299.5~My Journey

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Well ladies I am going to start an online journal of sorts maybe I'll convert to a blog but right now I like the idea of keeping it here.

Yesterday I went to my pre-op appointment. The scale said 299.5 :eek: At my highest Weight watchers weight I was 291.6 and I lost 45.6 pounds and as you can see I gained that back plus some.

I had a good appointment. I like the Dr. she is funny and matter of fact. I am looking towards mid-January. I have a hernia that she will repair at the same time. She asked me to do an Atkins like diet and lose 10-15 pounds. She wants me to up my exercise to 3-4 times a week for 45 minutes again. I can do that and lose the weight I am sure. Just cuttng out the fast food alone should do the trick!

My boyfriend went with me I am hoping somewhere along my journey he will consider this option. Even if he doesn't he has alrwady lost 130 pounds on his own wth just exercise and cutting back on food so he has said he will work on the food part with me and the exercise. We are going to get a personal trainer and work on having active dates vs. going out to eat and to the movies. :crying:

As I mentioned in the intro thread this really is my last option. But that is a good thing I am comfortable with my decision knowing I have tried everything else. I am still a bit hung up on the fact that I was able to reach every single other goal I ever set for myself from graduating college, to getting into law school, to passing the bar on the first shot, to landing a good job and 4 years later an even better job to buying my first home when I was 30 and the list goes on and on but the one thing that should be 110% in my control escapes me. :crying::crying::blushing::blushing:As you can see by the faces I have mixed emotions about that. :frown: But this is it and its just another avenue to reach my health goals so I have to just move on. I know it is not the easy way out, I know I will have to 'work the band' and stay on top of things with my Dr. but if I can even lose and keep off even 50 pounds I will be in such better shape. I am ready to move on to the next phase of my life and I am thankful for a group like this for the information, first hand knowledge, and most of all the support!

I had all my blood work done yesterday, I got my EKG whicc was abnormal :frown:my blood pressue was higher than normal so my PCP said give it a month and she may have to switch me back to the other pill :mad2: I am doing the sleep study Saturday night and the Nutrition class, CT scan, Xray, and barium on Monday. I am hoping for a Jan. 19th-ish date and I'll have 2 weeks off of work and return Feb 1st. We spoke about rushing it at the end of the year b/c my insurance is making some changes but in the end it was a minor change so at least everything will be set for Jan. besides I am going with my boyfriend to meet his family for Christmas and my Mom and sister and I have a trip planned in Janaury so that works out well.

I'll keep you updated!

[sxevan9 0]

I'm happy things are moving along with your pre-op testing. Don't look at you not being able to lose the weight on your own as some kind of failure. You are taking the steps to meet your goal which is all that matters. I know everything will work out for you and I'm looking forward on you reaching this next milestone in your life.

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Thanks so much! I am trying to look at it like any other tool that helped me reach my goal I took Kaplan for the LSAT, Bar Bri for the Bar exam, I had a real estate agent who helped me find my dream house, and the list goes on and on. Thanks again!!

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Wellll I found out yesterday the Dr. wants be to have a cardiac evaluation b/c I used Phen/Fen. My EKG can back abnormal and my blood pressure was super high for me when I went to my PCP. :frown:I don't like the idea of being only 33 and having an abnormal EKG...Scary...I know the 20 or so pounds I put on this fall hasn't helped my heart either. So Monday I go for the Cardiac eval. then to do the barium, CT scan, and Xray and the healthy eating class.

I spoke with The nurse apparently the Dr. is away when I wanted the operation done! :mad:So either she'd squeeze me in on the 13th with 2 others before she leaves or I'd have to wait till the 27th. I wanted do it around the 16th b/c I am off 2 days from work so I would use less leave but the nurse said if I have a sit down job I could get it done on Tuesday and be back to work on Monday most people take 3 days or so to really get back on their feet.

So I just emailed her back and told her I decided to go for the 30th of January. I found out my job will let you advance sick leave. I also have a umbilical hernia she will repair that at the same time so I already told my boss and two co-workers I will be out for THAT reason.

I feel better about that rather than rushing this way the Dr. will be well rested and back in the office a few days before its my turn lol :w00t:

So far I have only told my Mom, Dad, Sister, boyfriend and I told my old weight watchers/workout buddy I went to a seminar. She gasped and said "NO YOU DIDN'T!" I said yes I did I told her today I weighed in at 299.5 pounds and with 2 aunts who died of breast cancer, my grandmother who had diabetes and who had to have a leg amputated before she eventually passed, and my own high blood pressure I really do not have the luxury to be as lackadaisical with my health as I have been.

I really didn't plan to tell her but she got into that old place we always go. "This is gonna be a good year, the new WW program is good, we can do this" rah rah and I couldn't take it anymore so i told her. She admitted that her weight wasn't too far behind mine. I didn't do any pressure tactics I just told her what I learned and then she got a call from her Mom and we haven’t spoken since. I am sure she will tell others when they see me losing weight but that's my old job and I only see them once in a blue moon and who cares anyway?

