Gonna Be Fat Forever

mtnpainter · January 7, 2009

:frown:i got banded june 07, went from 302 to 218 - 224. cannot lose any more. it has been a year and have maintained at 218-224. i have a 10 cc and and i have probably had 10 fills, keep telling doc i want to feel like i did at the beginning. he just tells me the same thing. do not drink liquid with meals, eat the Protein first, exercise, blah,blah, blah. he is not me he is slim he is a man, he is he is he is. i am at the conclusion that i will be fat for ever. do not get me wrong praise God i have got down this far, but dammit everyone else i know (4 ladies), all have won the battle with ease. not me, i am being punished. i know i am. i will puke if i eat too fast, or not chew good enough, but i can still eat a pretty good bit. i do want to be skinny so bad, always have, it is my hearts desire. just once i want to be like everyone else. not the tallest, not the biggest, not the comments of to be a big woman you are so pretty. please just shut up. i chose this to help me take the control away. but apparently my control is winning. sorry but just wondering if anyone else really feels like me. i have started hibernating myself, not wanting no one to see me, because they all say yea you lost some weight but have you seen so and so, and so and so. does these people not realize how they are making me feel. it makes me feel like a FAILURE, A DARN FAILURE. This is it i am a failure. the weight has won. i do not know how to conquer this demon called food, i do not know how to win.

Edited January 7, 2009 by mtnpainter

kgloverii · January 7, 2009

I am so sorry to see your are so beaten down. Have you had an upper GI lately to see if your pouch is stretched? That could make a difference...

Hold your head up. You're in my prayers.

SweetP818 · January 7, 2009

I don't have a magic answer, but my heart reaches out to you. I, like you, have always wanted to be small. I have always been the "big" one. I was actually a cheerleader in high school weighing in at 145, but my nickname was still "Fat Pat". I got so sick of that. And now at 202, after losing 24 lbs, I wonder what they would say if they saw me today? I'm sure they wouldn't believe that I've lost any! I've only had 1 fill and I'm able to eat way too much. I wish I could say words that could help. Would it be possible to see a different doctor? There are 2 doctors in the office where I go, husband and wife. It's amazing how different they are. I'd like to keep in touch. Where do you live, etc? I am in Arkansas, work at a bank, husband, 2 grown children, 1 grandson. Maybe we can keep each other by talking.:thumbup:

Jachut · January 7, 2009

Stop and take a deep breath.

Firstly, you're far from being a failure, you've had a massive weight loss and you dont lose almost 100lb easily, you've worked to get that off.

Now, what can you change to get you over this plateau?

I know how you feel to some degree, but I wont pretend that its not different for me because this happened to me at a healthy weight. But I wanted (and still do) to be about 10 to 15lb lighter again than I am now, however, I've stuck at 70kg for the past 18 months.

Can you use this time to go on a commercial diet program? Would something like that help you? We all know diets dont work, but they are effective for smaller weight loss and the calorie control and regimented approach may shake something loose.

What exercise do you do? Is it time to add some really HARD stuff like interval training (like when you're running with sprints or hill repeats etc) and some weight training. Is it time to try something like hard circuit training (guaranteed to burn tons of fat). Would a trainer help you at this stage?

At this end of things though, I'd recommend not going ridiculously low on calories but it may be time to get really scientific about what you eat and the way you exercise.

It really is a matter of what you're prepared to do to get what you want. I know that for me, stepping up to vomit inducing levels of HARD exercise really does work. It even becomes fun in a kind of psychotic insane way.

And guaranteed, I can lose when I eat 3 PROPER meals a day, and think about fuelling myself for the exercise I'm doing, eating what my body needs (I was 68kg this mornign, yippeee) - which for me means wholegrain carbs and low fat as well as adequate Protein.