Non-Supportive Family Members

[Lady Lap Band 71]

Just came back from my seminar in Burlington MA at Lahey Clinic with Dr. Nepomnayshy! It was fantastic and incredibly informative. Only thing that was a bit discouraging to me is that they list Aetna (my insurance) as one that may be difficult to get coverage from. However, I called Aetna and they did tell me that my plan says that they would cover up to 90% so long as I meet their requirments. Deep breath lol

I'm also discouraged because my loved ones are not all that supportive. I have decided to only tell my parents and husband. None of them object, but no one is enthusiastic for me either and it's rather depressing. I'm so unhappy at the weight I am, all I want to do is to be happy, I thought that they would want that too, but no one seems to. :wink_smile:

Anyone else have any similar situations? I could really use some encouragement. Thanks!

Breanne

Seminar 12/8/08

[Jitterbug 0]

I put a few "feelers" out there with my friends and family. I could tell that they would think it was too extreme. So I decided to tell only my husband and best friend. They are both supportive. They are the only people I plan on telling. You should make this decision for yourself and don't let anyone else discourage you. Once you get further into the process; I believe you will have no regrets. Your family is probably just concerned with the risks involved. Good Luck!

[bethm 0]

Hi :wink_smile: My surgery is December 11th. I have a family I know loves me but I've been doing this journey alone. I'm a single mom of a 20 year old daughter who plans to be scarce during my recovery *lol*

Unexpectedly my family has been there for me during this 10 day liquid diet listening to me whand have been really good at making me feel like they would be there to pick me up and drop me off.

But.. one thing I've found and look forward to taking advantage of is there is a rather large community of lapband folks. My doctors office has a support group every 2 weeks, social stuff, walking groups and seminars where you can meet people. Perhaps yours does too because the people who can understand best what you're going through are the people on the same journey so look forward to new friends

That's just my two cents. I wish you the best. Do this for you. That's been my mantra all along. Everything else will fall into place. Be selfish :cool2:

[hsguy 0]

i feel for you. My family is not being to support of me wanting to do this as well. but I think that it's because of the risks, they may not realize that this is rather safe. I have ATNEA as well and I think it should be ok. hang in there and just remember you are doing this for you not for them. Good Luck!!:wink_smile:

[karibensea 7]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have been heavy all my life and more recently after the birth of my twins 17 yrs ago. I will tell my parents what I am thinking about and my boys are scared to death. I happen to be a pretty healthy heavy women so far but I am getting older with birthday 49 just around the bend!. I found out today with my BC/BS insurance that they have all kinds of requirments, the 5 yr medical history well my doctor never followed my weight other than to weigh me in when i use to drag myself to see him. Then I hear they may require a 6mo diet plan monitored by a professional, OMG I can not believe it, I have been on every diet in the world and non of them worked because here I still heavy and still depressed. I was so excited and now I am scratching my head.

I just dont know what to do at this point, I am currently awaiting the paperwork from the insurance company to see what they require to "maybe" get approved.

GEZZZZZZZZZ:cry_smile:

[SuzanneG 1]

My family was luke warm on the subject as well. My sister was actually against it and used to try and talk me out of it. My husband who is normally very supportive would say things like "I think it'll be great, IF IT WORKS...." He didn's realize how that sounded from my end, but he meant well I guess.

Long story short, my sister became a lapband fan and even RECOMMENDS the band to friends who talk to her about struggling with their weight.

Hang in there, they'll come around. If they don't, don't worry about them, like others said, do this for YOU.

I'll be cheering for you!

[Lady Lap Band 71]

My family was luke warm on the subject as well. My sister was actually against it and used to try and talk me out of it. My husband who is normally very supportive would say things like "I think it'll be great, IF IT WORKS...." He didn's realize how that sounded from my end, but he meant well I guess.

Long story short, my sister became a lapband fan and even RECOMMENDS the band to friends who talk to her about struggling with their weight.

Hang in there, they'll come around. If they don't, don't worry about them, like others said, do this for YOU.

I'll be cheering for you!

Suzanne! Thanks for your response! I just wanted to tell you that you are living my dream! I weigh 250 and my goal is to be 135 someday and you are so close to that! Seeing how well you are doing just gives me hope! Thank you!

[Lady Lap Band 71]

I'm starting to feel better, my consult got bumped to today - yay! Instead of 2/10 and I called my Hubby to tell him and he seemed sincerely happy for me which was nice!

[Jmone 0]

I like you have Aetna and worry if they approve me as my BMI is only 39.4... I also have not told no one but my husband and mother . Mother said she will support me no matter what and hubby is not thrilled as he says my weight does not bother him , but it bothers me . I get my support from here and from myself . Keep your head up you always have us !!

[kgloverii 0]

Breanne,

It is tough to gauge how families will react to your desire to lose weight. While my family and husband were supportive, none jumped up and down, and all around when I decided to have the band done. They were very guarded because they didn't want me to ever think their love for me was tied to what I weighed. They have been encouraging and proud of me throughout my journey, but I know if I lost my band tomorrow, they'd love me just the same...

Ask your husband why he doesn't seem more enthusiastic. His answer may surprise you! I hope your consult today goes well. You are on an exciting journey, and even if there are some detours along the way, stay positive!

[mjacot35 0]

I too didnt have much encouragement from family. My mom and friends don't think I'm fat enough, lol I guess I should wait till I cant get out of bed. No thanks!! Now that its done, They are all watching and waiting, they said if it works for me (because nothing in the past has)they might consider doing it.

My husband thought it would have been a faster melt away but again I've tried for years to take the weight off without go success. I have only been really heavy since 1996 after my second child was born, I lost all of the weight and gained it all back in about a 6 week time period. I went to the dr for depression because of the weight gain and got put on Phen Fen. It did NOT work the only thing I lost was a Healthy Heart. I now have a heart condition from it and found out through bloodwork that I have hypothyroidism which causes weight gain. Maybe if the dr was more helpful he would have read the blood results before putting me on weight loss drugs and my heart wouldn't have damage.

Oh well, do this for you and only you if they love you they will come around. Good luck with Aetna thing. I have Horizon and had to to everything in my power to get it approved even with weight history, diabetes, etc. I was approved 1 day before my surgery talk about going crazy. Well anyway best of luck and welcome to the family.

[SuzanneG 1]

Thanks Breanne. If I can do this anybody can, trust me. Sometimes I feel guilty because there are folks on this board who are like the Jack Lelane of lapband, they are so committed to diet and exericse. I've kind of just blundered along. I do exercise now, but it took me until about a month ago to get motivated to do it.

Good luck at your appointment today. As Katy said, you are on a exciting journey.