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struggler or delusional?

tellie

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tellie    0

tellie
Posted

I have not been in to this site for a very long time.

My band did NOT cure my obesity ( I am still a size 20 -3 sizes smaller than at my highest weight pre-band) but it cured my life long depression. I had my first band in 2003, revision in 2004 after I moved it by overeating. The second one I did not fill until 2 years after my surgery (was trying to have a baby, then was pregnant). My band expands to suit my needs. I can eat as much as any NORMAL person with no problem. This has not allowed me to lose a lot of weight, but the feeling of being normal, for the first time in my life, has actually changed my life.

I am happy for the first time in decades. 30 years I struggled with my hunger, constant, painful, desperate, unsatiable urge to swallow, didnt matter what...never enough. And thanks to my band I finally have limits. The fog lifted and I am enjoying my life tremendously.

Is it an ilusion? am i not willing to do the work and lose more weight? is it wrong to be enjoying this "freedom" to enjoy food with limits. My husband asked me the other day why I was not "using" my band if its there. I tried to explain that I am happy like this! But is the whole point of the band to be thin? Isnt being happy, healthy and fit ( and LOVING the lifestyle in the process) enough? What do you think?

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