How did you answer friends' questions?

[laurr925 0]

Hey all, I'm relatively new here, but I had a question for people around my age. I'm 22, and I don't see my friends very often because we live all around the country. I will be having surgery in less than a month, and I know once I start losing weight, everyone is going to be curious how.

A lot of people I know from college only know me as fat, and I know that when I ultimately see them this summer at the reunions we always have, they are going to ask me a million questions.

I don't necessarily want all of my friends to know about the surgery, certainly, some of them will figure it out and the ones closest to me already know. I have some friends who are extremely opinionated, and I was wondering if anyone has had to deal with a similar situation and how they handled it?

Any suggestions/advice would be really appreciated!

[flirtyangel 1]

Because we lose weight slower then the bypass if you dont want them to know dont tell them. Just say you been exercising and watching what you eat. Which when you think about it is true!

[FuriousAbyss1947 0]

hey-im your age, and thought about telling people.....im my personal opinion.....DONT....im a guy and....lets just say in my circle of fiends it wouldnt of went over to well. my mom had it done and told people and they seem to treat her like she had a surgery to cure a cancer or illness. i just told people i had my galblatter out. yes, i am ashamed of the procedure, and a failure for not loosin weight myself. but im 87lbs lighter, and feeling like a million bucks, and my friends, the guys and girls, are not any wiser to my big lie....i do feel a little bad, but just look in the mirrior and feel better about it. I am just trying to be honost-FURIOUSABYSS

[SweetZ 1]

Im sorry but I completely disagree with furios

first, he's not a faliure and neither s anyone else who loses 87 pounds. The band isn't magical and it takes WORK! I think any friends who don't support you aren't friends worth having. I told anyone who asked and I'm glad I did. They've helped me through that horrible bandster hell, trying to get all my approvals, and even work out with me.

I'm not saying you should tell everyone but you shouldn't be afraid to tell friends. Its proven that people with a good support system lose more weight so make sure you have one. If you have any trouble, I'm always looking for people to add to my team!! Heck, we can help each other!

[FuriousAbyss1947 0]

hey- i deff respect what you say. i came off alittle harsh. i do feel isolated at times, most of the time. i guessi shouldnt say dont tell people. i am just very uncomfortable talking about it. thats why im on here trying to find people like you all for support...i have noo where else to go i guess. maybe one day ill tell the people in my life, but ive been fat my whole life and 87Lbs llighter now.....its like a dream.....sometimes ill think ill wake up and none of it happend. i had a dream one night that i put all my weight bacK on, in the dream i was in such turmoil and anger. im starting to live my dream and life now. i guess go with your heart and if you feel comfortable telling people....THATS GREAT:lol:, but i have more evolving to do and more emotional growing to do with my changing body, this isthe the path i chose to walk, and im doing the best i can:thumbup:-FURIOUS ABYSS

[laurr925 0]

thanks for all the advice, it has helped me think about some things. thus far the only people who know are my boss, my parents, my sister, 2 friends from college, and 4 friends who all have the band (they have helped me immensely throughout the entire process). i dont think im going to tell many other people.

my band comes on tomorrow and maybe i will change my mind, but my friends have been my friends regardless of my weight and im thankful for that. i guess im just nervous to tell them and have them judge me.

thanks for listening to my concerns and addressing them - i truly appreciate being able to see all sides.

[JuicyGirl 0]

Hey Laura, I completely understand where you're coming from. I actually didn't tell a single person. I told my boss I was having a minor surgery to correct a hernia (true, since they did do that during my procedure) and that I needed the week off. The only person who knows is my husband. I intend to do exactly what an above poster said and just say that I'm watching what I eat and exercising. That's really what's helping you to lose the weight. The band just assists you in metering out your food. People can and do sabotage themselves with the band all the time. The hard work is done by you. If you don't feel comfortable telling people, it's certainly your right.

Good luck!

[MrRiceGuy 1]

I've been pondering the same thing... and I've come to the result similar to the comments above... you don't have to lie. Tell your friends that you eat less, you watch what you eat, and you've been taking better care of yourself. The band doesn't have to be a part of the conversation.

