Kaiser Richmond Pre-op

[swrktp 1]

Sorry for the long email. This whole marriage and relationship things got me thinking..............

Last november when I started my lap band journey I brokw up with someone. They didn't get it and my reason was the next 6 months to a year are all about me and getting my life and health back. It was a good decision for me I have needed all the me time to get through this..........

I want another relatsionship but not until I feel like I have gotten myself emotionally and physically back together.

What they say is like attracts like. So you attract your emotional equal. That scares me because I don't want to be with someone who is my emotional equal right now!! I still have alot of work to do. Sometimes I think with bariatric surgery we are with someone who was our emotional equal when we were at our lowest emotional point and as we change our bodies and minds and grow emotionally our previous choices no longer work for us. Again we outgrow people. Eithet they grew with you or in your journey to emotional health you leave them behind. Sometimes other people don't want to change with us and we have to respect that and let go. We can only change ourselves and it is arrogant to think we can force someone to grow with us if they are not ready. So with marriage you are a part of a we but also a me. Hard balance sometimes. Relationship are dynamic not static. Both people have to constantly change and grow together for it work.

I don't know. I hate divorce and I hate what it does to people. I think people should make it work if they can but sometimes it just is what it is. And I totally get why the divorce rate is so high. Same thing with alcoholics and drug addicts they get sober and more times than not they lose their marriages and relationships. The nature of the beast when one strives to become more emotionally and spiriturally healthy is we sometimes lose things and people who we think we can't live without. But life has a way of putting other people in our life who will grow and change with us to replace what we lost. Saying goodbye is sadly a huge part of emotional growth sometimes. Nothing easy about change as we all know.........

If you tell someone what they are doing or saying is hurting you and they try to change or try to do something different keep those people around. Those people really care about you. But if they refuse to change or refuse to stop doing things that sabateage or hurt you than protect yourself and walk away. But the only way to know what kind of a person they are is to put yourself out there and tell them how you really feel. Don't assumethey already know................and in the end remember that "if someone shows you who they are..........believe them." Don't make excuses for them believe what they are telling you and saying to you and how they treat you.

Ok, ok...........seriously enough thinking I have to sleep. Sorry for all my philosophying tonight.

food log tomorrow but I was a good girl!! No PB'ing and no over eating. Not to hungry so a good day!!!

Edited June 28, 2009 by swrktp

[tamra. 6]

Good Morning everyone, stay cool today!

Nicole - I think maybe you and your hubby should seek counsling. the jealousy gets old REAL QUICK and before you know it, as much as you love him you might end up wanting to divorce and find someone who treats you like a queen, isn't controlling, etc.

When I was 16 I had a controlling bf. I have always been heavy so it wasnt due to weight, but it was the worse thing EVER I had no friends, he would unhook my phoneline when I fell asleep. All kinds of weird stuff. After him my next ex (my daughters dad) we were together 7 years, been broken up these past 3. He was NEVER jealous, EVER. and I believe that's why we lasted so long, yet after a while we just outgrew each other, was with him since I was 18.

My new "friend" (Havent taken the title, it scares me) is supporting this whole new life, yet hes not. I am not sure how the jealousy will play as he is ALITTLE jealous now. He keeps telling me please dont get to skinny, please dont leave me after.

So, in ending my sunday morning ramble, I believe the 50% rate to be so true! surprised it's not higher.

ps - I finally posted in the "photos" section. I put body shots which I would never do usually, but i have.

[swrktp 1]

down another pound and that tiime of the month again which is a suprize. I usually go up a couple pounds. Certainly not complaining.

Going exercise today heading out now. I don't want to but I figure I have 26 days between now and the next fill and I need ever day of exercise I can get!!

Nicole yea maybe counseling is a good idea. I am thinking about doing that again. God knows I have done enough of it in my life. Had to be in weekly therapy for two years in grad school as a requirement to graduate and LEARNED so much. Also had a year after my divorce. I can't say a negetive thing about therapy I loved it!! But I also like to philosophize and be constantly changing and growing............so it was right up my alley.

I am wondering about anger managment after hearing her talk yesterday. I am finding I get angry easier now with the weight falling off. Not sure what that is about but I teach anger management classes but never took one. I am thinking I might see what Kaiser has to offer!! Totally different to just sit in a class and not teach it. But seriously think I might take an anger management class even if the person I get mad at most of the time is me!! LOL. Does that sound crazy??

