Discrimination Over Your Weight

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Hi all,

I've been discriminated against too. I dress very professionally at all times because I don't want to be seen as fat AND a slob. That doesn't help though. They'll still do it. My most recent was just this weekend. I went into this store that I frequent alot.

I need to start way back though. There's a lady who has been working there for 15 years. I find something to like about everybody but this woman just grinds me. 15 years ago, when my youngest son was 6 months old, I had him in a stroller and had a 6 year old tagging along, I was shopping here. I was overweight then too. Maybe 225 pounds. I had my arms full of clothes to try on and my purse and diaperbag hung on the back of the stroller. Well...the stroller began tipping over backwards with my baby in it. I was trying to hold the clothes and rescue him and keep the 6 year old from running away. A real struggle in a hot and crowded store. She just stood there watching me struggle. Didn't offer to take the clothes or anything. I finally dropped all the clothes in the floor and rescued my child. She immediately looked at me in disgust and said, "If you'd have asked, I'd have taken them". I lost it! I asked why in the world did I need to ask when she's there to help the customer and she saw that i obviously needed her to take the clothing. She began to cry and the manager came over and apologized saying that she was a new employee.

Everytime I go into this store, this woman is rude. She's still there after 15 years, I don't know how. It's a chain. She never offers to help anyone and you have to hunt her down when you need help. If you ever return anything, she acts like the money is coming out of her pocket.

Anyway, this weekend, I went in the store. I needed an orange shirt for Halloween. I was in a size 22-24 shirt before being banded on Oct.3rd and now I'm in an 18!! Yeah!! But anyhow... there was one orange shirt in this store and it was hanging up high. I hunted her down and asked her to please see what size it was. She looked at me and said " it's too small for you." I said, "if you don't mind, I'd still like to know what size it is." She sighed and went to get it down. She said "It's an 18! I TOLD you it was too small for you!" THEN she walks over and picks up another shirt that was a light peachy color and said "here, this may work for you. It's a size 28-30." I just looked at her, turned and walked out. I WILL NOT put up with this any longer. I will be sending a letter to the corporate office as soon as I find out her name.

People are unbelieveable! I never once told her that I was looking for a shirt for myself.

I would absolutely LOVE being an advocate for people who are overweight.

If you notice..I didn't say overweight people but people who are overweight. First and foremost, we are people! We don't need to be identified that way!

What took you so long to send the letter? You are about 13 years late!! :faint:

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

What is really sad is dating! People would rather you be a drug addict than fat! It makes me sick!

Well if that is the case, one can hope they get Hep. C from their drug addict...oh that was mean wasn't it?? Don't worry karma is gonna get em back!

[j_war06 0]

Wow! I have found that since college, I really dont see as much discrimination against me, I get job offers all the time, I get hit on a lot, and I really have a blast. I dont ever feel too uncomfortable around others, although I am still mentally scarred from the past...hmmm....this is interesting, is it because I have lost more weight? Would it be different if I still weighed the same? Is it because I am in a sorority? Or are people really more open-minded here than in my old town? I dunno, but I like it

[carolel 0]

Tired Old Man,

I know.....I've given her way too long of a rope. You're right, I should have done something long ago.

llewis

[chocolate_snaps 3]

I have experienced tons of weight discrimintion but the one I really need to vent about is not about me.

My best friend (lets call her "T"), who is my twin from another mother, we look very much alike. She's 6'2" Im 6'1" and are usually with 20lbs of each other. However, when she became pregnant her weight (obviously) increased. She went from around 340lbs to around 400lbs. Yesterday, in the Labor and Delivery wing of the top hospital in NYC one of our friends (lets call her D) overheard "T's" personal nurse (good insurance) and another nurse discussing "T".

It went like this:

T's nurse, who should be ordering a larger bed for the OR, says something inaudable.

The Other nurse says loudly, with arms out stretched: Who the Big Fat one? :faint:

And T's nures responds seeing D: Shhhh.

D called the nurses out saying "Is this patient confidentiality? Do you gossip about all of your patients? You should not be discussing her with her she's not the doctor!"

Im not really sure if T heard D retell the story when D returned to the room but I did and I will def make sure heads roll. How dare they behave so disrespectfully. My mother who works in the very same Hospital says that what they did is illegal. Furthermore, this is not the behaviour one expects in the Top Hospital in NY from the staff of its top OB team. This is the hospital I considered going to for my Band, good thing I chose another.

This all happened yesterday morning around 4:30am and after having a C section (for which the idiot nurse order the bigger table) T delivered a 10lb 6oz baby girl. I am offically a godmother.

[kathystrick 3]

I have been experiencing discrimination for the 4 months we have been living in Atlanta. I have been looking for a job and unable to find one. I have been to dozens of interviews, some of them follow-ups to phone interviews. On the phone, I am "an excellent candidate, very qualified, good references, blah blah blah". Then I walk in for the face to face. Everyone in the office looks like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine. Still, I put on my happy face and go in to do the interview like I really believe I will get the job. It usually takes 15 minutes or less for them to show me the door. It breaks my heart.

As a result, we are moving back to South Carolina and I can get a job at the school I left when we moved here. They know what a good employee I am because they gave me the chance to prove myself with no regard for my weight.

[VegasGrace 1]

I own my own beauty business and am opening up a fixed storefront soon.

My sales have gone up with my weight going down. In sales, you are not just presenting the product...but yourself.

I'm more credible now as I present a product and share the benefits.

