psych guy might delay my surgery!!!!

[kteggers 0]

:grouphug:

So i went to the psychiatrist to get my evaluation. 3 hours and 600 questions about whether or not i hear voices in my head. Never met the guy, just his secretary.

I go back a week later for a sit down with the actual dude. He tells me that based on his 600 questions, i seem perfectly normal, BUT i have some depression issues. DUH, i'm 5'5'' and almost 400lbs. Who wouldn't have some issues ya know?

So he wants to know how many diets i've tried, i'm much i've ever lost, how many pills i've tried, everything. Then he tells me after about 40 minutes that he is going to tell the doctor that i need to loose a significant amount of weight, between 5-20 percent BEFORE i have my surgery because he doesn't believe that i can change my eating ways.

Now, i'm pissed. I walked out in a kind of shock. How could this dude who didn't even ask me why i want the surgery or get into my feelings about being fat, judge me in that short of time. I know I will have to work hard, i've read everything on the band that i can get my chubby hands on! Can he actually do this? My whole goal in life is to loose weight so I can see my 2 year old grow up and give him a little brother or sister. I feel like the band will be like a starting over or starting fresh on a clean slate time for just me, ya know? Does he care about this? No, he only cared about his stupid nut-ball survery I took, cause that must be the know-all in pychiatric medicine....

My insurance doesn't require any weight loss, although I am TRULY trying. My doctor said as long as everything goes well I should be scheduled in January, now who knows when....20% is 80lbs!!!

.....has anyone had a shrink hold up their process?

I will be so crushed.

[gentylwind 1]

I am so sorry. It happens. Unfortunately a lot of those tests are very accurate and can reveal things about ourselves that are hard to look at or admit. Rather than get angry, perhaps you could consider investing in his (or another weight specialist's) services...if you don't really need it, you'll get cleared for surgery faster, and if you do, you'll be getting the resources you need to be ready to make this incredibly difficult change. I know its hard to hear, but the band really isn't a fresh start. You have to start before its in place...the results afterward can be disasterous if you discover you can't make the necessary changes.

You sound SO motivated hon. Hang in there, get some help doing this and you will be on your way to being banded before you know it. If your surgery does get delayed, its only for a little while. :hug: You can do this.

The other option of course is to start over with a different surgeon. But I would encourage you to see this as a way to get you ready for the band, not a way to keep you from it. We are all here to help you.

Edited November 27, 2008 by gentylwind

[babe134 0]

Probably not the answer you are looking for but 20% I do think is alot but 5% might be good. I was recently banded so I am no expert only about 4 weeks out. I zoomed throught the whole insurance process from initial call till band less than 30 days I think. BUTTTTT he is right on the eating habits. the band does not or at least for me has not helped me change my eating habbits I have changed because of no choice but I now am realizing I can never have soda maybe bread and rice I should be eating 3 msmall meals a day and all the other stuff. I did not have the time to realize how much work it is. I read it but still for some reason I still believed it would be easier after surgery so far its not. and just as much of a struggle and feels like a strict diet. If you start a diet now and loose that will be that much less after surgery to loose and possibly better prepare you for the long road.

Now as far as loosing weight my surgeon recommends pre and post of Protein shakes only no small meal just shakes. you would likely need 5-6 a day or more if hungry but you would loose about 1-2 lbs a day. If sticking to it I lost 10 pounds in 7 days and had a lot less to loose. It sucked and I was not a good shake person but I refuse to gain that back and am continuing to loose slowly being very careful what I eat. so if it is holding you up I do think you can loose it pretty fast if it is all you want.

In the process you will morn the food and the full feeling and the taste in your mouth but really you will have to change your way of thinking about food and if you do it preop you still have a choice to make sure it is really what you want

[Jachut 487]

The thing that I dont get about this is the surgery will HELP you to change your eating habits and it gives you hope, which is perhaps the most important factor of all!

I hope he doesnt hold it up for you.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Hang in there. Honestly? I'm 5'5", weighed 405 at 53 years old and have never been depressed. If you have some issues with that, maybe it's a good thing they caught it? AND he said 5-20%. I agree, 5% is do-able. I lost more than that on the preop liver shrink diet I was on.

You really don't want to go through the pain, time and expense of surgery and not be successful; no one would. If you need to prove to them you CAN change the way you eat, then do that. Many have insurance hoops to jump through; just consider this a different hoop. I understand your frustration but let it just make you more determined.

