The Honeymoon is Over

[DeLarla 22]

During my last talk with my surgeon about food, calories, dieting, etc., we talked a lot about "the Honeymoon Period." I asked him why it was so easy for the first 9 months, but now everything is so hard.

He explained that the Band is just like anything else - when it's new, we are excited and motivated, which is why the weight falls off. But he told me my "honeymoon was over." That's when we have to get down to reality. I think some people are really lucky and they find a way to live the rest of their life in the honeymoon phase, but for me it's a lot harder.

I'm sure getting a new port and a fill would be like going on a new honeymoon. But I still have so much restriction in the morning that I wonder if I even need a fill.

Next time lightening crashes and the sky opens, I hope the answers fall out.

[momof4 0]

Delarla -

You are always the funniest and the most "honest" person on this site!!! I always love reading your posts because they either cheer me up or wake me up!!

You have a great attitude about everything--and you have been through more than most of us ever will. When I was new here, you gave me encouragement and helped me to understand my band. I did research on the band itself, but not on the after effects (emotionally).

I hope you find a way to get you a new port--one that is healthy from the beginning. You deserve to have this experience free of complications. Good luck!!!

[NJChick 3]

I think some people are really lucky and they find a way to live the rest of their life in the honeymoon phase, but for me it's a lot harder.

I agree, some are fortunate, they breeze right through whereas others seem to struggle so much more.

I wish I had the magic words to get you motivated, but until I find them, please know that we are here for you.

Eileen

[Zoe 6]

Hmm... that "honeymoon period" sure rings true to these ears. I think I have Lap-Band fatigue. I'm fed up with all the chewing, and I'm kind of bored with all things having to do with the band. Sure, I'm delighted that I've lost 65 lbs. and kept them off, but the last 35 lbs. seem to be having fun sticking around, and I haven't been able to chase them off the property. Some of my attitude is probably a normal reaction to a long-term change in eating habits, some is plain old boredom with routine, some is just plain orneriness on my part. Is anyone else out there going through this, besides DeLarla & me?

[paula 4]

Lisa, sometimes I wonder if those that attend a support group do better then those of us that give/recieve on-line support. When I get with a new mother that is so wrapped up in her new bundle of joy, I always leave appreciating/loving my kids more. And the same for being around that girl thats newly in-love... makes you a little more conscience about your own relationship.

So! Im wondering about a real life lap-band support group - and maybe the enthuasim of actually being around other bandsters and hearing and seeing their journey... if thats what we need to kick us in the butt.

Of coarse some of us arent able to do this, but then, some of us are (like me).

[DeLarla 22]

The Vegas Bandsters are having trouble kick-starting meetings. I've only gone to two meetings. The first was 5 people, the second only 3. I agree that a support group is really helpful.

My new port will be around $2200.00, plus travel, plus lost work, plus fluoro, plus the fill, plus plus plus. If it would guarantee another 50 pounds, I'd go for it. But I'm looking at everyone's stats here at LBT, and so many people have plateaued that I wonder if it's worth my effort. I have the money right now, but I'm exhausted from all of it (see Zoe's post.)

My life comes in waves. Right now I'm just floating but once a big wave hits I'll jump on it and I'll be ready to go again.

However, I think many more people are over the Honeymoon phase than willing to admit. Just my opinion.

[DevilMayKare 1]

Some of my attitude is probably a normal reaction to a long-term change in eating habits, some is plain old boredom with routine, some is just plain orneriness on my part. Is anyone else out there going through this, besides DeLarla & me?

Band or no band almost EVERYONE goes thru this kinda stuff of their weightloss journey--AND life! It'd be a rare person (or a young, inexperienced person) who didn't. I'm forty-something, lost and gained over 50# about 6 times and over 100# twice, been in I don't know how many "groups" and can tell you from experience that these feelings are ABSOLUTELY normal! Hey--if it were easy Elizabeth Taylor wouldn't be fat.

I don't care who you are, how pretty, how smart, how rich, how wise, how educated--if you've got the FAT DEMON it is going to be a daily exorcision. Some days the demon will be sleepy and quiet and somedays it will be screaming but it would be a big mistake to think that just because we've got this piece of silicone around our tummies that we've killed it.

The absolutely only thing that gets me back to losing weight is the alternative. (We all know what that is!) If there's a "honeymoon period" it's nothing but a little respite from the constant bitch this fight is. Enjoy those times while they're there, but don't kid yourself into complacency.

So what to do? WHATEVER you can! Walk, run, put on music, buy a hat, paint a wall, call a friend, weed the yard, build a fishpond, take a shower, howl at the moon or put a pillow over your face and scream! I have done ALL of those just to do something besides eat and even if they only work for as long as you are doing them, at least for that small space of time you aren't putting food in your face.

Sometimes success comes in small, chewed-to-death bites. It's hard! Is it worth it? I often doubt it, then I remember the alternative....

[DevilMayKare 1]

Oh, but be careful with the screaming into a pillow tip. I literally couldn't talk for two days after.

[mercedes 0]

DeLarla,

I'm really scared now. I'm supposed to get banded next weekend. Is it really no better than regular dieting?

And Kare, am I really going to still have that stupid FAT DEMON?