[meandmyweightloss 0]

Hey ladies!!!! vI am so bummed I couldn;t make it yesterday I really needed it!! We had a Bar B Q for my hubby's birthday yesterday and I thought I would get enough doen beofre but just was not able to.....any plans for a lunch soon...I really miss everyone!!!!

As far as the relationship thing goes.....it crossed my mind how he would be.....but he has been great, my hubby like Christines has lost weight right along wit me....he looks amazing and we do the aame always incourage each other......I think he likes me thinner although I don't think it really matters to him either way....and we tease each other when we see someone checking the other one out...I think its flatter when someone checks him out...he's hot...what can I expect!! :thumbup: He says the same about me......We have been married 5 years and I think this journey has just brought us closer....I am so lucky!!!

[Desperate1 1]

Good morning ladies. I can not think of a better way to start the day than reading all the posts.

Tamra, I can't wait to check out your photos - good for you for posting them - it kinda helps you let go.

Tina, Jes & I were talking about the carquines bridge - the one you crossed in vallejo to get to pinole. It's somewhat new and they included a sidewalk on it. I have ridden my bike across it but never walked it. Should be fun. You are more than welcome to join us!! Glad you found another pair of pants.

Rosie, where are you? I sent you the link yesterday and we are all waiting to hear from you!

Donna - I'm reading the book you lent me and the only thinkg that is upsetting to me about the band is the animal trials - I am an animal person fully!

Nicole, that reminds me - I use to want to be a vet or a vet's assistant but I get too emotional. I had a pet rat that had bleeding in his brain so I had to put him to sleep and I cried for days - just last week I took one of my labs to the vet for an ear infection - there was a lady there with her sick cat and they had to put her to sleep - when the doctor called the cat in, I actully teared up! So, now you have it, i can never do what you do - I'm not strong enough :thumbup:

Off to start my day - want to get a walk in before it gets way too hot

[singand_dance 8]

Good morning ladies!

Dr. Fisher told me the divorce rate for bariatric patients was 50%. My mom and I sat there, "Isn't that the national rate?". I think he was just trying to figure me out. He probably went in thinking I'm young/immature, I live with some boyfriend and I just never tried hard. Instead, I've been with my bf for almost 6 years now, living together for 1 and we do plan on getting married. Our relationship has lasted longer than several marriages we know of. So I'm not concerned.

I started the Wii Active 30 day challenge yesterday. I'm sore this morning! My only problem with it was the squats. I had the leg band thing on, but it barely fit on my thigh just above my knee- Def. not at the top of the thigh like they suggest. So even when I was squatting super low, it said I wasn't. So I cheated. I would lift my leg just to get through the segment. I hate squats.

[AudsMom 2]

Goood morning ladies!!!!

Well we will probably end up doing counseling, but we have been there done that about 8 yrs ago. He is not a fun person to go with either, atleast our last person wouldnt tell him to shut up, and he sits there and just talks smack on me..

You ladies all say your hubbies loosing weight helps, with christine gosh she just has a great marriage, i dont know any marriage like it so i dont know what its like but what i hear its nice. I think that also doesnt help, my parents didnt even live together thru their marriage i dont know any loving best friend marriages..

Dont get me wrong i know mike loves me, I am quite spoiled with mike, he is very good at not checking out other girls and being dedicated to me. But its getting suffocating. He has lost almost 35 lbs since i started this journey.

I tell him if he cant be nicer to me and help me out and be supportive we wont last, he thinks im joking... im serious! Its hard having a kid involved though.

Ok onto better news we are going to san jose today then we are gonna venture down to santa cruz so auds can play in the ocean and stuff. I am excited.

Hugs:D

[swrktp 1]

Yea I totally agree I think what Christine has is a great marriage. I have noticed that already and everything she says about Brian is so positive. Which I notices make her upbeat and positive all the time.............when I am ready for a relationship I want something like that. Just need Christine to tell me where she went shopping for him cause I need to go there!!

Ok exercised some. Had a protien bar this morning and those are so darn heavy and full of Fiber I am still full at 12pm. I age at 8am. Or maybe that is the band doing its job? I don't know yet. I know when I eat those I am not hungry for hours......they have 30 grams of protien and 180 calories but I bought them from some specialty store. Carbs are low too.

Taste like eating a chalky brick but the full feels so great.........

