So Sick and Tired of This Battle

[Marimaru 7]

As for me, the glass is not half empty nor half full. The glass is the wrong size.

I find everything you say here to be an obvious (but not previously thought of) truth for me as well. And the quote above is completely perfect for the way life seems to work.

Jodie, I think you've gotten alot of good advice here. The choice whether or not to take any of it is obviously up to you. Like someone else said, maybe you just want to vent, and that's fine too, but if you don't say so up front, you'll get all of our ideas .

Maybe it would do you some good to take a semester off of school while you try and get other things straightened out? Especially if you are missing alot and your grades are suffering for it. Just a thought. Hopefully you'll soon see the light at then of your tunnel

[Alexandra 55]

VQ, you've struck a chord with me too. I wonder what on earth I was thinking I needed to learn in this life???

[j_war06 0]

Well, I have to go to school, I cant take a semester off because it is illegal.

The way I look at the glass is it is half full if you pour liquid into in half way. It is half-empty if it was full and one was to drink half the liquid in the glass. I know, I know....I over analyze everything! I believe that the world is not simple, I believe it is very complex. Maybe that is why I am a pre-law major. I dont know. I just know that patience sucks, being fat sucks, comorbidities suck, and MEN SUCK TOO!!!LOL!!! I know real mature right? But its the truth.

[ajack 0]

Jodie

Is there a support group in your area? Do you live close to one of us? I also am curious if you have other conditions and how tall you are because I cant imagine all that pain and you being"only" 240 lbs. I wish i could be 240 I was 275 when i graduated HS and am 370 now at 34 yo. If you dont feel like sharing this personal info I understand. I have dealt with MAJOR pain for years and last year I was diagnosed with auto immune and myasthenia gravis.Most people havent even heard of that but it is kind of like MS , it is a muscle and nerve disorder. Also I found that if I take a super B complex Vitamin every week or so I feel MUCH better. also try to move a little ( that is my problem too) i have heel spurs bad and hurt all over ( people think we are lazy ) whatever

any ways I waited six weeks and had to stay on the ball. calling dr office and ins weekly ...yesterday i got my approval but now i have to wait for the dr to get the letter in hand to schedule and let me tell you it isnt easy waiting....i thought once i got the approval... now i am waiting for our wonderful mail system

Hang in there and remember WE understand

[ajack 0]

Sorry i didnt see the page with your answers. Now that have read more of your stuff i am even more concerned. Honey you have to find something,ANYTHING to be positive about. Trust me, i've been there I gave up a couple of years ago. But you have to pick your buttsky up and move forward. If you dont do it no one will. It sounds to me like you can come up with an excuse for everything( i am pretty good with this too) But like they have all told you Lots of people have it WAY worse off. you have a computer and people sho are trying to support you. It is your loss if you poopoo it all.

I used acupunture for quite awhile and got relief. but I am disturbed and offend at your "discriminating " comments about asians..You want to be a lawyer? and you are upset at how are treated? uuuuummmmm can you sat hypocrit? sad really...

Please take a minute to be thankful for what you have ..family, one friend , sight, hearing, arms and legs, a home.......no breathing problems....

take a minute....

breathe out the anger, rage, and pity

breathe in the happy, hopeful thoughts

[j_war06 0]

Its not discrimination because I am refering to my friend's dad, who owns a shop here in my town. He came up with it, I am not that creative. No breathing problems? Honey I have panic disorder, that means that if I get excited, scared, worried whatever I will hyperventilate. I also have sleep apnea which means when I hyperventilate to sleep, then I may stop breathing in my sleep. I never said I wasnt a hypocrite, everyone is a hypocrite no matter if they realize it or not. I wish everyday that I didnt have these arms and legs, because then I would fake ones that wouldnt hurt because you cant feel them. Besides all these points, if I am positive no one pays attention, they say thats great and move on. Even on here I have 2 or 3 positive posts and I think I got 2 responses on them, so now I only put up my own posts when I am sad or discouraged or depressed. Yes, I have an excuse for everything, and I mean everything because I am always on the defensive so that I will have an explanation for everything that people ask. Also no there is not a support group here, I live in a very small community in a very small town. I wish you people would realize how small my bones and joints are, I am 135lbs overweight for my height and bone size. My bones and joints are VERY small and VERY flexible (hyperextension). I cant move and the only thing the doctors say it is is my weight. I come back with the argument that there are people who are larger than me and yet they have no chronic pain problems. The explanation is that of my bones being small. Besides that, I do want to be a lawyer, but not a lawyer for the general public. I am going to be a big business administrative lawyer in hopes of moving into being a lobbyist in Washington DC.