As for the scars on your belly, I do like the gallbladder removal or hernia fixes mentioned. Smart!

[drew05 20]

I too did the hernia thing. it was pretty easy since I have actually had a hernia so I know all about it :thumbup: as far as telling people, I am your age as well and I have only told my close friends (like 3) and my family. My family is EXTREMELY supportive as are my friends that know. Everyone that sees me on a daily basis have even noticed the weight loss and I tell them that I am on Adkins (which isn't a lie) and I exercise daily (once again not a lie). I just don't tell them about the band. It's none of their business.

If you don't want to tell them, don't. If you do, great! It's all up to you. And keep coming here! Everyone here is a GREAT support system. It's nice to have someone to come talk to whenever

[laurr925 0]

hey everyone..

thanks a lot for the advice! i ended up telling a select few people about it - the people who are closest to me and see me all the time since they are the ones i trust most.. they are all really supportive

all of my other friends know i had surgery because my mom (pain in the ass) wrote something on my Facebook (which reminds me i really need to block her now) - but i went with the popular "oh i had a hernia" story, which is partly true bc i did indeed have a large hiatal hernia fixed..

so thanks for all the input.. like drew said, its really amazing to have all these people here (especially ones my age!) to talk to..

xoxo

[drew05 20]

Ohhhh Facebook is a tricky one indeed. I'm friends with jane on facebook and we both have a pact to not mention the band on there at all. I also told my parents not to tell anyone of my friends. I don't want anyone to know about it unless I want them to know!

Oh and yes the people here are amazing.

[MrRiceGuy 1]

I told my wife only, and mentioned to my best friend that I have to have surgery to get a hernia removed. We'll see how long I can keep the secret as I lose weight.

[kwprovince 0]

I'm going to an appt. next week for a consultation visit and and really on the fence about this whole procedure. I am 24 and and have been married for two years, have a good job and just had a baby...I am about 6'2 and weigh 325lbs, I have always been a big guy, and have put on about 60 pounds through out, but about 30 in the last two years since I have been out of college...I am afraid all my friends and even family will think I am crazy for doing this, and thinkI am "copping out" the way I look at it is well im almost 25 and if I mess around and try and do it on my own for the next 20-25 years I will be dang near 50 and even more overweight and not healthy? Any suggestions or tips??

[drew05 20]

I thought that people would see what I'm doing as copping out. That's why I didn't tell anyone. A few I have told reacted exactly as I thought they would (they asked why I couldn't do it the old fashioned way) and the ones who were my first choice to tell (Family, close friends) were EXTREMELY supportive. The reason I did it so young is because I don't want to spend my entire life like this. I want to be sprig and spry in my mid to late 20's straight on into my 30's. I don't want to deal with diabetes, HBP and heart disease. It's not copping out. It's getting a tool to help me loose weight. The band is not going to do everything for you. You have to work with it and exercise and eat right. All it does is limit HOW MUCH you can eat. Not what you can eat. Ask anyone here. We can all still eat all the junk food and fast food we want. But we don't. If you are ready to make the changes for the band to work then it's the best decision you'll ever make

[Angie1985 0]

Just thought I'd jump in here. I'm not banded yet -surgery is scheduled for this Wednesday, though I'm terrified something could change because I keep getting messed up blood work and having to go back to the Dr's... But anyways.

At first I was like I am not going to tell a soul. Like just mom and dad, that's it. But then I told my roommate. Figured I had to, we live together after all. Then decided to tell one of my best friends who live across the country. Then kept telling - not a ton of people, but the friends who would notice that I wasn't eating (on pre-op) and the ones who I know would support me. I also told my sister-in-law and my brother, because I think it's important to have a support in my family other than my parents, who drive me kinda crazy. All in all, 11 people know now... probably 12 actually cause I think the roommate told her boyfriend, which doesn't exactly delight me, but what can ya do.

The good thing I've found about telling people is it really reinforces why I'm doing it - when I explain what the band is and what it does, I remind myself of how excited I am to be on this journey. When people ask what the struggles are, I am reminded it is a tool and not a solution.

Anyways, it's now only T minus 3.5 days... Hopefully.

xoxox

angie