Discrimination Over Your Weight

[j_war06 0]

I do agree with that. The kids that are younger than me today are really BAD kids, atleast in my school district. I dont know what happened to make them different than us. Yes, we have some bad kids that are my age, but they never woul dhave dreamed of doing the things these kids are doing now. I think parents around here are not involved in their kids lives enough, then when they get what is coming to them (usually one good hit) then the parents want to through a fit. Priorities are wrong. I NEVER had to use a clear backpack or go through metal detectors to get into school or worry about being hurt in school except for emotionally. Today's parents, in my small crazy town, are crazy as well hell lol, they have double-standards for their kids and they also have very little respect for them at the same time. hmmmmmmmm....... Well this is about discrimination, I have made it through, although I do see a psychiatrist every 2 weeks (and probably need to go more than that).

[burnsun 27]

Well in regards to adoption- I know two of our three times one of the reasons our birth families told us they picked up was that I was overweight. I looked like I knesw what it was like to be discriminated against and that I would be accepting of their little one- no matter what. In relationship to our agency- (all agencies in our state at that time used same form) and it did ask on my doctors form is my weight was stable for past 3 years and would it or any othe r thing preclude me from providing adequate care for a child. ***note same question was on dh form also - and he was 6' 3" and 180 lbs.

Other than that I wish I could say I had a few fond memories of high school or grade school- but like Teresa- similair story - However I loved my 20 year reunion - I could see all the fatties now!!! Those *&** cheerleaders and such- after a few kids and a couple divorces looke real bad and real old thanks to all those tanning beds- but not ME!!!!

[whippledaddy 5]

I have been discriminated against in each of these ways, and in other ways. Methods of discrimination that seem kind, but are really painful jabs at a sensitive ego.

How many times have I been told that "You're not fat, look at that guy, now HE'S fat" If I'm not fat, why point out the person who is the epitome of fat?

How many times have I heard "You're not fat. And besides you carry it well." Carry what well?

Plus sizes $7.00 more

"Wear stripes, they're slimming." No, diet and exercise is slimming. Now I look like a fat convict.

And, in some subconscious way wasn't "Clean your plate" the ultimate discrimination? Why not say "Hmmmmm, you don't seem addicted to anything, why not try food?"

And what about the jokes your "friends" tell you?

What about those well meaning morons who say "Have you ever thought of going on a diet?" Why no, I haven't. Have you ever thought?

Then there's the biggest "fat bigot" of them all. Me. Bigoted against me. Descriminating against myself. Telling myself those horrible lies. "She won't want to go out with you, you're too fat". Don't go to the theatre, the seats are too small." "Don't go to that restaurant, it's tables, not booths, so they'll all be staring at the fat guy, eating."

There are a million stings in the hive of prejudice. We wield the sharpest ourselves. I have hated the man in the mirror over the years. He's a weakling who can't stop eating.

Every eye sees us. Every heart judges. But our eyes are harder, our judgement harsher, our strikes go deeper than any other.

Let them ridicule me who will. They are second class to me. I can hate me better than any of them.

Yes, the stranger casts a sideward glance. The people murmur to each other when I walk by. But, truth be told, I am the real Enemy.

Even down a hundred pounds I still hear the voices of derision. Most of them are heard with my soul and not my ears.

[Fauxnaif 1]

I guess it comes from being almost 35 but frankly I don't care. I have a wonderful husband who married me at 100 pounds more than I weigh now. I have a degree and a secure job in a shortage area where they can't afford to discriminate against qualified candidates. I teach the highest level in my discipline.

If I am being discriminated against and I know it, I am quite likely to in nicer terms tell them to fuck off and that I will not bring my business to them again.

If someone is discriminating against me in personal terms, then screw them as I wouldn't want to hang around with them anyway.

You can sit around and decry the world or get out and live. Make yourself indispensible and the fat will not be the first thing people see about you. It will be your excellence.

Yes, it is liberating getting older!!!!

[sarabride2006 0]

