female only Help I lost weight and lost mind

[Guest Lil mama]

Lil mama -

You are doing the right thing distancing yourself from this guy. Trust me - you do not want to be feeling like I do!

I would love to hear your experience even if private message. Maybe that will help me help myself.

I have been trying hard to remain strong. Mr Man has tried to contact me a few times sending me text messages calling me and leaving messages. He says he is worried about me:thumbdown:. I have to admit when he contacts me it is very hard for me to continue to ignore him because I guess in some warp way I really miss him. I still see him almost every week at a club that we are both members of but I just try to stay away. But seeing him is...

Knowing that I miss another man, and I think about him all the time is confusing as hell to me. I have always been that person who believed you couldn't love somone like I love my DH but still have some sort of feelings (which must be pretty strong considering I can't shake them) for someone else.

I even tried to convince myself that there had to be a way that me and this guy could be friends and still communicate just not in the same way we once had. I know that is not possible because we can't just turn off the intensity of our old inappropriate behavior. (If that makes sense)

It would have been wonderful if I would have been smarter in the begining of this with the other guy. Somehow making sure that feelings never came in to it. I realized the other day that I have been even more selfish than I originally ever thought (surprise). Through all of this yes I have thought about how I would feel and how my husband would feel what I would be losing but I never once even considered his wife. On some level I know that is just so wrong, but true.

I know I am just rambling but it feels good to get all of this out of my head.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Yes, it's better to come here and get it all out. That is a good thing, that you are thinking about his wife.

If you could only realize, if the two of you could be together, it wouldn't be like you thought it would be. It's all exciting in the beginning, but that feeling never lasts.

[rcain03@hotmail.com 1]

I can understand your frustration with your feelings right now. I had a similar experience a few years ago...way before my surgery. The guy from my "past" made me feel things I had not felt in a long time with my husband. We actually had "fun" together and had so many things in common. We could talk all night long and never run out of things to talk about. I actually gave into temptation when my husband and I were having some serious problems in our marriage. (Hubby was drinking alot and running around alot) So, I justified it in my mind as turn around is fair play. I actually left my husband so that I could "see" this other man. I had the time of my life for a short time...but, like the others have said...once the "excitement" wears off and the "newness" is gone...I found myself finding out quickly that this new guy wasn't as great as I thought he was. He had problems and faults just like my husband but, in different ways. So, in short...I learned really quick who really loved me "always" and went back to my husband. Now, we work through our problems together...even though there are times we fight it out...but, we stick it out. I guess that's what matters in the end..isn't it?? Of course, the other guy is long gone...but, I do still think about him from time to time...only now...I can see it for what it is/really was. Good luck to you and if you ever need to talk...I'm on facebook! Welcome to Facebook