Getting banded on the 18th and having conflicted thoughts need advice

pch · December 1, 2008

I am getting banded on Dec 18th. Everything is ready to go, pre-op is on Dec 8th, sound great huh? well.....

Here is my situation. One of my good friends was banded last year in December, he has lost 130 pounds, and still has at least another 150+ to go. He is doing awesome, and has been there to tell me what to expect, etc...But he hasn't been tightened for 4 months, and we were out together this weekend as a family, and he had have eated over 2500 calories all day. Two double tall Americanos, a ton of bacon, two tiny Cookies, salad for lunch with a bag of pistachios, and a huge bowl of Pho with noodles, and meat, seriously, I was in shock. I am in the low carb phase right now and start my all liquid next week.

Now on the other hand, my mother is a closet bander, won't admit she had it (she had "gallbladder" surgery), yet I figured it out (this is a long story, but anywho) she had it down, she doesn't want anyone to know she had it done, so that's fine. I am watching her she got it done around March of this year and she looks great, fantastic, but she is at the complete extreme opposite end of the band. Super strict, barely eats. Thanksgiving consisted of a few bites of a baked potato, two bites of stuffing, and half a piece of pumpkin pie.

I can't turn to her for advice or ask her anything because she "didn't" have lapband surgery (she did), and so I am stuck with asking questions to my other friend which is fine.

They are at such opposite ends of the spetrum, and it confuses me. I mean how can he eat so much? and why is she eating so little? Granted, he has way more weight to lose than her, but I thought you couldnt stomach noodles or Pasta of any type because it expands in the tummy? I thought sugar was a no no, so how can she eat the pie?

Is there a medieum to these people? I am just beyond myself and now concerned about what I am doing.

I need a tool, that is why I am chosing this route. I need a tool to help remind me "that is enough" and a tool that will help me to make better choices, to build up a habit, and to change my lifestyle to a much healthier one, but I am seeing two very different types of banders right now, and am just boggled.:thumbup:

*slim* · December 1, 2008

It really depends on the restriction as to how much you can eat. Your mother may have a lot of restriction, and your friend doesn't have much restriction at all. Your friend really needs an adjustment if he is able to eat that much. You will have to find a happy medium. You want to be restricted enough that you are not hungry between meals on a small amount of food, but you don't want to be so loose that you are eating everything that you did preband. That's defeats the purpose of the band. The band is a tool to help us. We each have to be willing to make lifestyle changes and better food choices. I wish you the best of luck with your surgery.

MellyB · December 2, 2008

First of all I would think that it might have something to do with the difference between men and women. Another thing is that a person who needs to lose 280lbs probably has some major issues that haven't been resolved. I'm not sure how much your mom needs to lose.

I think it's a perfect example of how everyone is different. I wondered what to expect, and my experience was nothing like I expected. It's just how you go in and what you make of it. It's a fantastic tool, but it's just a tool, it's not the whole shebang.

kgloverii · December 2, 2008

PCH,

You definitely are witnessing two ends of the banding spectrum. As for the guy who is downing a ton of calories, it sounds like there is a lack of restriction, as well as a ton of poor food choices. None of the choices he made inherently are 'bad' but all put together, they are unwise and making it very hard for him to lose weight...

Your mother is being a very judicious bandster who is apparently following the rules very closely. Some may think it too strict, and there are probably bandsters out there who don't think it is strict enough.

I went into my surgery figuring if I got down to a size 12 I'd be satisfied because I'd be 'normal-sized.' But once I got there, I realized it was not enough, and I am interested in milking every pound out of the band that I can. I maintain pretty tight control of my eating regimen, but nothing is off limits. I ate sweet potato pie on Thanksgiving and there was not a millisecond of guilt. I eat what I want, but am filled to a capacity where I don't need much to feel satisfied.

I'd go into your surgery aiming for the stars... Make your goal NORMAL weight... Some banded patients lose 50 pounds and are 'satisfied' and stop getting additional fills. Some banded people like having tight control and want to defy expectations. Shoot for the latter. Don't shortchange yourself... but don't think you can't eat cake occasionally. You CAN.

The road through Band Land is long, and you'll have a few detours... but you'll find your own way...