[finallyready@51 0]

oh man, that is messed up. I had my psy guy tell me that I also tended toward depression issues. It was not news to me but he did approve me for surgery. The surgeon is the one that wants me to loose 12 to 23 pounds. I always wonder about that - no help in doing it, just lose it. I am frustrated with the whole process right now, so I may not be the best person to give support, but I feel you pain! Have you decided what you are going to do?:grouphug:

[laurenica23 1]

I'm so sorry! I can only imagine how frustrating that is.

First, I would try to talk to your doctor about your frustrations. See what he/she says and work out a plan.

Then, if it's decided you need to lose a little weight, ask for some help with that. Whether it's meeting with a dietician for meal ideas or something else, losing a little weight will help you get into those good habits before surgery and jump start your weight loss. I wouldn't think 20% is the best idea, but 5% wouldn't be too bad, but I'm not a doctor. The higher your BMI (generally) the faster you lose. I watch the Biggest Loser and the bigger guys can lose 10 lbs a week and the smaller girls are struggling to lose 4.

Also, if you're placed on a pre-op diet before the surgery, you will lose weight. Those are designed to make you lose before surgery so your liver will shrink.

Good luck; I really hope this works out for you!

[nazzy 1]

gosh mine was so easytook 4 mins she asked me 10 questions i was approved.my dr had 3 people to pick i got her

[TQUAD64 9]

Sorry to hear this. But whatever you do don't give up. Many of us on thise site had to jump through so many hoops. We did it and you can do it too. The majority of people are required to go on a pre-op diet to shrink the liver. The liver sits on top of the stomach and must be lifted out of the way for banding.

Think of it as an opportunity to make the surgery procedure easier for your surgeon and you. Talk to your bariatric surgeon for their recommendation and don't let this stop you from becoming a healthier you!

[kteggers 0]

Thanks for everyones feedback! To answer some questions, i have been seeing a dietician for 5 months and have lost 12 pounds, so i am changing me eating habits and that's part of my issue. It's been 5 months and 12 pounds! So if he makes me loose 20%, that's going to be a long time!!! I'm hoping it's only another 5%!!

I wouldn't be against seeing someone to help me through all my weight issues, but it's not something I can afford. The only way I can even get the band is with awesome insurance.

Thanks again for everyones posts, i know it's just another hoop, i just saw an end coming soon and now it's pushed back and it's frusterating. I will be calling my dietician after T-day.

Thanks all!

[BillOh 15]

Geez, I take medication for depression, and that didn't stop me. He did say that suicide among weight loss surgery patients is higher than the rest of the population.

[missnikkie0514 0]

Hi, I have add that happen to me as well. I went to a psch dr on my own trying to rush the process and that dr told me that she would recommend me attending therapy sessions before she would approve me for the surgery. THe purpose of the sessions was to determine why I don't put myself first and why I keep gaining and losing, why I don;t make time to work out, and after hearing about my family stories etc they determined that I was not ready yet. I'm sorry but I don't think that is enough reason to deny someone. Luckily for me, my surgeon only works with a certain dr so I had to go to another psych dr and he approved me with no problem whats so ever. I think the first dr looked into my life too much and not that she doesn't make some sense with certain things but to be able to make the decision to deny someone this that's not right.

[LvnDreamz 0]

Just my opinion, but not every psychologist is prepared to deal with obesity. And some may even have their own agenda such as their own weight loss programs or group or private therapy sessions. I'm not saying that is what is going on with the psychologist that you saw, but it should be considered.

[adamsmom 4]

What a bummer! Have you considered writing to your psych guy exactly what you wrote here on this post--sounds like you didn't have an opportunity to speak up for yourself at the eval. Also, you could try getting a 2nd opinion. I have been reading some books on band sugery. There's one by Robert W. Sewell and Linda Rohrback: Weight Loss Surgery with the Adjustable Gastric Band--the book goes into everything, but there's also a section on what the psych folks are looking for during the eval--what they want to hear you say. If you haven't read this book you can find it online from Barnes and Nobles. Good Luck!

[Brockbabe82 0]

I too had my psych guy tell me that I am depressed and need to address it before surgery. I was so upset but I realized I needed to be proactive about my own health and I told him exactly how I felt.

My brother was killed in Sept 2007, and he was my best friend. I told the doc that anyone in their right mind would be upset and if he could not understand that then I want my file and I will go else where. He met with me one more time and then approved me. I actually continued to see him to deal with my emotional issues.

Every single one of us have negative feelings towards our weight, and the way our "lifes" are going (being overweight in a thin world), you think they would understand that since we are interested in the lap band.

Call your doctor and see if he wants you to lose a certain amount and go from there. All I can say is stand up for yourself, and do your best.

Good luck and keep us posted.