to lie or not to lie. . .

[Janiece 64]

I saw someone else's thread about what excuse to tell coworkers. This post is related, but I'm looking more for reasons why I should or shouldn't tell people. I'm still undecided. I don't even have a date yet, but I'm hoping it'll be early to mid January.

I understand that telling everyone will probably spawn some criticism and a lot of questions, but I really don't want to carry out an extended lie by faking a hernia or anything. I'm also hoping I can make them more sensitive to the plight of the chubbies. I don't want to feed into the stereotype of 'see, if all fat, lazy people just got of their butts, went on a diet and exercised, then they could all lose weight like Janiece!' I want them to know that diet and exercise weren't enough, and that I needed some help. I want them to go on the journey with me and see that the band is not the easy way out. . . I dunno, maybe I'm being to idealistic. But even if I don't change the world's perception of obesity, at least I won't have to hide in my cube during lunch and stress out all the time about someone figuring why I've developed a sudden ocd problem with cutting up my food. PLUS, I won't have to explain if I eat too fast and puke at a lunch meeting!! :cursing:

So. . .any good or bad experience stories with telling coworkers or friends?

Thanks,

[vonhelzing 3]

I've told everyone at work and the support has been great. My co-workers are very proud of me and are inspired to be more healthy themselves.

[Donna113 2]

I told anyone who asked. Since my weight loss has been so slow (23.5 lbs in 4 1/2 months) I know some are wondering why it's not working.

Those that don't understand the band think it should work like gastric by-pass and that the weight will just melt off. When I tell them it's all diet and exercise and that the band only helps with Portion Control of solid food, they don't understand why pay so much if it's basically a lifestyle change? Sometimes I ask the same question myself but I know that without the band, it would have been difficult to change my lifestyle so I don't regret doing it but I sometimes regret telling others about it.

[KikstersRT 0]

I am like others...and have told people. I'd shout it from the rooftops if I could (that I am getting banded). I am so proud of myself that I realize that I need help to be healthy (rather than living a lie and continuing to do nothing about it, and getting bigger in the process). It's not a surprise that I am this way. I have found that people admire my choice, and are helping me in anyway they can.

Be proud. Tell everyone so they can support you!! :cursing:

[FeliciaLevy75 0]

I tell anyone who will listen. If they can't handle it or if they can't process it then I understand that is their obstacle, not mine.

The way I look at it, lying in some form or another - whether to ourselves or our [would-be] supporters - is what got us here in the first place. Justification for unhealthy behaviors is a form of talented and packaged lies, no matter how "white" or "innocent" a lie may seem.

Success begins with acknowledgment and, while some people cannot handle what we are doing or fully understand why, I have found that I am much happier being open, honest, and sharing my new lifestyle.

No more hiding, no more justification. Just a healthier me.

So far, so good!

[luluc 6]

it's all personal.

not sharing or disclosing having surgery - i do not view as lying.

80% of this journey has been my effort - i view the band as a tool to keep me on track & to assist in not re-gaining.

the band does not go food shopping for me & pick out healthy items. the band does not got to the gym & run when i rather stay in bed. the band does not get out my scales or measuring cups to dole out my meals. i'm in control of all those - again, the band "assists".

i am very grateful for the band, it "helped" re-teach me what i already knew - but lost sight of. only my parents and brothers know i am banded; all good support and i would likely expect that from others that i shared this with.

for those who want to share - do so; it's a great gift getting proper support in the journey.....however some just like to keep it to themselves - all personal.

[Tinakins 0]

I'm not yet banded and wondered about this too... I have told friends and family but don't want to tell co-workers or people I've just met, etc... I guess I'll have to take it as it comes.

Something that seems to have come up here is that the argument against banding, I guess as having not been banded I'm still in the process of justifying my decision. The argument against the band is that if you still have to exercise and watch what you're eating, etc... then why not just do it without the band? What do you feel about this? I guess I worry that I have failed at trying to stick to eating well as luluc said, I know what to do... I just can't seem to do it - do you find the band really has kept you on track? I don't want to have the surgery, especially telling others and then fail at it? And I also want to understand for myself and for others why, if I still have to do it, I'll be able to do it after the band if I can't do it now.