I was really glad to find this post. I am going to be banded on 12/28 (less than two days) and I am so happy but fearful in the same regards. I was really heavy growing up, my father weighed over 400lbs and basically all we did was eat. I remember people talking about the "fat girl" When I was in 7th grade at a drama contest, I was sitting at a lunchroom table eating a piece of pizza, one boy walked by and said "damn fatty did you leave anything for the rest of us?" I over compensated, as most overweight people do, with a great personality. I was the girl with so many guy friends and no boyfriends. When I started college in 1996, people would look at me and the blonde skinny girls would run circles around me. I'd always sit in the back of the class, and though my grades were great I was hiding. I remembered being at a club smoking a cigarette and a man said "damn those fat bitches." I met a skinny friend with an eating disorder and started hanging out with her. She was bullemic and annorexic. I started following her lead and in 7 months lost 80lbs. I was still a big girl but I could shop in the smaller stores but buy the bigger sizes. Weight was an obsession with me and I threw up for 7 years. I finally couldn't do it anymore and gave up on working out, eating right etc. Here I am today, 10 years later and weight 310 lbs. Tonight my fiance' and I went to Bennigans and ate--we ate more than usual, I figured "hey one last hoorah" and an older thin couple was smirking at us. I do not know if it's that I was wedged into the booth or because my fiance is black and I'm white---add that to your list of discrimination. It's funny how people look at you when they don't know you. I'm a college graduate, I have a good job and a great family--but people see a fat white girl and a black man. We never really know if people are looking at my weight, our differences in color of a combination of both. I guess we'll find out in the next months. Thanks for the survey and information, though I'm way past the original post it definitely was an eye opener.

[jqpublic 1]

YES WE TEND TO BE HARDER ON ARE SELF'S.....PEOPLE ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT I CARRYED MY WEIGHT WELL,YEAH RIGHT NO MATTER HOW YOU CUT IT I WAS FAT!!!!!

I WENT TO A RESORT AND WAS HORRIFED HAVING TO WALK AROUND WITH NO SHIRT ON (SEEM'S FUNNY NOW ) BUT i WAS HAPPY WHEN I SAW SOME ONE LARGER THEN ME!

I WAS ALWAYS HARD ON MY SELF BUT FEEL A GREAT DEAL OF EMPATHY FOR OTHER PEOPLE WHO WERE HEAVY BECAUSE AT TIMES IT WAS HARD,PEOPLE JUST LOOK AT YOU DIFFERNTLY?

TREAT YOU DIFFERENT;I WOULD RUN INTO MY HOUSE IF I WAS WORKING IN MY YARD WITH NO SHIRT ON ( PRETTY STUPID ) LOW SELF ASTEAM

....AFTER I' LOST ALL THAT WEIGHT I WENT FOR A WALK AROUND MY WHOLE TOWN NO SHIRT ON DOWN THE HIGH WAY!

LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!! IT FELT LIKE I WAS OUT OF HUMAN PRISON AND THEN AFTER THAT (I COULD DO ANY THING ) PEOPLE WALK UP TO ME EVERY DAY AND SAY WOW IS THAT YOU I COULD ONLY TELL IT WAS YOU ONLY BY YOUR VOICE.

WEIGHT HOLDS US BACK IN EVERY WAY AND SHAPE FROM JOB'S TO EMOTION'S,PLAYING WITH YOUR KIDD'S OR COMPLACATION'S WITH HEALTH ISSUE'S.

I'HAVE 17.6 POUNDS TO LOSS THEN IM GOING TO MAINTAIN THERE AND JUST STAY HEALTHY AND FIT!

I WEIGHED IN AT 197.6 THIS MORNING AND DID NOT CHANGE IT AT THE BOTTOM OF MY POST BECAUSE I WILL LOSE THAT 2.6 POUNDS IN A DAY OR SO.

WELL EVERY ONE KEEP ON PUSHING FORWARD AND SOON YOU WILL BREAK THROUGH I HOPE YOU WILL ALL MEET YOUR WEIGHT LOSS GOAL'S IN TIME.

[NJChick 3]

Vines, I've noticed that alot of negative attitude comes moreso from women than men. I've gotten dirty looks from women countless times.

One time I was sitting in the beauty parlor getting my hair done and the one hairdresser who is pencil thin was calling some one they all knew a fat slob, a fat this and a fat that and that this person should keep their mouth shut and not eat, boy did they rip this person a new orfus. Meanwhile, me almost 300 lbs is sitting there with a red face not knowing where to look. It seems that every time I go there she mentions weight. I just wish I had the nerve to tell her or her boss that she is being rude, but I don't

[Mothernature 0]

Hi All~

I have been discrimated against in the work force. I worked as a waitress part time in a small family owned pizzeria. It was a favorite place for the local policemen to "collect" their thoughts and finish reports. They would order food and coffee (free to him, might I add) and work on whatever paperwork they needed to have done that night. One night the regular guys came in and did not have much to do, and one said to his partner - referring to me - "My God, she is huge." I was embarrassed and did not act as if I heard him. I served them their free food and was pleasant to them. The guy that said that QUIT coming into the restaurant on the nights I worked. I was fired within a couple of weeks of his comment. And I again weigh that same weight now. It hurts to think of this moment...

[Guest ASPHALT ANGEL]

How many times have I heard "You're not fat. And besides you carry it well." Carry what well?

