What to tell work?

[2boys3cats 0]

I have made the decision to keep this surgery very private. I tested the waters with a few people and got very negative results, thus, knowing how I operate, I believe keeping this part of my journey private will be the right decision for me.

I am wondering what to tell work ( I know my HR people will know what the surgery is) - I had my gall bladder out in 2003, so I can't use that excuse. Is there another surgery that I could mention I had that won't need much explanation? I am not one to make up stories, but know that people will ask ( they are always more direct then I am).

What have any of you said you are doing or why you are out of work?

[xtightend 0]

When the people I work with said "How can you take time off at a time like this??!!" I told them I was having surgery but did not say what kind. They know I have already had my gall bladder out too. Right now they seem to have decided I had a vascectomy lol.http://www.lapbandtalk.com/images/smilies/modern/blink.gif

[Tyme2GetRite 0]

Wow xtightend that's funny...lol

well 2boys3cats i completly understand where you are coming from. being that i am on the post side of things looking back, i really wish i would of kept it private from the people at work:thumbdown:. like you said besides HR knowing about it i just think you should tell them you have to have surgery or a medical procedure and do not go into details about it, leave it at that! i wanted to explain my absence but now i get all kinds of questions that sometimes get annoying after a point:mad2:. i can't move without somebody asking me "how it works"? "what's a port"? or something crazy that i really don't feel like explaining:cursing:.I'm still learning myself and i'm not the spokes person for LapBands :cursing:. it really gets bad when we have Pot Luck lunch around the Holidays, all eyes are on what i am eating:thumbdown:. i also have found out that 2 other people on my job has already had it done that i do ask questions or we talk about it, but it's different because they have been down this road before:rolleyes2:. so if i could do that part over i will keep it private. Good Luck i hope it works out for you, and Welcome to The Journey:thumbup: !

Dr.Ernest C. Rehnke

Palms Of Pasadena

St.Petersburg,Fl.

[joiful 0]

I almost told no one. Some how it leaked to my niece because of my 17 year old. I had spinal surgery and I blurted out this was a lot easier than lap band to my sister (5 months after my lap band surgery)! Then my sister told some of her friends and now it is out except for my husband's family. I told a couple friends later and one wished I hadn't. After we had lunch she made a commet about how much I eat. I told her I can eat a cup of food at a time. She has always been skinny and even had anorexia (sp?). I wished I kept it a lot more quiet but then I think if I can help some one out there then I am glad I am ousted.

[thenume 2]

A medical procedure sounds good to me-IF you have to say anything at all. If you have PTO days then why say anything? Funny thing is, even HR doesn't have to know! Paid time off is Paid time off!

[Camikat 0]

I'm not sure about where you live but in my province its against labour laws for HR to ask what exactly I am getting done... although I know it is killing the HR Manager permitted my time off! I have thrown her off by wearing faux glasses for a few days (laser surgery) and rubbing my jaw (wisdom teeth removed) a few days later. Its now turned into a bit of a private game to keep her guessing!

[gentylwind 1]

Some people have said they are having a hiatal hernia repair. A lot of people getting banded do end up with that anyway.

[ForMyBoys 0]

Gentlywind read my mind or what I was about to post. I ended up having a hernia repaired during my procedure and didn't even know it until 1 week ago when my husband said "Oh, did I tell you about that hernia the doctor repaired ". My surgery was 11/5/08 a month ago. I asked my doctor about it yesturday , for my first fill. He said it was no big deal that alot of lap band patients never know they even had a problem. This would be the perfect excuse as you will probably have this done during your operation anyway and then it wouldn't be such a stretch from the truth. It would also explain why you have to watch your intake because of the healing process of the hernia. I have only told my husband , mother and father. It is very easy to hide this procedure . You will also not loose so drastically as gastric and that will help conceal and keep you healthy.

[TQUAD64 9]

Because of HIPPA and the availabity of FMLA, you are not required to disclose your medical condition to your employer.

Now of course you will explain to your employer that you have a medical condition that requires you to either be away from work for a period of time and/or time off for intermitten doctor appointments.

As an example, I had my doctor complete my FMLA form confirming that I was under medical care and would need time off work. I submitted this form to my HR department. The form does not state what the issue is.

I actually took vacation time for two weeks for the surgery. No one at work knows what I did other than I need time off for medical appointments and lab work. Likewise my family, coworkers and friends do not know what I did. I did however tell my sister in case something went wrong with the procedure so she could help my adult children if need be.

I hope the information helps you.

[ForMyBoys 0]

I love the HIPPA rule, but HIPPA never stopped an office full of big mouth gossiping co-workers from coming up with everything under the sun . The sad part is that it's like a game to co-workers. The more you try to hide from them the more they work at trying to uncover the truth. My husband and I have worked in medical for 20 years. We have a staff of 20 people. It is unbelievable the stuff that goes around the office on a daily basis. You don't have to tell any body anything by law but law does not stop co-workers from asking questions, creating their own diagnosis or for some maybe being truly concerned about your health. :cursing:

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Just say you don't want to talk about it. Period. Then don't.

[Florida Pete 1]

It's hard for me to relate to people who want to keep this very private. I have been very open and upfront with everyone about this surgery. Sure there has been some negative reactions but that's par for the course. Those are the same people who critize you for being fat in the first place.

Really if you want to use a white lie about where your going simply tell people your having your appendix removed. That's a good one if you have never had it removed.

[mjacot35 0]

I only told 3 girls that I am very close to at work. I also work in the medical field w/surgeons and didn't want to hear any negatives. I told my boss that I went on vacation (girls week) because my husband had to take my daughter to her cheerleading games and my bosses daughter is on the same squad.

I had some severe left sided shoulder pain and was readmitted to the hospital the day before I was due back to work. I only took a week vacation. So that was a little hard to come up with an excuse to explain how I went from vacation to the hospital. I do not usually lie and my husband was very pissed and thought that I should have told the truth. He doesn't understand how people are especially to someone that has weight loss surgery. It's a lie that I was willing to live with.

I had 3 c-sections and I knew the pain would be nowhere near that pain. If I didnt have the shoulder pain I could of went back in 4 days.

My mother-in-law told her side of the family the night I was readmitted because I was not w/my husband and kids at their family party. I had a stroke 2 years ago and they wouldn't let up w/the questions. They thought it was something along those lines so she blurted it out.

[sistasassy 6]

Well, I have finally come to this conclusion/opinion:

1. If you feel like telling them, then tell them and be done with it. Stand you ground and don't let anyone change you mind. I tell everyone and I don't care what they opinion is about it. If they want to watch me eat, let them. If they watch for too long, I may just decide to recommend that THEY have the surgery too. OR
   
2. If you don't want work to know, just say "I had a little outpatient procedure done but I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." Then leave it at that. Since you did not offer exactly what you had done, most people will not push the issue. If they do push the issue, just tell them it's not really something you want to discuss at work. That should put a final end to it. They may go on to speculate that you had everything done from a splinter removed to a sex change but only you will know the truth.
   

Anyway, it is your choice and which direction you go. Just stand your ground whichever way you do go.

[dlmyvette 12]

wow.....this is a dilemma, but I agree with what other folks are saying. If you do not want to share. Say it's a surgical procedure and leave it at that. Just prepare for the Quest to figure it out (by co-workers). They are so intrusive. Honestly!!!

For me, I've been open to everyone in my office who asks as well as my family, friends, and church. Everyone knows! I don't care because for me, I just think about it as a journey. I don't care what others say and that's fine with me! I know who I'm doing this for and that's for me.

Good luck!