[j_war06 0]

WOW! I totally forgot that I started this thread a long time ago!! Well, since I have moved back to my hometown Ive had pure HELL finding a job!! WOMEN are going over me for thinner candidates! What? Fat makes me lazy? I know over weight people who can get more done in a day than thin people... I definately see the difference in discrimination since Ive moved back. In a city, Im just another person...in my hometown Im a subject of conversation! lol! But now they have something else to talk about...

[transformer 1]

I found an interesting website today about weight discrimination (The Council on Weight Discrimination) that you may find interesting. Here's the link: Council on Size and Weight Discrimination

[tifferoni326 0]

I think the worst is when you go out to eat and people sit there and judge you by what you are eating..order a slad..o your on a diet..no I just freakin like salads back off..Or o do you really want desert? grr..

In my German I class once they have these reall old desks from like 1950, made for smaller people than me. my stomach hung over the top and I could barely get my knees under..it was awful. One day the skinny cheerleader and I were pairedup as a group and she said..outloud..I dont want to be in her group, she cant even fit into her desk. I wanted to die...I think I came back with a cutting remark about her sleeping around, its kinda a blur behind the embrassment

On a feild trip for school we had to walk along the jettys looking for invertebrates and the teacher asked if any of us could dive in to get a sea cucumber, i volunteered but she wouldnt let me...just cause im fat I can swim...another prof used to treat me like crap everyday. Never answered my questions or listened to my responses, and whenever we had direct contact, he would turn up hes nose..apparently you can gain weight by looking at someone whose fat..It really ticked him off when I made a 100 on his final..I stood there and watched him grade it...

[SueSue 0]

I wanted to reply to this page because I have felt something from many young people that I want to share. I am 55. I am a teacher. I work with many young, thin women. The thing I have noticed as I have gotten older and heavier is the way they ignore us older teachers. (NOT ALL, BUT TOO MANY)Please understand they are not ignoring us on purpose. That is the saddest part. They just do not see us as someone to talk to. One of my coworkers is thin and young. Another is 60. Both dress beautifully. I dress good...I think too. As we enter the lounge everyday, the younger teachers compliment the younger one. No one seems to ever notice myself or the other older teacher no matter how good we look or what we where. This has happened for a long time now. I think it is so sad that people see only the outside and without even realizing it ignore the not as attractive people. They do not know they are doing it and probably would be horrified if I ever pointed it out which I would never do. I think this must be how older people feel sometimes. Unimportant. I hope I have never done this to someone but of course I wonder. What is really sad is that older people regardless of weight have so much to offer. So much experience. One day one of the very thin teachers came down the hall in the middle of winter with open toed shoes and a sleeveless top. As she talked she shivered and had goose bumps on her arms. When she left I looked at the other thin teacher she came to talk to and I said why would she wear no clothes on such a cold day. The teacher said do you really want to know. She wants to look cute. I was surprised and said aren't their cute warm clothes and she said she wants to show skin. I was surprised. and felt a little nieve about things of this nature. Comments welcomed.

[SueSue 0]

I posted this as a comment to someone else's post and thought this might be an interesting topic with lots of controversy. Fee free to comment.

I wanted to reply to this page because I have felt something from many young people that I want to share. I am 55. I am a teacher. I work with many young, thin women. The thing I have noticed as I have gotten older and heavier is the way they ignore us older teachers. (NOT ALL, BUT TOO MANY)Please understand they are not ignoring us on purpose. That is the saddest part. They just do not see us as someone to talk to. One of my coworkers is thin and young. Another is 60. Both dress beautifully. I dress good...I think too. As we enter the lounge everyday, the younger teachers compliment the younger one. No one seems to ever notice myself or the other older teacher no matter how good we look or what we where. This has happened for a long time now. I think it is so sad that people see only the outside and without even realizing it ignore the not as attractive people. They do not know they are doing it and probably would be horrified if I ever pointed it out which I would never do. I think this must be how older people feel sometimes. Unimportant. I hope I have never done this to someone but of course I wonder. What is really sad is that older people regardless of weight have so much to offer. So much experience. One day one of the very thin teachers came down the hall in the middle of winter with open toed shoes and a sleeveless top. As she talked she shivered and had goose bumps on her arms. When she left I looked at the other thin teacher she came to talk to and I said why would she wear no clothes on such a cold day. The teacher said do you really want to know. She wants to look cute. I was surprised and said aren't their cute warm clothes and she said she wants to show skin. I was surprised. and felt a little nieve about things of this nature. Comments welcomed.

[SueSue 0]

I know how to spell wear. Guess I got excited typing. Anothe thing that happens to seniors. Ha!

[green 6]

It is true that people do tend to find people who don't fit into their own categories to be largely invisible. They don't always behave this way in order to be mean or exclusionary; they often simply don't see those other people who fall outside their personal realm of interest. I, for instance, have never had children and don't find them interesting, and it is for this reason that I simply don't "see" them unless one of them starts talking to me. I don't notice teenage boys or girls, young mothers with babies because they don't fall into "my" category. I am not being rude, I am simply not paying attention is all. I do notice other women who are in my age group and I notice men because I like them. I also notice people with pets because I have animals, too.

This being said, there is nothing worse than being ignored when you are in a client situation. I saw a saleswoman repeatedly ignore my mum and address all her questions to me despite constantly being redirected when it was my mum, not me, who was the one buying clothes. It was bluddy rude.