Shrinkin' Violets Part 3 Read HERE!

[Kat817 19]

I unlike where you are coming from Pamela can pinpoint almost to the minute when my eating issues started, and led to my weight issues.

Most of you know my story----I'll shorten it as much as possible! Married at 17, he cheated from early on, had my DD Manda, divorced, married again 4 years later, and he was abusive, seriously so, and had lied to me from day one, he was still married, was an ex con---all kinds of things naive me had never encountered before! Well one day well into the abuse, we were in the store, and we past a woman who was overweight, but not morbidly so, and he said to me that if I ever looked like that he would leave my ass. HELLO FOOD!

Food had never been a big deal to me. I ate and went on with life. I had a normal reaction to food---like "normal" people do. There IS a difference! I have lived on both sides of this road and there IS a difference. From that day, I cooked different, adding butter, and cream, and ate tons more than I ever had or ever had wanted to. I even bought weight gain from GNC and drank it. In the end I know the weight helped me get him away from here, and allowed things to end the way they did.

Then, I did not trust myself, my own judgement, I did not trust men-------so the weight was not a hindrence in that respect. I was scared of everything!

So I stayed home, was an amazing Mom! And I ate. One day I woke up and realized I did not want Manda to be fat---and tried to change. And it come to light---I am addicted! I have altered the way I look at food, and how my body reacts to food. I have given my body wrong signals for so long, it no longer reacts the way it used to....period!

When I was at my sweet spot with my fill, I felt like the old me again---food was not the be all end all.

My brother is an alcoholic---------8 years sober, but he cannot drink, at all. He cannot have a small glass 3 times a day....and a shot for a snack twice a day. He has overcome (within reason) his addiction by total avoidance. I cannot do that with food. And where I cannot see him with his drinking issues, stopping after a civil glass of wine with dinner----he would binge.....I find myself doing that with food. And total avoidance is not an option.

When Rick come back into the picture---he was already safe, and he already had my heart, so when he accepted me as I was --- it sealed my fate! And I have been trying in all the years since reuniting with him, to get this weight off, be the person I know I was---and the band was the only thing I found to do that......now I need filled back to that spot!

I really think once you do whatever to your "eating center" and gain weight, it is changed permanently! It is different. Whether that change come about hiding food in a closet to eat after lights out when someone is 8 years old, or whether it is when you are in your 20's or 30's--------when you change....it alters how your body metabolizes things, and it is a battle from then on!

Few people do as I did, and set out to be fat. I had no idea I was setting myself up for a lifetime battle! I ended up with a good life, and don't regret the moves I made, but wish I could do as I thought and just go back to being the old me, and eating and thinking of food the way I did then.

Fever is gone, wish the hacking cough and stuffy head would go too!!!

I had quit using my sinus spray----maybe a month ago and wham! Gonna go buy me another bottle of saline and Dr. it!

BBL----gonna go eat some chicken salad.< /strong>

Kat

[Daisalana 33]

Not sure if I had any head issues, I was born a fat baby, and since I can remember I just love food. It tastes good, I like it in my mouth, etc. I think that's why the band is good for me, when I'm at a good restriction, eating becomes a chore and I lose the enjoyment from it, so I eat less.

But back to my current (not so restricted) reality, we went to Quiznos for lunch.. I had a bistro melt "Sammie" which is a small flatbread sandwhich.. was alright, wish I'd gotten different filling.. was real beefy and spicy. Also ate vinegar & sea salt chips, and 1/2 red gatorade.

We had layoffs here yesterday morning, one of the girls laid off screwed up our sample room (one reason I think she got the axe) but I didn't realize just how screwed up it was until today. I spent 30 minutes trying to find a sample of one of our dies--with no luck. I finally gave up, it's such a headache in there. I asked the girl who use to have that job (somewhat jokingly) if she plans to fix it.. she said she did, eventually. YAY!

[kity 2]

You guys rock! What ever our "issue" is...we have each other to get through it with. I thank God for my Violets!

Where the hell is TracyK? Hope everything is ok!

[TerriDoodle 6]

HOw's this for luck?? Yesterday I increased the deductible on my son's car insurance to $1,000. TODAY he had a wreck. :thumbup::cursing::thumbup::cursing::cursing:

[Teachlady 3]

Good afternoon, Violets..

WHERE IS TRACY????

Ethan just left and Gramma is pooped! No bell choir tonight, thank goodness. Just a singing rehearsal from 7-9. Ethan comes tomorrow morning from 8-4 again. Bob took him out for some fun in the snow today, but it didn't wear Ethan out at all. Ethan didn't take a nap all day... so no quiet time for me.

We're going out tonight for supper. I don't know what I'm going to have. I want to stay lo carb as much as possible. I'm guessing it will be fish or ribs.