[slim48 0]

Hi

I told my boss and my co-woker and they are so supporter of what I am doing ,that everyday I tell the what I learn in support group,That now Ishowing them how to read lable and watch out for surgar.they said I am the one getting the band ,but they are going to change the way they eat,and try to follower me.with small portion.so I teach them everthing I learn .so it depend on your office.Iwill be band on 12/16/08.and my boss me in everthing I needed to have after I get band.:cursing: tell it and be proud of it. so if you get sick and somthing happen they know thatyou have a port in side.(just in case you pass out )

[Carrie_C 9]

I didn't tell anyone I work with because they are all very judgemental and negative. My family knows and I had told a few other people after I had surgery, but they all looked at me like I was crazy so I stopped telling anyone. When someone asks how I lost the weight, I just say I pushed back from the table.

[TQUAD64 9]

I told some my decreasing size was due to "clean living and righteous thoughts"...

quote]

Jack cracks me up. :cursing:

As far as telling, really you will know deep down in your heart who you want to tell or not tell. Personally, I don't discuss any of my medical issues with my co-workers or friends.

Good luck with your decision.

[trayrenee 0]

I would say do what comes naturally. If you are a person who kind of lives out loud like I do then tell everyone.

If you are a person who is more reserved, then stay reserved.

There really isn't a wrong answer unless you go against what is your true personality.

I've told everyone. That's just how I am. The only person I have not told at work is the office busy body and 90% of that is b/c when she does find out it will drive her nuts that she didn't know and wasn't on the journey.

If anyone is negative they are negative behind my back. And that's just fine w/me. To me that's good manners. But it's so nice b/c it's just so nice b/c it's just that little bit of super seriousness (not that losing weight w/out the band is not serious - -but you know how bad food pushers can be) -- but it's almost like telling folks you are in rehab. I have people very careful about bringing me homemade Cookies etc. And I don't have to make up the 100th excuse why I'm not going out to eat.

And also I feel like I'm running the show. And for anyone who asks me "isn't it a crutch?" -- I say to them -- it works b/c you can eat 4oz of food, get all your Vitamins and then not be hungry for 4 hours. If you can do that w/out the band -- awesome. But seriously every person I've met skinny, heavy, tall and short has said "Oh, yeah, that's not a lot of food"

So be honest w/yourself. You know what makes you feel comfy and just stay true. I have found most people are infinately fascinated about the LB and the nicknames people have come up w/it cracks me up. I have one friend who asks me -- how's your stomach rubber band going?

Good luck w/whatever you do.:cursing:

[Janiece 64]

I guess I worry that I have failed at trying to stick to eating well as luluc said, I know what to do... I don't want to have the surgery, especially telling others and then fail at it?

Actually that is another reason I didn't want to tell anyone. I know this isn't a diet, but in the back of my mind, I don't want to disappoint anyone if I fail at this like everything else. . .:cursing:

[SeattleSweetie 5]

I faked it by telling people I found out I had a thyroid condition and that it was finally being treated. When I started losing weight and obviously having more energy and whatnot, I attributed it to medication and hormone replacement for thyroid treatment.

I know, it's not good to lie, and I should 'stand up and be proud' and all that, but that's not how it worked for me. I have a number of people I work with that I don't particularly care for, and I didn't want to feel like they were looking down on me with the standard thin-person mentality of "oh look, she had to get surgery cause she couldn't do it on her own". I kindof chose the thyroid excuse as a way to say "hey look, it's not my fault I'm fat, no one knew I just had a medical problem".

Sad, but it was much easier to handle that way and I don't feel self-consious at work wondering what people are thinking or saying about me behind my back. And plus now, when people say I'm looking good and ask if I'm losing weight, or how I'm feeling, I feel really good about myself knowing they're actually happy that I'm getting better, instead of judging me behind fake smiles or something.

[luluc 6]

I guess I worry that I have failed at trying to stick to eating well as luluc said, I know what to do... I just can't seem to do it - do you find the band really has kept you on track? I don't want to have the surgery, especially telling others and then fail at it?

tinakins - i found the band extremely useful in just that purpose, helping me make better food choices. for whatever reason (and i'm thankful for), i really lost the cravings for the foods that helped put the LBS on: (chips, potatoes, Pasta, pizza - etc).

there really wasn't any food i didn't like then or currently, i just enjoyed TOO much of it all, and the band has helped with my portions.

so while i am SO glad i got the band, i also realize that i put a lot of work into it as well. i revamped my eating habits, got back in the gym, and pay an awful lot attention to what groceries i purchase.

i KNEW that i was going to be a slow loser in the begining - and i was; only 25lbs in the first 5 months. i would have been mortified if i told anyone & had the food police or daily questions as to why the band "isn't working". i also needed 8 fills for restriction. so while i was banded in oct - true restriction for me didn't happen till march....it was a tad frustrating - keeping it private made it manageable....for me at least.

[Carrie_C 9]

I am losing slow too, that's another reason I haven't told anyone.