My thoughts on family and friends' lack of support

musicfrommyheart · December 16, 2008

So, I was thinking today, about the conversations I've had with people about my decision to get the Lap Band surgery. And I'm really surprised at the responses I've gotten, even from some of my overweight friends.

Several of them have said "oh no, don't get the surgery, let's go walking together". Which is what they all say but never stick to. I can't tell you how many times I have flat out begged my friends for help with motivation, admitting that I'm to the point where I can't do this alone. And several have agreed that they're in the same boat. But when I call to go walk, they don't answer, or when I stop by their desk and say "hey let's go" there's always a reason.

Now don't get me wrong. I am well aware that the ONLY reason I am overweight is because I ate this far to get here. The only reason why I am at the weight I am is because somewhere along the line, I gave up believing in myself. I know this. And frankly, admitting that gives me the first measure of hope I've had in a long time.

However, I also know that I have become addicted to food. Like a drug. Eating has taken over my body and my life. And it's hard to admit that, but even harder to hear my friends stiff objection to this surgery.

How many other options are out there to help people face their addictions? There's the patch to quite smoking, the methadone clinic, and several hundred different alcoholic cessation programs.

But when I feel like I've finally found some help, then people are all of a sudden "concerned". As if me being almost 300 pounds doesn't cause concern enough!!

At any rate, if you're reading this, thanks for putting up with my rant.

I have my first visit with the nurse scheduled on January 12th, 2008! I am really excited and relieved. Finally, I'm starting to DO something, instead of feeling trapped!

sonipez · December 20, 2008

Do not worry about what other people say! This is about you making the right choice for you and only you!

When I decided to get banded I had to tell people. My mom who has always been SUPER CRITICAL of my weight was completely supportive...which shocked the hell out of me.

There was one friend at work who was not supportive at all. And it really hurt my feelings. She would tell me about a friends cousin who had massive complications from a gastic bypass. She would tell me about all these people who had the surgery who didn't lose any weight at all. On and on...

But here's the thing...I've lost over 50% of my excess weight. My blood pressure is down! According to my AC1 test, I am NOT at risk for diabetes.

I made the right decision for me just as you are making the right decision for you. You have made a very brave decision...you have decided to change. You are daring to change your life...you are daring to be different!

Good for you! Don't worry about what other say! Go on and change your life!

musicfrommyheart · December 20, 2008

Sonipez,

Thank you for this response! I had started to wonder if other people were even having this problem, too! Yeah I've received feedback both positive and negative. Even this one woman who had been banded HERSELF seemed pretty judgmental on whether or not I would eat my way through the band. They were some harsh words, but I think she was really trying to impress upon me the seriousness of this process. But to me that's the whole point, I want it to be serious. I want to do the work, and I see the band as a permanent reminder of the committment I'm making to myself.

I'm so glad your mom was supportive and congrats! on losing the excess weight. Can I ask you a question, do you have the excess skin that so many women are talking about? I wonder what that's going to be like for me.

Wow, isn't it amazing to know that you no longer have to deal with diabetes? I mean, you have literally saved yourself from an illness and reversed it. That is so amazing to me and gives me hope about this process of being banded.

I wish you the best, I really do.

Thanks again and Happy Holidays :laugh:

-music

di1138 · December 20, 2008

When I first told my sons that I wanted the band I was shocked at their reaction. After years of begging me to lose weight they acted as if I was doing something terrible. They showed me every negative thing that was written about the band. I showed them everything positive. Now after 4 months and 64 lbs lost they couldn't be happier!! I think most people have to learn about the positive side before they can be happy for us. My kids are now my biggest supporters! Do what you feel is right for you and don't listen to others. Good luck.

musicfrommyheart · December 22, 2008

Woo hoo! I'm so excited, I was just called by BIDMC, they have a cancellation in January so my appointment was moved up to January 2nd!

sonipez · December 22, 2008

Woooo hoooooo!! That's where I got my surgery done! Dr. Vivian Sanchez did mine, she has since started her own practice in Salem. But I've gotten follow up care from Dr. Schnieder, who is really nice!

musicfrommyheart · December 22, 2008

Oh wow, I'm so glad to speak with someone who has had their surgery done there. I think I'm going to go with Dr. Jones, although I haven't met Dr. Schneider yet, I hear that they're both really good. How did you like your fill visit with Dr. Schneider?

-music

musicfrommyheart · February 22, 2009

Woooo hoooooo!! That's where I got my surgery done! Dr. Vivian Sanchez did mine, she has since started her own practice in Salem. But I've gotten follow up care from Dr. Schnieder, who is really nice!

Hey Sonipez,

I had an appointment with Dr. Schneider, he was so nice and patient with me that I decided to choose him. I'm really glad I did. I know that people like Dr. Jones, but since I hadn't met Dr. Schneider yet, I wanted to wait and see what he was like. My surgery is on March 30th, I can't wait.

How are you doin?