I have fruit for later today when I get hungry. Want to try strawberries. Hope that won't get stuck.

No PB so far today!! I am staying at 1/3 or below cup and that seems to be the answer. I was estimating cup size before but now I am carefully measuring and I think that has helped the PB'ing to stop. So happy!! I think resterants are where I have the worst PBs and I figured out today it is because I have no way to measure how much I eat. I estimate so I am gonna try to not go to a resterant until my next fill unless it is with you guys!! :-P

Edited June 28, 2009 by swrktp

[swrktp 1]

Nicole what is August 8? I might want to go. But ladies I WILL FOR SURE be walking. My cardio is really not where it should be. If I run I will throw up at the end. None of this PB'ing I will seriously throw up!!! I HAVE to walk it!!

I

[swishbc 0]

Mmm, a chalky brick? Sounds DELICIOUS! :thumbup:

Thanks Tina, I wish I could order one just like him for ya! We met 16 years ago on his high school graduation day. I went to his family graduation party with a friend that knew him but we had never crossed paths in high school. We totally hit it off and haven't been apart since! We dated for 2 years and then eloped 5 days after my 19th birthday in 1995. Pretty crazy, huh? No one thought it would last cuz we were so young and had eloped without telling anyone but here we are 14 years later happier than we have ever been.

Tina, maybe the key for you is to eat 1/4-1/3 cup of food 5-6 times a day. Smaller amounts might help keep you from PB'ing so much, but if you do it 5-6 times a day you'll be sure to get enough Protein and calories in too. Maybe try that for a week and see what you lose! I bet it'll work.

[Desperate1 1]

So I guess it's unanimous we are all jealouse of christines marriage :thumbup:

Tina, I will WALK with you!

Jes & I walked the bridge this morning. funny story...

so she text me around 8:50 telling me she's going to walk the bridge if I want to I can join her. My husband was still asleep but immediately wakes up to ask me who's trying to reach me so early in the morning... I tell him smallerJ - we're going to walk the bridge in 15 minutes - he was up, out of the bed and ready to go in no time - he had decided he was walking with us.... I can only guess that he needed to make sure that smallerJ was really a woman LOL. It was a nice walk - the breeze over the bridge keeps you cooler on such a warm day.

Jes & I are going to check out the Richmond group this Wednesday - anybody up for it..?

Tamra, you work in Richmond - care to join us?? I don't have all the details yet but I believe its at 6 or 6:30 - I'll post it as soon as I find out.

Time to start making lunch..

[AudsMom 2]

So i am going to invent a cell that you can talk to and it types for us :thumbup:

SO tina i agree with Christina, if 1/3 keeps u from Pbin just do that! Just make sure to get the cals in and Protein.

So its 12:20 and im already at 48oz on my 4th bottle now. Ii hope this inscane thirst goes away. I was fine yesterday but thirsty again today, and yes I get my daily 64+ its weired its ever since my fill.....

Have you ladies ever wondered how these motorcycle guys go camping with soooo little stuff? There is a ton of traffic right pass?davis bla.

ok before i start talking about nonsense lol ill send this :smile2: also lbt need to make this accessable from our email to reply!!!

[tamra. 6]

Candra - I do work in Richmond but I am off @ 4, home by 4:30 to get my daughter. I dont have a babysitter besides my mom who is my fulltime =( so sometimes I have a heard time going to classes, etc.

[smallerj 2]

Candra I looked in my binder and yes the group meets 6-7:30 1st & 3rd Wed. room C 1-3 on the 3rd floor.

Tamra hopefully you can make it sometimes, though the group is a little different than the Sac group it's good to go and hear about others journeys.

if anyone else is in the area please join us.

The bridge walk was great! Now I don't feel like doing anything but I have housework ugh...

[singand_dance 8]

Anyone else insanely hot? I've had the airconditioner on since 10 this morning and it just keeps getting hotter inside! The forecast did call for 105+ today. Ahh Sacramento. Ugh. Just complaining a little. :thumbup:

I started doing day 2 of the Wii Active 30 day challenge. I told it I was not doing the squats. Well I did some side squat thing, but my knee started to hurt, so I skipped it. Then it was some running, and my knee hurt. I had problems with my knees as a teenager so I said Nuh-uh. And I iced it and quit. Now I feel like I should do a little something, but I'm scared! I may have just tweaked it a little but I really don't want chronic knee problems.