cheats, and I DO think- hey- if it is ok for them, it is ok for me. But when I see the explosion of posts in reply to really stupid mistakes (like eating a burger two days post op) I know NEVER to do something that stupid. I know what I should do, and I believe that if you should make a mistake, don't tell the others on this site "hey I did this, do you think it was wrong?" Ask real questions- don't look for forgiveness or validity for what you are doing.

Some are food addicts. And just like alcoholics don't have the self control you have. I wish I had your self control. Some addicts need forgiveness and to know that people care and will try to help keep them focused. Some did not receive a very good support system or information system with their surgeon's office and staff... I am one of them. I knew the process but they did not give a whole lot of information post-op. I believe I got a sheet of paper on eating after surgery. I had a lot of questions that they seemed too busy to answer and I had already had the surgery. I researched the Lapband for quite a while prior but nothing helps you more then someone who has experienced it. Questions, answers, and support is what a forum is all about. That is the whole reason I joined this sight was for additional information my surgeon did not provide. If everyone new exactly what to do, what every strange feeling was, there would be no threads at all. Anyway... all is well, just skip over the threads that make you frustrated and others will answer and help. It's all good!

Edited January 12, 2009 by Bengal Fan

[Bengal Fan 0]

I wish the mods would post a sticky explaining what bandster hell is and another explaining the whole double double (cheeseburger) issue... Especially since these types of questions show up almost daily - if not several times a day. It gets tedious answering those posts but it's clear those people need guidance and quickly! It would be much easier to have a sticky to point them to.

Brad

This is an excellent idea....!! I wonder if the mods could go thru and find frequently asked question threads and sticky them at the top! It would definately save time and repetitive threads!:cursing:

[dobermanmom 0]

ha.

people are LAZY.

and want QUICK solutions to long term issues.

[Elisabethsew 50]

You are entitled to your opinion but please respect the fact that some people have more trials than others and come seeking support.

[MacMadame 81]

This is an excellent idea....!! I wonder if the mods could go thru and find frequently asked question threads and sticky them at the top!

You mean like this:

Frequently Asked Questions (NEW!) - Lap Band Surgery and Lap Band Discussion Forum

[BethFromVA 5]

*snort* :laugh:

[Bengal Fan 0]

You mean like this:

Frequently Asked Questions (NEW!) - Lap Band Surgery and Lap Band Discussion Forum

:laugh:

well stupid me for not paying attention..... :ohmy:

[MacMadame 81]

There isn't one specifically labeled "Bandster Hell" though. It's more indirect than that.

But there is a TON of good information there for pre-ops so I figured I'd pass the link around. :laugh:

[SunnyRachel 7]

I totally agree! A sticky might help reduce the number of "I'm 2 weeks out and not losing, wtf?" posts. Those do get old...but I know my surgeon didn't explain that part to me, so I understand that people are upset and frustrated.

From the beginning before surgery, I was told not to expect to lose the weight quickly. It took a while but I fixed that into my brain. So I was not upset during Bandster Hell when I went for my second post op and only showed a three-pound loss, but then my surgeon seemed like he expected me to have done better... so WTF? ha ha ha I was pretty proud of the three pounds. :laugh:

[DaMomb 1]

Some are food addicts. And just like alcoholics don't have the self control you have. I wish I had your self control. Some addicts need forgiveness and to know that people care and will try to help keep them focused. Some did not receive a very good support system or information system with their surgeon's office and staff... I am one of them. I knew the process but they did not give a whole lot of information post-op. I believe I got a sheet of paper on eating after surgery. I had a lot of questions that they seemed too busy to answer and I had already had the surgery. I researched the Lapband for quite a while prior but nothing helps you more then someone who has experienced it. Questions, answers, and support is what a forum is all about. That is the whole reason I joined this sight was for additional information my surgeon did not provide. If everyone new exactly what to do, what every strange feeling was, there would be no threads at all. Anyway... all is well, just skip over the threads that make you frustrated and others will answer and help. It's all good!

Excellent response! (just thought I would let you know)

btw.. you look awesome!

[kgloverii 0]

I think some people get into the mindset of losing weight, that this is going to be 'the fix' that they don't pay attention to ANYTHING else. It really is sad, isn't it? I'll admit, I am an information whore. I look everything up about anything. I just like knowing as much as I can. And it surprises me that some people are not like that. They just go with the flow, never asking questions...

[dietpeach 0]

Sorry, I thought I created this post looking for others who were frustrated like me. Guess I will have to private message next time.

I think if your complaint had been more general it would have been fine to post it publicly, but by singling out the person who ate the burger two days post-op it became a public criticism of a specific person. In general it is better to not criticize people publicly, so yeah, PM would have been better. (Best of all would be not to criticize people at all, but very few people are that angelic, lol.)

As for me, I get very frustrated at myself if I ever do something wrong - and the bigger my mistake, the worse I feel. Worst of all when the mistake was completely my own fault and responsibility - that hurts! Then I feel like a failure on top of my mistake.

I guess that's why I tend to sympathize with other people when they make mistakes. I might not make the same mistakes as they do, but I can relate to the feeling of having messed up royally. So, even though I stuck like glue to my pre- and post- op diets, I sympathized that she had made such a big mistake by eating the burger.