I was looking at some pics I took with my bf this weekend... Man I see all 299.5 pounds in my face, belly, arms! It is funny how the mirror somehow doesn't show you how you really look its like your mind is a filter of some sort but pictures..ahhh they tell the whole story. But no worries...Moving towards my goal! :ohmy:

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Well I have a date. Jan. 29th, 2009. WOW it seems far off but really it is not. I am kinda on cruise control not really sure how I am feeling.

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Well I had my barium, chest x-ray, ct scan, and pre-opt nutrition class today! It was a busy, busy day. The barium I had to do twice b/c I have a hernia the Dr. will fix at the same time I guess that's a good thing 2 for 1. It was a longgg day I'll tel ya that much. So now all I have to do sit and wait.:smile:

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Went to the nutrition class and that's it everything on my checklist is checked off! WOW! I stayed home today and my treadmill came! Its a really nice one, really nice its a Proform 580 its flip up and its a great size andlooks study. I am getting on it tonight back to my 30 mins a day challenge!:eek:

At yesterday's meeting there was a wide variety of people there all colors, sizes, and gender. I still kinda felt embarassed even in there:thumbup: but I know this is something I must do. My right hip has been hurting my jacket is geting tight and I just know this is where I need to be on the journey to being healthier. :cool2:

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Well this may be TMI but that barium is moving thru me! I have another on line journal on another message board and I put it all out there so you have been forewarned lol Also forgve the many typos I type with 3 fingers but I am quick and therefore that equally a lot of typos! :thumbup: A/w I will try my best to proof-read!

A/w I bought some K20 protien Water the mixed berry flavor its not bad at all. It has 5 gms of protien and only 50 calories in the whole bottle. I tried the ensure it was ok but it has a lot of carbs. There is a pre-mixed protien shake I started taking last year b/c of all the working out I was doing its from Worldwide it has 21 g of protien and 2 net carbs it isn't bad tasting at all. I am trying to get my system ready for post-op.

I am really just playing the waiting game at this point, now I am wondering if I should have had the Dr. squeeze me in before the New Year. My boyfriend has a nice New year's eve planned for us though and I didnt want to miss that plsu I have some work stuff I need to wrap up. I want to use this time to lose the 10-15 pounds the Dr. told me to so I will focus on that.

She did not put me on a liquid diet thank God! Just a Atkins like plan I can do that I may do more of a South beach and have 2 fruits a day though. I can do 10-15 in a month like that.

I had the nerve to break the knob on my treadmill already! So I didn't even get to use it yesterday! :youcandothis: My boyfriend said he will take a look at it this weekend. I told himt o bring gym clothes we are gonna work it outttttttt all weekend!

I am excited for Christmas the plan at first was to go down south to his family but he found out he has to work on Friday :sad: so I said let's do a nice hotel and we are going tonight to a very upscale hotel downtown Baltimore it is usually $400 a night its less than half of that for Christmas eve! :tt2:

Happy Holidays ladies!!!

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Christmas was wonderful. My bf and I went to a fancy hotel at the Inner Harbor and had a great Christmas morning workout. He finally told me his weight... 363 I figured he was about 350. He still says wls isnt something he considered but we will see he has lost 130 pound by just cutting back on food and lifting weight and doing very little cardio. I just signed him up for a 2 week pass at my gym I told him being in a healthy relationship is very important to me. We had a good workout and I am looking forward to another one this evening. :tongue2:

I am one month and 3 days away from my surgery day. Weird. That barium was nasty but not as nasty as I thought it would be but I think its is totally out of my system now:tongue_smilie: they did warn me that the kind after surgery is way worst. I need to buckle down and lose these 10 pounds I am paying for WW still so I need to go and at least I'll have the weekly check in to keep myself on track with.

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Well made it to the gym again today with bf. It was a great workout. I am feeling on automatic with surgery a month away. I need to focus on losing the 10-15 pounds. I will WI tomorrow!

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Happy New Year ALL!!!

My new year did not go as planned at all bf and I broke up over some lies he told and the worst part was he got caught and kept lying... I have no time for that honestly if he had just said ok here's the deal I would have forgiven him but no he wants to be an a-typical man and keep the lie going. Ughh frustrating b/c I really liked him a lot and he treated me very, very well but I think in his attempt to impress me he said something that he shouldn't have. I am trying not to dwell too much b/c my surgery is on the 30th (they gave me the wrong date) and I still need to lose that 10-15 pounds. This weekend was a waste I should have gone to the gym or at least done the treadmill at home but I didn't.

Today is a new day though I taste tested this Protein packet by Jay Robb and brought my mini blender it wasn’t too bad and I added fresh strawberries. Its 11 and I am ready to eat now.

I feel kind like I am going thru the motions regarding surgery its weird I am not nervous or scared or happy or sad I am just going thru the motions.

Did any of you ever feel that way? :wink_smile:

My goals for today are to stay on point and do 15 mins mini. On treadmill.