YIKES!!!

Does the freaking band work or not?

Is it going to be any better than going on another diet that works for a while and then quits? Pretty drastic and expensive if so : (

[flygirlincolo 0]

wow just when you get really motivated then you hear the real side of the band, I am getting bandednext week and now wondering DOES IT WORK or not is there any one who regrets it or would do it a hundred times over please help with the decision!

carrie!

[DevilMayKare 1]

Is it really no better than regular dieting?

And Kare, am I really going to still have that stupid FAT DEMON?

Does the freaking band work or not?

Is it going to be any better than going on another diet that works for a while and then quits?(

YES IT WORKS!! NO, it's NOT magic!

Comon guys--remember the ol' "tool" jazz. Is it easier to pound in a nail with a hammer or with a rock? With a hammer of course--but you STILL have to POUND!

I am relatively new to the band, but in my experience life is consistent. There certainly are people who have gastric bypass and gain weight back. Do you seriously think you can get rid of the fat demon forever? I believe with all my heart you CAN win the war--but don't think for a second there won't be lots of battles! Thinking the band will do it all, or gastric bypass, or Lipo or phen/fen or whatever is just setting you up to let your guard down when the demon raises its head. IT WILL. Get READY for those times! By being here DeLarla's enlisting help in her battle--and thereby all of our battles. You never know what one thing you might read herr will get you out of that "I've gotta eat!" struggle.

This band is a great opportunity. Please overcome your fear and grab it for all you're worth--but steel yourself to WORK at it and come here and share your failures and your successes and Celebrate everyone of them! You COULD fail--but there is a VERY GOOD chance you CAN SUCCEED!

ANd what the heck would it be worth if it were easy?

Sorry....hope I don't sound like I'm preaching. I've just been around for awhile and I've seen what works and what doesn't. And work is what it takes--and sometimes there is incredible joy in that.

[Zoe 6]

I think everyone here already knows the staying power of the fat demon. I wasn't addressing new bandsters (like Kare) nor about-to-be bandsters (like Mercedes and Carrie); make no mistake, the band does work big time for most of us. Just look at the weight-loss stats from most of us on LBT! The thing is, after you've been banded for a while, the novelty wears off, and the initial significant weight loss slows down. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a reality for some of us. Do the not-so-great things about the band outweigh the good? I don't think so -- far from it. And I certainly don't regret my decision to get banded. On the contrary; it was one of the best things I've done for myself. But that rah-rah sentiment aside, if you're a bandster who's feeling less than 100% gung-ho all the time, I think it's good to be honest about it. I can't speak for DeLarla, but I offered my initial post (and this one) not to request encouragement nor to discourage others, but just to relate my own experience.

[NJChick 3]

I still want the band and I realize that its a tool to help you fight the fat demon, not the cure. I agree with Paula on getting some face to face support, even if its 1:1.

What about us here having a scheduled chat??? I know its hard w/east coast and west coast hours but we could try?

[vinesqueen 2]

I've been thinking about your first post on this thread Zoe. One of those things that has been occupying my brain, chewing up cycles....

Sounds like you are dieting. Or at least, in the dieting mind frame. Perhaps give yourself permission to be where you are for a while?

I know that before I found my DH I was in that "I'll never find Mr. Right" funky place. I was tired of dating frogs and toads. So, I stopped looking. Which was a good thing, because he was right there all along. Any, I digress. Maybe you just need some time to be with yourself, no pressure, no expectations, just learning to be comfortable with yourself again?

[DeLarla 22]

I don't regret getting my band. Yes, the band works. You get full fast, there are times you simply can't eat. However, falling back to old habits comes too easy for many of us. I just always end up being the brutally honest one of the group that's not afraid to say that I've fallen back into my old habits to the tune of a 10 pound weight gain.

It's all about choices. The Band originally restricts you from eating, and when it's new, you are scared to death to do anything wrong, so you follow the rules. Soon, the Band becomes a comfortable part of your life and you face all the same social settings, parties, work, leftovers, fast food joints, candy isles, etc. The Band restricts how your stomach feels, but it does nothing to take away the DEMONS. My demons are just meaner than others, so it takes more of a fight from me. But I'm tired.

I have many enemies, but no regrets. I say it like it is, which really bothers or hurts a lot of people because girls aren't supposed to be mean. But to me, I want the hard, cold facts. I don't want to see a bunch of happy, smiling faces if there are underlying problems that need to be addressed. I need to get down and dirty and fix the problems.

Could you imagine if a man tried to fix a car engine while keeping his hands clean? It's the same thing when it comes to our weight, our lives, our jobs, our relationships. If it's broken, it needs to be fixed, and you might get dirty fixing it. So I come here, post the problem, gnash it out, HATE a bunch of responses, LOVE a bunch of others, LOVE everyone for caring enough to put up with me, then hope for a better tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I think Kare is me with another screen name.

Don't be afraid to get the Band. Just get it knowing all the facts, and the fact is that statistics show "most" people lose 1/2 of the weight they need to lose with the band, and the rest has to come off through diet and exercise.

Therefore, I'm a success. I'm still down a solid 60 pounds. I could not have done it without the Band.

Rock on.