"Wear stripes, they're slimming." No, diet and exercise is slimming. Now I look like a fat convict.

And, in some subconscious way wasn't "Clean your plate" the ultimate discrimination? Why not say "Hmmmmm, you don't seem addicted to anything, why not try food?"

I so agree and can so relate to these. I was thin all through high school (size 5) but never felt thin. WHen I turned 22 I started packing on the pounds and with a bad first pregnancy it just kept going up from there.

I hated going around people who knew me in high school because I know they are thinking ...Oh my gosh what happened to her. I had an uncle who always would tell me the only way you are ever going to lose weight is to push yourself away from the table as fast as you came running to the table. I still hate him!!! Like he had room to talk he was bald and fat...LOL I have always been told you are so beautiful and have such a great personlity, if only you weren't so big.

I was shopping for my niece a Christmas present at Vanity and the sales lady (thin little biatch) came up to me and said "can I help you?" I said no I am just looking and she had the nerve to say "well you do know that we DO NOT carry your size here don't you" It caught me so off guard that the first thing out of my mouth was "ya f@#@#ing think"!!!!! I am not shopping for me you little twitt, and with that I left the store.

So yah, I have been discriminated against but I am beautiful and have a great personality and carry my weight well so I will get over it!!!!LOL

[CCBSTX 0]

I must say that I have never knowingly been discriminated against!

Also, how do morbidly obese folks "carry and present" themselves to the public? I've always came across as a mannerly, smiling person, with good self esteem (on the outside). I've never felt less-than the other person. Do persons with weight issues put forth a different attitude when they are feeling less-than? Hmmm. Does that reflect how we are treated by the public?

I say "maybe." I also say there are differences in treatment, by the public, depending how MUCH you are overweight and circumstances. Someone 50 lbs overweight might be treated less severe than someone 200 lbs overweight.

Either way, when discriminations happens, it is very sad and unfortunate.

Shawn

[TommyO 5]

CC, please don't go there, are you suggesting that the stories you read in this thread are written by people who don't know how to act in public. Sometimes it easier to blame the person who is being discriminated against that way it makes it easier when we discrimate. Maybe it provides us with a sense of right when we wrong someone if we can blame them.

[CCBSTX 0]

CC, please don't go there, are you suggesting that the stories you read in this thread are written by people who don't know how to act in public. Sometimes it easier to blame the person who is being discriminated against that way it makes it easier when we discrimate. Maybe it provides us with a sense of right when we wrong someone if we can blame them.

NOPE! NO blaming here, just observation and opinion. But I do know folks (including myself) that haven't been waited on, in a retail environment etc., but aren't assertive enough to "ask" for help. Is it because they are moribly obese or the store has bad customer service? Heck! Customer service is nonexistent, in my town, unless you BEG for it! :confused: I just say, that in some circumstances, the lines are blurred.

Yes, I do agree discrimination occurs...no doubt about it!

Shawn

[Nana~ 4]

not that I know of really, however one summer we were at the lake boating and his dad pulled the boat up next to the dock for me to get in because he said I may not be able to use the latter...He didnt mean it to be mean and he was prob. right but it still hurt I didnt wanna go boating after that :grouphug: I felt too fat to go

[FunnyDuddies 6]

We went out to eat and drink last night. A night away from the kids. I was so excited, and was totally dolled up and rarin' to go. I have been working many many hours (103 the week before last) and really needed the break. Had a night of good food, good friends, good fun, and lots of dancing planned.

Get to the restaurant, and the waitress states loudly that they better seat us at a table, because i prolly wouldn't fit into the booths. I had been there before. Fit just fine, with room. And our friends we totally shocked. They tried to hide it, but you could see their initial reaction was shock and sympathy.

But I put it aside. No big deal. Maybe she was really trying to be nice to forsee a possible problem. Ok.

Then she came to take our order. I order lasagna. She says that they are out of lasagna but that they have some really good options on the back of the menu. EVERYONE at the table flip the menu over and see that it is their "lighter fare" menu. Tera, my friend just stares at her in shock. Then looks at me and says "no, you should get the ravioli, its really good." So I do.

Then about 10 minutes after our food comes out I see 2 dishes of lasagna served to a table a little ways from us. I felt fat all night, didn't want to dance, and drank waaaaay more than I should have just because I was feeling sorry for myself. So much for a much needed night out.

[Stitchy 0]

Then about 10 minutes after our food comes out I see 2 dishes of lasagna served to a table a little ways from us. I felt fat all night, didn't want to dance, and drank waaaaay more than I should have just because I was feeling sorry for myself. So much for a much needed night out.

Oh, Amy. I'm soo sorry. You would probably be much to nice, but I think I would have complained to the manager about the lasagna episode.