[keri 0]

Jodie-

The band doesn't work for everyone. I'm very new to it- but, I know from others that it takes focus and determination.

Your negitivity will keep you from success- with your weight and your life.

You can decide to give things a chance- but if you continue to negate everything everyone says- you will not succeed.

You say 'life is beautiful" so- look for the beauty- don't deny it. If you are apporved- and I hope you are- your attitude will have to change for the weight to come off-

are you prepared for it? I've lost 29 lbs. since 6/5- but it hasn't been easy- and it is a total mind shift- the pre surgery liquid diet- the post op 2 weeks of liquids- it takes positive thinking and serious control.

You have to believe you will succeed- otherwise this band will not help.

Life, indeed is beautiful....

your words- remember them.

Take care of yourself.

[j_war06 0]

I dont mind a liquid diet, I have been on several of those because I have TMJ. Lemme tell ya something, chicken broth from a straw is not appetizing lol. I say life is beautiful because it is something new I have learned, I used to think it was horrible that I wanted it to be over, but now I want to live, I just want to be healthy. I LOVE to exercise, when I was on the road to anorexia in about 6th grade I would walk 5 miles or more a day, I loved it. I have my exercise equipment, I just cant use it. I just dont understand why every time I get on here someone new is getting the band and I am still sitting around waiting and dissentigrating. I used to have gorgeous skin, but now it is dry and pasty since I cant do anything. I used to play golf, was on the golf team, was number one in the school for girls golf. I went to District leading, guess what? I tripped over a root on the most gorgeous day to play golf (all the other tournements were in thunderstorms and massive rain), and my knees havent been the same since. I had to quit the golf team because I was useless, and was denied my letterman because I didnt finish the district game because they wouldnt let me with my injury because it was running the score up instead of keeping it down. Now I am completely inactive and I hate it. I thought I had gotten better my sophomore year so I started going to the gym 6 days a week conditioning in hopes to start golf again. Well... I was doing good for about a week and a half, then all of a sudden my body stopped working, I couldnt get out of bed my muscles wouldnt lift me. So I figured I was just sore and was overdoing it (I was walking up to 3 miles a day). So I didnt go for a week. I went back and couldnt life anything over 5lbs with any of my muscles and everytime I got on the equipment my bones and joints would go all wacky and crooked and stuff. That is why I was sore, I didnt know other peoples' shoulders couldnt go over the top of their head when they did the stand up crunches. I didnt know that other peoples' elbows did bow out when putting pressure on them. And I sure never realized that other peoples' legs didn't bow backwards when they were walking on the treadmill. I would get done exercising and be even more limber, which is great if you weigh 100lbs and are a cheerleader. Not great when you are 240lbs. I cant do what I love. I cant even write anymore because my hands hurt too much, I erase and redo too much to do it in a recorder then play it back into the computer for it to type. I dont know, seems like weight is ruining my life. You all know why I quit weight watchers? Because the lady got on to me for not eating enough, when I was perfectly satisfied at the portions that I was eating. She was incredibly rude to me because I couldnt eat enough for the diet. I quit vegetarianism because I almost passed out after almost a month from not having enough nutrition. When I was doing the vegan thing, I felt wonderful and light all the time, I felt good, until I got fuzzy eyed and light-headed in San Antonio. I dont always take my adepex because I will stay up for 2 days straight, without being tired at all. I quit the Birmingham diet because, well it was nasty lol. I dont do Atkins because I dont like a lot of meat or cheese (I cant taste the cheese, why add the extra calories?) I quit counting calories because I have Dyscalculia and couldnt count the calories lol. I quit subway because I got burnt out on sub sandwiches (still cant order anything I used to eat). Quit not eating because I got to Jr. High and there were better food choices and I lost all my friends when I started eating again. I dont remember being on any other real diets, hmmmm....... cant think og anymore, but I have done the same things over and over since I was like 3 and mom was doing them for me.

[j_war06 0]

oh yeah, the Protein diet! Great for a little while, chocolate for Breakfast, lunch, and supper. I used to LOVE slimfast, now I gag whenever I see a can! UGH! and those horrble little candy-bars. I dont like candy anyways, but I do like chocolate occasionally so I decided that I could do it, UGH! This was bad, TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE, IT IS POSSIBLE

[Teresita 0]

WHEWWWWW that was something just to read all these entries. First of all Jodie (THERAPY) it sounds like you could benefit from some good old fashion therapy. I guess you can't help it if you are a negative person, which you stated that you were. But I saw a speaker and #1 on her list for loosing weight was not exercise but POSITIVE ATTITUDE. Since you can't get the surgery and you don't have a positive attitude I guess you will be stuck in this same position for the rest of your life. Hmmmm but that is a choice isn't it.

