So I have lost alot of weight and my wife gains it..

[jlaneokc 0]

So I have this problem I have lost 82 lbs since having my surgery a year ago almost to date. My wife has gained half of everything I have lost. With this she has grown distant, doesn't want much of anything to do with me let alone sexually. She has never been much of an affectionate person but still she would have sex at least once a month. It's been like 3 so what should I do she told me it is my problem figure it out went to a psychiatrist and she was telling me the opposite did couples counseling and that was a joke. Anyone else have this problem with there spouse resenting them for losing weight and basically stopped caring anything about them? :tongue2:

[MacMadame 81]

She told you it was your problem to figure out? That doesn't bode well for your relationship, I'm sorry to say.

It could be that she is really mad about something, but not talking about it is, quite frankly, not very adult.

[tapshoes 2]

A agree with Mac. If she is angry/frustrated/anxious about something and yet won't talk about it, and says it's your problem to figure out, this is not a good sign.

I would suggest you continue counseling for yourself if she won't go to couples counseling, and keep the lines of communication open. Do not mention her weight at all; focus on yourself.

[green 6]

It sounds like she is both jealous and immature.

[green 6]

Yep, and tap is right: above all, do not mention her weight gain to her.

[Manatee 4]

Time to talk to a lawyer and get yourself protected. Sorry to say it, but y'all are most likely done, and you don't want to be blindsided later.

[green 6]

Yep, consult a lawyer and hide the goods. Just in case, eh....... You do want to minimize the exit wounds if it comes to that.

[BethFromVA 5]

Yep, consult a lawyer and hide the goods. Just in case, eh....... You do want to minimize the exit wounds if it comes to that.

I WOULD not recommend hiding anything. If that comes out in a potential divorce, it could be devastating to the OP.

[Brandy~ 2]

The fact that you only had sex 1 time per month before would of been cause for concern... Her not being affecionate before is cause for alarm. I am sorry but it doesn't really sound like it was working before the surgery and she is even more distant now. I would confront her about counseling if you really love her. Set a timeline to see if theres improvements... If there isn't move on.