TRACYYYYYYYYYYY...WHERE ARE YOU?????

[Teachlady 3]

HOw's this for luck?? Yesterday I increased the deductible on my son's car insurance to $1,000. TODAY he had a wreck. :thumbup::cursing::thumbup::cursing::cursing:

OH NO!!! Is he ok????

[TracyK 3]

:thumbup: Here I am... :thumbup: My neck is killing me. I will post more tomorrow ladies. I plan on staying in a soma coma this evening and tonight.....

[TracyK 3]

by the way judy....congrats on you being back in the 17somethings....I am SO happy for you. I know how much it meant to you to see that! :thumbup:

Terry-hope your son is OK

Pamela-thanks for the text

[TerriDoodle 6]

Oh yes, he's fine! Just a fender bender. No, wait, make that a front-grill-fender-and-side-door-bender.

Not his fault -- a guy changed lanes quickly, Evan was in his blind spot, ran Evan into another car, then TOOK OFF! Grrrrrrrrr. Poor Evan -- he was sobbing -- he LOVES his car. :thumbup:

[Kat817 19]

Just to let you know, they are inducing my DD tomorrow. She has to be in the hospital by 6 AM for induction!!! So at some point her PITA husband likes it or not, we will be headed that way-------and my 2nd or 3rd depending who is telling the story grandson will be here!! And finally we get to hear the big secretive name.....sorry that just rubbed me the wrong way. Seemed VERY juvenile!

Anyway, if you think my SIL sounds like a PITA, you should see his wierd ass mom!!! She is a hippie....not was a hippie...IS a hippie. Still wears her hair long and frizzy, and striped bell bottoms, and skimpy tops with no bra, and she is an easy DD. She wore a mini skirt sweater to their wedding. Yet SIL is Mr. conservative, and thinks his Mommy is #1-------totally wierd family. His Dad, his brother and his sister are/were all cops. His brother was recently fired for wrapping his mustang around a utility pole while drinking and driving, then claiming it had been stolen!!! My pooooooor future grandson.

Oh and I give the dog to my Dad......long story, the little Sh*t is lucky to be alive and well at my folks!

Gonna go finish up dinner, will check in later.

Kat

[Jennifur 0]

night everyone

i'm done

[kity 2]

Terry, glad to hear Evan is ok! First fender bender...welcome to the club!

Kat, happy early congrats on being a grandma again!!! Can't wait to see pix and to hear the name!

TracyK, thanks for checking in w/ us. We do not like missing Violets! I hope your soma coma helps your neck. Everyone says put heat on it, but my doc says ice...and after the initial shock of the cold...it will be numb and feel good!

Have a great night!

[Teachlady 3]

Good evening, Violets..

I'm back from my rehearsal. Sure is hard to get back in the groove after having 3 weeks off. Our concert is in March so we have to really work hard the next few months to get ready.

Kat.. can't wait to hear the baby's name and to hear that everything is ok. Kris has a dr's appointment tomorrow and pretty soon will start having them weekly. It's getting close!

I'm going to watch SVU with the Bobster. See you all tomorrow. Tracy and Jenn.. hope you're both feeling better tomorrow.

I did great eating today. We went to Culvers and I had a butter burger and took the bun off and just ate the burger, cheese and fixings. No fries, no custard. I've been a good girl!!

Everyone have a good evening. sleep well.

[janiebug 0]

Hello, well I had the biggest meltdown I have had in years!! I guess it was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. I was hysterical at work, the more I tried to calm down the worse I got. I finally got my shit together, but not till after my first two customers saw me lose whatever was left of my mind. It was over a stupid bank thing, it really wasn't a big thing. I am just so tense and on edge. Oh well tomorrow is a new day!!

[Kat817 19]

Jane I hear ya, and share your pain! My meltdown was a combination of the dog, feeling sick, scary news.....and I have been a basket case ever since.

I have been in tears most of the afternoon.

Please send Kinsey healing prayers and purple power by the bunches. Manda took her to the Dr. today for this upper respiratory junk we all have....and her throat was sore so she wanted strep ruled out. And they found a pronounced heart murmur. He wants to see her again when she is well, saying sometimes dehydration of being sick makes them sound stronger. She is also making an appointment with her regular pediatrician, this was the MD Manda used to work for.

I heard this, and lost it --- then come home and the damn dog had tore the house apart, and moronic SIL left the message that they were going to induce Abbey and he would be in touch.....like we would not be there....and I too was hysterical.

My poor husband is going to need to be sainted after dealing with me lately....

Feel better Jane.....my sister in law told me tonight, that a guy at work told her when she was losing it that they might kill her but they couldn't eat her....that is supposed to help???? Didn't help me....how 'bout you???

Kat