Very embarrasing moment ends in hope

[poodles.me 0]

Can I share with you all, hopefully one of my last, fat girl embarrassing situations? No one would get the magnitude of this unless they've had similar things happen.

We lost power at our home due to the ice storm. It took me by surprise, it shouldn't have but it did. I wasn't prepared for crisis with my home, children etc. but also with my food plan and eating. Lesson learned and I see how easy it is for me to get off track and put things on the back burner when it comes to me.

So here is what happened to me. It started when they brought out the very teeny tiny cots that we were supposed to sleep on. I knew just looking at it that it was very flimsy and made of soft aluminum.

What could I do? We had to stay, there were people around. The floor was cold tiles.

I could feel my cheeks getting hot. Of course I gently sat down and laid down. I thought if I didn't move too much I might be ok. Well it gave way underneath me. I knew it would happen...yes, for real...boom...now I'm on the floor and to make matters worse, I cant get up b/c of knees/hips and huge butt...I finally get up and get a new cot, praying not too many saw me/heard me...right. Unbelievably it happens again before morning. I am really embarrassed at this point.

I have been heavy for my whole life but NEVER have I not fit in seats, not been able to get up off the floor, never had to ask or need any special accommodations. I silently cried myself to sleep b/c I am just not the woman that I want to be or that I really am inside.

At that very moment when he brought out the cots and I crushed the first one, I knew immediately that I was doing the right thing with the lap band.

I just had to share this with someone. The old me would be sitting here now upset and wondering what I should eat. What would make me feel better. But this time I do feel better all on my own.

I am not as upset as I normally would be b/c now I know I am doing something 'real' about it. Knowing that I have a fighting chance this time around gives me hope.

Thanks for listening

ps. I'm exhausted so if I have loads of typos or grammatical errors please excuse me.

[Gus'sGirl 0]

Hi, don't feel bad. Things will just keep getting better from now on. Denise

[joiful 0]

Your story made my eyes tear. I am sorry that happened to you. The only thing that I can think to make you feel a little better and you also stated that you have done some thing about it. You will never be that heavy again. Every day you weigh a little less because of what we have both choosen, a tool to help us and not obsess over food any longer. Good luck and I hope every thing gets back to normal for you!

[Cherylita 0]

Girl I can relate to sleeping on flimsy cots. We went to a Girl Scout campout and the cots they had were old OLD military cots with springs. I barely sat down and it sank in so far my knees where at my chest! Needless to say, I decided to put the 2inch mattress on the floor and bunked there for the night.

I thank God that he helped me with my decision to get the lapband.

My surgery is in about 2 1/2 wks and I am getting nervous that all the sudden my insurance company is gonna say...oh nevermind we made a mistake you can't have the surgery. I have to keep thinking positively and thinking about how great it's gonna be being healthy and able to get out and live!!

So it's all about staying strong and keeping the faith.

Good luck you will do GREAT!!

Cheryl

[poodles.me 0]

Thanks to everyone who responded.

Cheryl - You are having your band done the day after me! We should check in with each other and see how we're doing.

You know you said something that hit me and that is - thinking about getting out and live-...I don't feel like I have lived for years. I feel like I've just been sitting around (eating) waiting for life to come to me. Or for something. I don't go out unless I have to, haven't been to a party or anything that wasn't necessary for probably 10 years....wow huh?

BUT I realized last year or so that nothing is going to come to me. I need to go out and find life. Right now I just cant. Just shopping for groceries takes a days worth of energy for me b/c of my knees. My bmi is 41 but you'd think it was 61 the way my body has fallen apart. I think that its b/c I am on the smaller boned side than larger and even though I'm tall 5'7" I don't think under all this fat I'm very big....who knows...I've never seen her.

One more thing. I've heard people saying that after the band they consider it their new birthday...we'll I'm being banded the week before my real birthday so what a x-mass & birthday present huh? Not to mention that I will be one of the few people who can stick to her new years resolution!

[joiful 0]

Poodles.me I have a toy white poodle just thought I would let you know.

I know what you mean about life. I am just starting to have a life back. My favorite place is in my bed. I stay in it for hours in the morning watching the news and emailing and doing searches. I've about let my children grow up with out having me much involved. Sucks we have missed out on our lives. When you get banded make sure you get some restrition soon. If you do you will start to have your life back sooner. It took me 8 fills and 4 1/2 months later. I force myself to do things even if I am in tons of pain. the reason why is cause I know that every day that I do that I will get better. I will slowly get a life and I will lose the weight and have relief from food addiction. I got an eliptical and put it in my bedroom. Every day that is a reminder that I need to get up and get moving and if I excersise I will lose weight and gain mobility. It has worked!

[lilacbutterflym 0]

I didn't have the same thing happen to me but what made me realize i needed help was :

1. Went on vacation in Vermont to see my hubby graduate from Norwich and the seatbelt on the plane was almost too small.

2. Upon getting there Norwich is a military school therefore the entire campus had no elevators just stairs millions and millions of them and my back and knees hurt everyday.

3.When I got winded playing with my kids and my 5 year old asks me if I'm okay.

4. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing my pannus hanging over my pubis and feeling ugly.

[TQUAD64 9]

I am sorry this happened to you. And I have total empathy for you as I have been in your shoes. I have terrible balance issues because of my weight. It does not take much for me to go from standing up right to being on the ground.

Example, last year I am walking on the pier with my new expensive camera in front of hundreds of people. And what do you know, I step on something that throws my balance off and I hit the ground hard. I took a hard hit, but saved the camera. However, my dignity was damaged.

Talk about embarrassing. I felt so huge and insignificant. Luckily people passing by came to my aid and offered assistance. I knew I had to get this weight under control and get my life back. I am so glad I was banded. It will be the best gift you can give yourself.

[kgloverii 0]

Girlfriend, as you told that story, I got that sick to my stomach feeling, like "I know exactly how this is going to go down..." because I think every overweight person has a story of embarrassment. And my stories, even from years past, I will NEVER fully get over.

You are a strong woman, and that strength will help you as you embark on your Lap-Band journey. Congrats on making such a meaningful decision for your health!