:thumbup:

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Last night was part 1 of my Psch consult. It was not what I expected she asked me about the procedure I guess to make sure I know what I am getting into, she asked about after care and support, also about my self esteem, and fatigue and any pains I have. Other things like meds, if I have ever been committed :lol:lol etc. She asked about family history and my medical history things like my cholesterol level which is 110 and my sugar levels which is only 84. I explained I am in good shape aside from this extra 168 pounds I have lol well not so lol I guess. She said next week will be about the diet post surgery. Yesterday I made a cheat sheet/shopping list for the various stages. I am going to Costo to stock up on the clear juices and Water and Soups I will need for at least 2 months. I will post my list in case anyone wants to see it or needs ideas!

I feel a bit guilty I ate McD's 2 days in a row I havent had McD is over 2 months. :scared2:I am sad about the boyfriend but it was the right thing to do. :thumbup: He seemed very nice and very kind but I need to be with someone who is honest point blank. I said I would give myself 24hrs to have a "pity party" but that's been 72 hours or more ago now so I need to get serious I may have to put myself of a liquid diet if I can't stay focused. I am good all day but the evening is the worst:thumbdown:

I still have not used the new treadmill. What is wrong with me? 15 darn minutes? Huh Not good and not a good indicator. Although I got the results of my labs my Vitamin D levels were too low so that can explain a lot of my fatigue and blah-ness (is that a word? lol) the Dr sent a Rx and I will fill that when I get back.

On the up side I am going away on a lil trip and can't wait to just have some me time. I am leaving my cell and laptop!!! FREEDOM! :thumbup:The place has a great spa and lots of things to do that are health and spiritually related I am in need of that right now!

Have a great rest of the week gang!

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Shopping List

General Items

Miralax

Gas X Strip √

Smooth Move tea

Colace

Unjury unflavored Protein mix

Papaya enzyme

Protein powder

Isopure

30th , 31st, & Feb 1st & beyond

10 calories or less per serving drinks

Crystal light

Crystal light hydration

Diet Snapple

Diet Green tea lipton

Fruit 2 o all flavored waters not containing vitamins

Fuze

Diet V8 splash

K2O protein water

Minute Maid Light

Sugar free koolaid w/ a sugar substitute

Aquafina/ nestle flavored waters

Sugar free popsicles

Lowfat veggie, beef, chick broth

Sugarfree jello

~100% juices (diluted w/ water)-No pineapple, orange, grapefruit or Tomato for 1 month

To Do:

-mini of 48 oz. a day

-6oz an hour

-vitamins

Shopping List Days 4-15 Feb 2nd - 16th

Premixed

Atkins Advantage

Ensure

Muscle Milk

Slimfast Protein

South beach

Worldwide

To Do:

-1 Protein Shake every 4 hours

-Drink clear fluids 10 cal or less in between shakes

-vitamins

Shopping List - Day 15 Feb 17th

~Peanut Butter- Smuckers Low Carb, Skippy natural, smart balance, and natural (5 grams of sugar or less)*

~Oatmeal*

~Instant/homemade mashed white or sweet potatoes*

~Oh yeah Protein Bars

Dairy

Yogurt- Dannon Lite & Fit Activa, WW

Eggs or egg beaters

Low fat cheeses

Milk –Skim, 1%

Soy milk- -Continent light vanilla soy or WestSoy Lite vanilla rice milk

Canned Goods

Chicken

Tuna in water

Condiments

Low fat mayo

Seafood

Fresh lump crabmeat

Salmon

Tuna

Flounder

Catfish

Fruits

Bananas, melons

Canned fruits in natural juices (no pineapples unless in smoothie)

Sugar free apple sauce

[LastOptionAtty 0]

Hi All!:yikes:

I must admit Adkins as never my fave diet yesterday I had the worst headache by 4pm:cursing: I don't do pain and for the most part I stee clear of any and all issues that would bring pain my way:rolleyes: I said let me go to Wendys and get a Jr. bacon cheeseburger and take off the bun then I said let me get 2 b/c there was a lot of traffic and I was starving I swear before I knew it I inhaled :tongue_smilie:BOTH burgers with the Buns. O my goodness they tasted like manna from heaven. I called my sister to confess. I told her I was reading through the paperwork I had to sign and if I dont lose enough the Dr. can opt to do open surgery vs. lasp. eeekkk:scared2: I did do the treadmil last night. I slipped again today b/cthere was an office party I had a sandwich and 2 ok 3 pieces of cake... :wink: I tried to stop at one but I should know better that first bite is a slippery slope.

I did cook tonight and packed lunch for tomorrow. I called my old gym buddy and we are planning to workout this weekend. :crying: and on Monday. I went to the sneaker sports store on the way home and I invested in new pair of Brooks and good socks. I am taking my multi and filled my Vitamin D Rx I hope I feel a difference soon.

Tomorrow back on track. I am PMSing and in the past I'd be eating all day so I am glad that I am at least sticking with some of the plan.

That's all for now! :tt1:

[kristilaw 0]

We share the same date!! I began my pre-op diet today and those Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers would have been nice today... :wink: good luck and stay positive! You're doing great!