Well let ME tell you what to do since you don't know and you don't sound like want to take advice from anyone.

1. Therapy

2. Attitude Adjustment (don't blame others)

3. Try (JUST DO IT)

4. Pretend the surgery does not exist becuase even if you get it. You still have to eat right and EXERCISE.

5. See a Nutritionist if you don't take in enough foods you won't loose

6. Consider and STICK TO A liquid diet THAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF CALORIES AND NUTRIENTS FOR THE DAY.

7. Exercise

7. PRAY

Good Luck

[keri 0]

dont, not, I just cant, I just dont, I used to have, I cant do anything. I used to, I had to quit. I was useless, I didnt finish. they wouldnt let me. I hate it. I couldnt. I didnt. I didnt. I didnt. I sure never. Not great. I cant do what I love. I cant. I quit. I quit. I quit. I dont. I dont. I quit .couldnt. I quit. still cant. Quit

Jodie-

The above quote is all the self-defeating and negativity you posted,

the band requires that you eat Protein, veggies and fruits- with all the other diets you quit, couldn't, didn't and won't. Why would the lap band be the magic pill? It's not a magic pill- I've worked very hard on several diets in the past- and I didn't succeed because I stopped trying- this is where my band picks up- "hey- we can do this"

You need to go to therapy before you can help your body lose weight and heal.

The band and your attitude will not succeed.

I'm sorry that you have to negate everything everyone says- it's sad- and I really think this board can be for venting but also for lifting up.

Take care of yourself- because no one else can do it for you.

[j_war06 0]

I DO goto therapy A LOT! I have posted this several times. Its like you people are not paying attention to what I am actually saying, and only picking out some of the posts. No the band isnt a magic pill, because it isnt a pill lol. I dont think you guys are actually reading the posts I LOVE TO EXERCISE!!!! I LOVE IT! Why does everyone keep telling me what I already know and have stated several times? Besides all this I have seen a nutritionist, she recommended calorie counting. How am I supposed to count calories if I am dyscalculic, I cant even count my own money without it taking atleast 15 minutes. I feel like ya'll are trying to just pelt me because I am little negative, but when all you have been told your entire life, especially since I am not on my own, is that "you have to..." and "You cant do that because....." It is a little hard to be positive. I am morbidly obese, and morbidly obese is morbidly obese no matter to what degree it is unhealthy for anyone. Once again, I dont think you people were paying attention Almost everything I eat is vegetables and fruits, I barely eat meat. I am serious I feel like I am being shot without proper evidence.

[divaliciousdee 0]

dyscalculic, What does this mean? U have problem calculating numbers? Jodie I have a question? Do you want to just vent and all of us not respond or do you want us to respond? I suggest you read Jessica O's story. I believe so far all of us have read this poor girls tragic experience and your life is sunshine on a cloudy day compared to hers.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=7414

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=O1024075523

[j_war06 0]

Dyscalculia is like dyslexia with numbers. I get them backwards, upside down, wrong, and can not grasp simple mathmatical ideas. I am an ELA (English language arts) wiz, and have no talent whatsoever for math. A calculator wont even help me lol. Isnt that Jessica's story thingy like a one in 150 or so, not to mention the fact that I will do anything to get this band and lose weight even if it kills me. I am not going to be fat anymore. I cant take it, I would rather die thin than fat, if I keep going at this rate it will die fat at a young age. BTW those hemogoblin levels, I have a problem with them already I take a shot once a week to get them up so I will have energy, but the shots do not work at all. Plus didn't she get the very invasive and risky gastric-bypass procedure? Also, whenever I watch Plastic Surgery Before & After they are always showing a boob job or liposuction or something that went wrong, but guess what millions of people still get it done. There is a risk in everything in life and I would rather try to be healthy. What will it hurt, if I was to get sick, then it would only be a heightened condition rather than a risk to my already deteriorating health. I am already in a wheelchair when I goto public places that requires a lot of walking.

[Marimaru 7]

Jodie, they pointed you to Jessica's story to show you that it could be MUCH worse that what you have to deal with right now. That woman has had all those problems from the surgery, she's not strong enough for a reversal, she can barely take care of her son, and now she's found out she has breast cancer.

As bad as you may think your life is right now, it pales in comparison to the issues that other people may be having, and THAT is why people are pushing you to look at the positive.

Anyway, it seems your purpose is to vent, not get advice, so please, vent away.